Fan Duel Toronto Raptors

Who’s it gonna be?

By 6pm today one of Jamario Moon, Luke Jackson, or Juan Dixon will no longer be a Raptor. Sliced from the roster like a cancerous mole, the player (or playa) to be cut has been a contemptuous debate between Raptors fans and Real Gm blowhards alike all preseason. In face, to say that the news…

By 6pm today one of Jamario Moon, Luke Jackson, or Juan Dixon will no longer be a Raptor. Sliced from the roster like a cancerous mole, the player (or playa) to be cut has been a contemptuous debate between Raptors fans and Real Gm blowhards alike all preseason. In face, to say that the news media and chat forums alike have beaten this debate into the ground is an understatement…it’s likely halfway to China at this point, soon to be joined by those ever-resourceful escapists on Prison Break.

At one point, Joey Graham and Maceo Baston were in the mix – even former California Raisin/current benchweight Derrick Martin was rumored to be on the block.

But if you want the truth, today’s decision really comes down to Moon or Jackson. Dixon, while frustrating, has proven himself on NBA rosters (yeah, you could make an argument that the craptastic Portland and Washington teams he played on don’t count as NBA rosters – just don’t tell any of those gun-toting hooligans he ran with in Oregon where you heard that). He brings a potent (if not streaky) scoring touch off the bench, and happens to be on the books for $2.9 million this season.

Colangelo’s been fishing for offers that no one’s been biting on, but that’s what happens when you dangle a dead worm into the lake. This adds to Juan’s security since the Colangelo I know isn’t going to burn 3 mill like that. Juan also had a shitty childhood, and you try looking into an orphan’s eyes and telling him there’s no bugs for dinner tonight (orphans available if necessary). So cut Dixon from the cut list, but not from our hearts.

That’s right Juan, clap it up. You escaped being a castaway by the hair on your chinny-chin chin.

Then there’s Jamario Moon. Ol’ Moonie. Sole member of the Moon-Tang Clan. No one disputes his athleticism, energy, and defensive capabilities, and that wispy moustache of his would make any pedophile proud (and Adam Morrison extremely jealous). He’s had success in the WBA (not the WNBA, but close) and in college, which you could argue both those places are no lower caliber than the two rosters Juan’s played on previous (mentioned above). Oh, and he has a fun, fan-friendly name. MMMMMOOOONNNN! Try it, and tell your coworkers to take a flying moonwalk if they’ve got a problem with it.

But then there’s the poor shot selection, complete lack of NBA experience, and did I mention that creepy “come-into-my-isolated-motorhome-I’m-bakin’-Splenda-cookies” moustache? He won’t be sent on any of those NBA Cares hospital visits, that’s for damn sure. Despite his facial handicap, Jamario looks less lost with each pre-season game and could be the energetic injection the team’s looking for. If he can provide stability on defense and avoid jacking half-court three’s in the offensive set, he should find himself a role on a team that has few others with his skill-set. Joey Graham is the only other stud athlete on the squad (and why he’s getting his 4th year option picked up instead of landing on the Goodbye Short List, I don’t understand), so Jamario seems to be the peg to fit in the slender, Gumby-esque hole.

Looks like Jamario stole your orphans, Juan. And your roster spot, Luke.

Which leaves us to Luke Jackson, or ‘Cool Hand Luke’ as the ingenious Toronto media has taken to calling him. I mean, that’s a decent nickname, but its no ‘Full Moon’ (Get it? Cause his name’s Moon, and when he dunks, its like he fills up the net and oh nevermind). Luke has spent the four years since Draft Day 2004 (where he went 10th overall – 4 spots ahead of another Raptor, Kris Humphries) on the injured list with knee tendinitis and back spasms. Not exactly the start of your career you dream of growing up scraping your knees on the mean tree-lined suburban streets of pot-friendly Eugene, Oregon.

Since then Luke’s bumped around on the Clipper, Celtics, and Cavs without much fanfare. While he is a very capable shooter with a high basketball IQ, earning him ‘role player’ status, Jason Kapono plays the same role, only better. So when we brought in one defensive liability with a consistent jumper, the other defensive liability with a consistent jumper had to see the writing on the wall, what the Rock was cooking, or whatever the go-to phrase for foresight is these days. Though he says he’s the first in and the last out of practice, it doesn’t show on the court (not that he’s had much chance, in his defence). He’s missed the lion’s share of open jumpers, shots he’s supposed to hit. And even though he’s got a guaranteed contract of $799,000, B.C. could dump that without feeling it in his pocketbook.

So until it’s officially announced by 6pm today, I’m going to say farewell to Luke Jackson, a really nice guy from the interviews I’ve read. Since he claims to love the city Luke, if you’re sticking around Toronto for the year and looking for a job, let me be the first to officially invite you to come play for the Rhinos of the HoopDome B division men’s league. You’ll be paid in HoopBucks (not legal tender in provinces containing a vowel), but more importantly, you’re wanted.

And after being traded, dropped, and chopped from every roster you’ve been on, isn’t that enough?

Yes, that IS your career getting away from you. Better catch it before you end up like Paul Shirley.

***UPDATE: Yeah, Luke was chopped. Probably drowning his sorrows in the lap (or other pillowed surface) of some hot UofT chick at the Madison right now. Poor guy. Poor rich, tall, good-looking guy.