The “Violet Palmer needs to be demoted” edition

Banks – if he becomes an alcoholic, can he come off our cap?

Bargnani – reminded us of the pre-Christmas Bargs. A quiet 17, but 4 fouls and just 2 boards. Bad time to pull a Keon when cult hero Armstrong dubbed you as the top Raptor story of the year.

Bosh – told the crowd that the worst is behind this team and thanked them for a full season of support. Then he went out, got 2 quick fouls, and sat on the bench. Would have been nice to see him pull a final double double out of the hat, but alas, that was like wishing BC would make a wise draft choice. Folly.

Calderon – what do you know? A nice solid game from the guy who would probably be coming off the bench for half the teams in the league. He has picked up his driving game lately and has been making nice crisp passes. Too little too late, mind you, but if Jason Kapono ever needs a wing man in that category…..

Douby – All you fools that think Ukic is the second coming of Stockton should take a look at Quincy. What he has done in limited minutes far outshines all (but one game) that Roko has given us all year. It’s all we need, really. A nice 15-20min guy that can have a Parker-like backup if needed. Quincy showed great court vision tonight, some nice range, and is a game away from earning enough money to hit up the salon for a wax job.

Graham – he wants to come back, but if he doesn’t, he left the ACC playing the way he can: gritty, attacked the rim, talkative, and hungry. Not his best game, but one that didn’t leave his hometown fans bemoaning his name at the end of it.

Humphries –         

Kapono – money says he only played 7 minutes because he had a mini-TV in his tear aways and wanted to catch the Masters sudden death playoff. After all, if you are playing your regulars and are up against a team that hits threes about as often as a midget hits a jumper, you’d think JKap would be on the floor a little bit more.

Marion – another highlight dunk and a game winning steal took some of the bad taste out of our mouth from another subpar defensive game. Can’t say he looks disinterested since he always looks the same. Kind of like a scarecrow.

Mensah-Bonsu – word earlier today was that the Raps had decided to make him an offer this summer. Yay. I can’t wait to see him back here. The curse of Keon/Jamario lives on.

O’Bryant – great workmanlike effort again. Unlike Pops, he actually puts up numbers when we need them. Still too foul-happy, but I wonder how much of that is due to the officials not giving his freakishly long arms enough credit.

Parker – typical AP first half, but offensively in the second half it was like he took some of his sisters meds and started producing like a baller should. If he was auditioning for the Sixers, he sure impressed them. Fadeaways, jumpers, drives…the whole shebang.

Ukic – I now know why I’m not a Ukic supporter. The name Roko reminds me of Ikea. It describes something that, as advertised, looks good and functional, but in reality needs a lot of work, though cheap is still overpriced, can easily fall apart, and, at the end of the day, never quite lives up to the hype.

Voskuhl – threw his headband into the crowd at the end of the game. No doubt it was caught by Arse who now will put it up on ebay in hopes to fetch enough to pay for his schooling.

Driving The Bus:   Jose Calderon

Under The Bus:    Shawn Marion

Game Theme:

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