As soon as the home office in Athabasca, Alberta, got the word that there wasn’t going to be a Sunday morning post, they telegraphed this in. Without further ado, they present the Top Ten Reasons to Re-sign Patrick O’Bryant

  1. Of the 1000 O’Bryant jerseys created, 999 still for sale at Center Sports.
  2. DNPCDs just aren’t the same without him.
  3. Solomon Alabi needs someone to talk to at the deep end of the bench.
  4. Just so there’s somebody to blame when things go wrong, it’s good to have at least one Irishman around.
  5. Replenish his bank account so he can spend more time at the Playboy Mansion.
  6. If you played Six Degrees of Will Solomon, you’d only need one degree to get to Will.
  7. In the event of a fight, it’s a comforting feeling to know that POB “has your back”.
  8. Prevent Miami from getting their hands on him, thus guaranteeing a championship.
  9. A career with 126 fouls and 127 rebounds might sound like nothing, but wait till you see him in NBA Live.

…and the #1 reason to Re-sign Patrick O’Bryant…drum roll….

  1. If he’s gone, there would be no way of knowing when garbage time officially started.