The “we’re up double digits….we got this…..oh crap” edition.
Adams – One of life’s biggest mysteries: how this guy even pulls down a per diem.
Bargnani – got to the line, where he was perfect, tangled with Vince, spoke back to #15, but had the foul bug bite him a bit too hard again. Still, some intensity was welcome.
Bosh – blanked from the field early on, he came back via his old friend the free throw line. Continues playing like a turtle, not attacking those he should be able to beat, and continues to rely on his 3pt shot to try and keep his team in the game in the late going.
Calderon – seriously, somebody needs to implant a chip in his brain that makes him re-think every time he wants to shoot in traffic. Not only that, but I’m not sure I have ever been more disappointed in his decision making than in this game. Roko clearly outplayed him early on and Jose was unable to take advantage of a cold Devin Harris. Unacceptable behaviour from someone that most considered an All-Star option to start the season.
Graham – Everybody got a little excited when the Pocket Rocket started the game strong with a nice dunk and some nice boards, but evidently the batteries died and we were left alone with our hand as a mistress.
Humphries – the team bus will never be the same now that Kris and Jake will be on it together. Silent but deadly farting and armpit noises will rule.
Jawai – word on the street is he could be playing now……except he is apt to put too much heart into it.
Kapono – got his percentage back up even though a good number of his attempts were crowded. He could put up staggering numbers if we actually ran the break even 20 times a game. Instead, he is forced to exert energy and run off screens or baseline in order to have any hope. He could be getting too old for this. Oh, and hey, how about that mesmerizing defensive duel between him and Carter. Swoon.
Moon – second solid game in a row. Where have you been, son? His is the type of energy that should be infectious, and it was early on. The intensity he has shown in these 2 games almost make those ill-advised jumpers feel okay. Almost.
O’Neal – again, like the rest of the gang, he started off well. Then he decided to pull his shorts down and invite Mr Lopez over for a game of Spank The Overpaid Interior Defender Who Is Wearing A Headband. Point the fingers all you want, but if this team is consistently being beaten (badly) on the boards and now second chance points, your interior defenders get most of the blame. Oh, and, again, you see that guy wearing the same colour jersey as you, but with the #4 on the back? You see how he sprints up the floor. Watch. Learn. Imitate. I hate to say it, Mr. HO, but if this squad has any chance at making the playoffs, it may rest at your feet. I hope you realize that soon, because if you don’t, then the supporters will be circling their wagons looking for answers……..as Sam Mitchell leans back in his recliner and guffaws.
Parker – didn’t even realize he played. Nuff said.
Solomon – I kinda wanted to see him get some burn against Dooling. Two guys barely hanging on to their NBA dream…probably going to run a train on a Dance Pak girl……probably carry guns to protect themselves…..
Ukic – far from stellar, but far from, well, Will. Hate to be a parrot, but he needs more burn. A 8 minute bridge over the 1st and 2nd / 3rd and 4th gives him 16 minutes of floor time and shouldn’t kill us, especially given how some of our hangers-on have been playing lately.
Voskuhl – living proof that Oil Of Olay can indeed be used by men.
Driving The Bus: Jamario Moon
Under The Bus: Anthony Parker
Game Theme: Those Were The Days
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