Roll Call

Roll Call – Jan 19 vs Hawks

The “positivity becomes me” edition

Bargnani – I’m positive his agent is secretly making calls around the league to gauge interest. Hell, if Swirsky is saying Bosh will probably leave, then why not Bargs too? Hit a lull in the middle of the game, but ended up with a 20/10. As impressed as we all should be with how he has played lately, I’m really impressed by the smarts he is showing. Great stuff.

Bosh – I’m positive he isn’t leaving this city of his own volition. Yet another double double, but that has to be tempered with some bad ball handling. Heck of a pass in transition to Moon, but if I’m positive of something else, it’s that he won’t be buying Moon an extra bag of peanuts on the flight tonight.

Calderon – I’m positive he misses his pillow fights with Jorge on nights like this.

Graham – I’m positive the world would have stopped spinning had he replicated what he did yesterday. 3 early fouls took him out of the game and, when he got back in, he looked like his mind stayed out. He was as useful to us today as a person with dyslexia on Wheel Of Fortune.

Humphries – I’m positive he is “injured”. Yeah, and Megan Fox is over here right now making an appointment for me to accompany her to get her breasts enhanced to look like Salma Hayek’s. She wants me to ensure they look just right.

Jawai – I’m positive he was activated just because he actually bought a new sports jacket. Poor bastard finally splurged and what does Jay do? Puts him in a uniform. Sheesh. And Nathan thought the aborigines had it bad. By the way, I promised I wouldn’t make any heart jokes once he was activated. I will keep my word. After all, if I didn’t, I’d be left between a rock and a heart place.

Kapono – I’m positive you want him taking that final shot. You have to just to make Colangelo feel he is loved and respected.  I must say, though, that both attempts by J-Killa looked like a 12 year old girl trying to fit into her older sisters 2 piece bikini: flat and with no hope.

Moon – I’m positive he needs to be roughed up by some drunk Newfies. First the boneheaded foul at the end of the half, then the Roko-inspired fouling-for-points competition that Ukic started yesterday, and the sheer ability to make any hope disappear like you finding out that your competition for the marketing job you want is an ex-hooker who’s biggest client was the owner of the company. If HO is worth anything, he should take a metal pipe to the teeth of Mr. Moon.

O’Neal – I’m positive he enjoyed “Wall E” on the movie channel at the hotel while his teammates worked to pay some of his salary.

Parker – I’m positive after having to face Nash yesterday, he looked at today’s opponent and slumped down to bed murmuring “bibby..bibby…bibby” until he fell asleep. Just shy of a double double and again looking rejuvenated.  It will be a shame to see this AP leave us, to be honest.

Solomon – I’m positive that as I type this he is dusting off his resume and firing it off to Starbuck’s. Willy the Barista at your service.

Ukic – I’m positive that Roko should use this game as a stepping stone. Did he make mistakes? Sure. He also made some smart decisions, he mixed up his drives and pull ups, and he was actually directing traffic. Still needs to be more trusting of his teammates at times.

Voskuhl – I’m positive he hit up some bar after the game and mocked Jamario something fierce. I bet he is the one who demanded Jamario remove the headband. Kind of a demotion type thing. How pathetic must you be if Jake Voskuhl mocks you? Anyway, average game from Jake tonight. No points, couple of boards, took up space, updated Twitter. All good.

Driving The Bus:   Chris Bosh

Under The Bus:    Jamario Moon

Game Theme:      Doh

Remember to reach out to us on Twitter and to grab our Feed. Both get you the latest posts and latest Raptors headlines. A little birdy tells me that something big will be announced soon… the first to know.

To Top