The “we suck…no, wait, YOU suck” edition:

 

Alabi: I say NB, you say DL…NB…DL…NB…DL…

Andersen: something that hasn’t been seen in years in a backup center/PF slot for us: 75% FG 5 Reb 0 PF. It’s like Primoz never happened. Oh glorious day.

Banks: 3 minutes…either the perfect amount of time for Banks to play in garbage minutes or the amount of time it would take for Sam’s wife to leave him for me. 

Barbosa: bit more himself tonight. Even keeled, blew by a couple of his defenders, appeared to talk a bit more on the floor and went to the bench often for clarification of play calls. I think we have this years silent leader right here.

Bargnani: 30minutes of playing time and never seemed to be pulling on his shorts. A nice solid effort tonight which also featured the return of a move that drives me nuts: his patented stutter step when he goes to drive that invariably includes as many steps as a dancer in Fosse. Makes me want to throw fluffy cats against a wall. Hard.

Calderon: hit as many shots as I hit rave clubs. That would be none. He did distribute the ball well (7 assists) but against a shorthanded Cavs team, Jose should be able to earn some of those big bucks he is getting paid. Not helping his trade value…and maybe that’s the point.

Davis: this guy comes off as cool as ice. Strikes me as the kind of guy that you’d want to hang with at a sorority party just because you know he can’t handle all the women hitting him up.

DeRozan: Chiclets was aggressive tonight but seemed to shy away from contact. Can’t do it. For a team that I still think will struggle for points against average defences, we need DeMar to provide points in any way possible. Carter-esque pull ups or fadeaways won’t always cut it.

Dorsey: inactive. Don’t fret, though…if Amir continues playing like he is, Dorsey could be 7th man of the year by the AllStar break.

Evans: he is either the front runner of the “play well enough to get yourself out of Canada” derby or he is just jacked up about not being injured. As originally advertised, Reggie is putting on a clinic on how to win fans in a hockey market. The ovation for him tonight was only bested by the one for free pizza, which is saying something in this town. 14 rebounds, again few shot attempts, and a hustle that I thought had left his body forever.

Jack: saw flashes of disinterest tonight, something that scares me 2 games in. Shot was off, he didn’t push the ball with any consistency and even appeared lacklustre in setting up his teammates. Off night.

Johnson: took 19minutes to get 4 fouls tonight. Stellar. As frustrating as going to a door and getting a trick instead of a treat.

Kleiza: what I like is that he didn’t blow me away tonight either, but you can see the talent bubbling under. Seems to force the odd shot and I’m not sure if he is adjusting to the consistent starting role, but he seems a little out of sorts.

Weems: where is the fun? Where is the looseness? We were playing the Cavs, who were shorthanded and afforded the Young Onez the opportunity to run wild. Sadly, it didn’t happen. Sonny needs to break out of his early shell.

Wright: rocking the Pops throwback headband, Jules gave us 4 minutes of his best non-bowling work. The result? As memorable as your fourth date with Clarissa in grade 9.

Driving The Bus: Reggie Evans

Under The Bus: Jarrett Jack

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