Interesting Numbers at the Quarter-Way Point


I have absolutely no interest in writing about the Raptors right now. If I did, I would write a Choose Your Own Adventure style column, or a Mad Libs column, similar to the following:

“__(curse word) __ (curse word) ___(curse word) Jay Triano ___ (curse word) defense ________ (curse word) polar bears ________ (curse word) OLIVER MILLER!!!”

And I’m sure everyone reading this has already wrote, spoke, or thought that sequence multiple times in the last few weeks. So instead, I’ve decided to put in just slightly more effort than the Raptors on the defensive end and offer a player-by-player First Quarter Bitch SlapEvaluation. Enjoy, and step back from that ledge, my friend.




Pretty self explanatory. In my mind, we aren’t in panic mode, we are in a dire situation. The club is run by someone who is all flash but has no ability of building a quality team within the salary cap. Calls for this team to enter the luxury tax are all well and good, but… Read more »