800_cp_sad_bargnani_110113

Raptors War Room

Colangelo: Who do we take in this draft?

Mitchell: I need a rebounder, a scorer, a playbook, some athleticism and defense.

Gherardini: I know a few guys overseas who can supply that in one package.

Colangelo: What? Who?

Mitchell: Oh no, here we go again….

Gherardini: Ronalds Zakis.

Mitchell: Who?

Colangelo: Who?!?

Gherardini: Ronalds Zakis, he’s 6′ 9″ and from Latvia, need I say more? He gets you 6.5 rebounds a game and is NBA-ready. He can shoot, he can pass, he can rebound and most of all he fits like a glove on this team. I’ve been following this guy since age 4, a talent unseen I swear by the Gods.

Mitchell: How about we take Brandon Rush? We could use some of that scoring and defense, he’s athletic too and we desperately need that. He even plays perimeter defense you know……

Colangelo: (ignoring Mitchell, turning towards Maurizio) Tell me more about Zakis.

Gherardini: He got 1400 in his SATs and sat through Sex and the City without even flinching…

Colangelo: By God!! This man is a beast.

Mitchell: That don’t mean shit.

Gherardini: Told you the guy was tough, question is will he be available at #17, personally, I think Phoenix will grab this guy at #16, we should trade up.

Colangelo: Done! Let’s just ask Jim Kelly what he thinks about Zakis. Hey Jim, what thou thinkst of our fellow Zakis?

Kelly: (pretending he knows who Zakis is) Well, I think he’s a goooood player with goood potential and has gotten stronger since the last time I saw him and is on his way to becoming a gooood player…..?

Mitchell: Oh Jim, please help me out here. I don’t need this man, I need Rush or Lopez or Dorsey or even Hibbert…please no more 5 year projects..I beg you man.

Colangelo: (ignoring Mitchell’s negativity) Sam, you’ll love this guy. Should we ask Chris Bosh what he thinks about the pick?

Mitchell: (sensing some hope) Yes, yes!! Let’s ask Chris, he’ll tell you what we should do!

Gherardini: Judging by the great chemistry and synergy and love Bargnani and Bosh display, its clear that Chris loves to play with underdeveloped players with a shot at greatness but a probability of mediocrity. Its just a waste of time asking him, its almost insulting his intelligence.

Colangelo: Agreed! Zakis it is…on we go…trade TJ Ford + #17 to Golden State for #14.

Mitchell: (defeated, stares blankly into space)

——

Yeah, its a slow day and its the weekend. Take the mind of the Raptors and go roll a blog joint with Cuzoogle or check out Euro 2008.