The “start printing those playoff invoices” edition

Bargnani – he had as much rhythm tonight as an elephant trying to dance to drum and bass. Completely taken out of his element and piling up on the fouls like AB V1.0.

Bosh – I might start calling him Lobsterboy. If I didn’t see the odd close up every now and then, I’d swear his hands were lobster claws trying to catch a beach ball. Some games I think the amount of stuff slipping through his hands is on par with a teenage boy finally discovering what momma’s hand lotion could be used for.

Calderon –  a good game that could very well have been demolished had those two successive shots in the last minute of play came back to haunt us. No need for either one. Swing the ball and get a better look. He proved my point again tonight in that he did a tremendous job in transition and a piss poor job on most halfcourt sets. I’m starting to really wonder if he overthinks and takes a play or two off mentally.

Graham – 15pts 5boards in about a quiet a fashion as Joey can do it. If this could be average Joey, I think we would accept it. By the end of the season, it would be interesting to see who has the most bandwagon jumpers: Joey or Andrea.

Humphries – still broken.

Jawai – no burn for Nate tonight. Probably as disappointed as the average 6 year old when they are told they are moving….to Jersey. You ever been there? It’s like God was happy as he created the west coast, was content as he started moving east, started to get cramps around Ohio, and then lost his lunch and called the result New Jersey.

Kapono – The Heisman. That’s what his little baseline runner should be called. Either that or the “aw, screw it, I’m just gonna granny it” shot.

Moon – I wondered what got into him until I saw that clip at the end of the game and he was talking to some (presumed) friends that were sitting courtside. Always nice to impress the homies. I truly do enjoy it when I can watch a whole game and not see that grin, knowing it means he is actually locking in and trying his damndest to do something. Great block, nice alley oop, and you could tell he was in Carter’s head a bit by the end of the game. Solid.

O’Neal – stat sheet doesn’t reflect it, but a good game. He was a presence and Lopez was a load for both HO and CB. He was active enough to keep the Nets guessing and also forcing them to be aware of where he was. Still fouling as quickly as a rabbit eats a carrot, but what do you expect for a washed up has been allstar? (I tried so hard, too)

Parker – his defense to start the game was as embarrassing as having a booger hanging out of your nose on your first date. Then he said to himself “Sweet Lord, I’m turning into Jose”, snapped out of it, locked down and then, for added fun, decided to shoot the lights out. Sure, our guards did well shooting the ball tonight, but some of them probably have cricks in their necks as well after watching the moon shots being lobbed over their heads. AP is better than that and I expect he is as frustrated with himself as anybody.

Solomon – you know how you sometimes hear about this cool kid who starts sleeping around with some hot chicks, then a rumour circulates about him being closer to being hung like a snail as opposed to, say, me? His coolness factor drops from 10 to 2 or 3 almost overnight? Yeah, well, that kid has been Solomoned.

Ukic – you know it’s bad when you are brought aboard and touted as being a NBA worthy backup PG only to see the visiting teams dance crew get more floor time than you….and, even worse, more meaningful time.

Voskuhl – keeping up his 1 foul in 1 minute routine. Consistency is good. Make us proud, son…make us proud.

Driving The Bus:   Jose Calderon

Under The Bus:    Andrea Bargnani

Game Theme:      Dream Girl

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