The “wait…wait…they did WHAT?!?!” edition:

Ajinca: told you he was like POB.

Alabi: his game is like when you sneeze and all you have left are used tissues to wipe your nose.

Barbosa: he teased us. Wasn’t up for game action. We refer to that as pulling a Peja.

Bargnani: 26 shots, 7 of them from deep, 5 turnovers, and the ability to still drive you crazy when he scores 30 points. I swear his knuckles drag as he walks.

Bayless: he got jealous of all those cool looking cats in suits at the end of the bench and decided to hang with them for a night.

Calderon: 6 points on only 7 shots. What a useless tool. The guy does nothing to help this team on or off the floor and needs to be traded to a team that can actually get some performance out of him. (by the way, 19 assists to tie the team record).

Davis: banging under the boards tonight, stealing chances away from the dogs. I’ll die saying he deserves more of a shot at being part of the offence, but I guess we can wait a year or two for that to happen.

DeRozan: started the game like LeBron did last night. Jumpers were falling, chicks were swooning, VIP rooms were getting prepped at Filmore’s.  A nice all around game but for the second time in a week he didn’t get to the charity stripe.

Dorsey: give Elvis his guitar back, chump.

Evans: who you got in the Octagon: Reggie or Love?

A. Johnson: he put this team on his back tonight and willed them to end the streak. His line was a ridiculous 19 points (8/10), 12 rebounds, 6 assists, 3 steals, 2 blocks and no turnovers. He was a breathing how-to manual showing how to earn your paycheque at least once a year.

T. Johnson:  you can admit you died a little inside when you heard he would be the backup to Jose tonight.  He handled it well, keeping the flow going and looking natural. Fouls hurt though.

Kleiza: if an owl dies and nobody is around, is it really dead?

Weems: yeah, sure, he played okay, but so does a pinball machine with a bad flipper. Still no use for this guy unless he wants to sand some dead skin off Reggie’s ankles.

Wright: Jack Armstrong’s boyfriend continues to bubble under. Tonight had him on the floor for 16 minutes of typical Julian play: active, defensive minded, and clapping like someone suffering from a brain injury.

Driving The Bus: Amir Johnson

Under The Bus: Sonny Weems

Game Theme:

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46 Responses to “Toronto Raptors Roll Call vs Timberwolves Feb 4”

  1. Michel G

    If shooting 8/14 for 16 points, with 3 boards and 3 assists (and only 1 turnover) gets you under the bus, I hope Sonny does it more often. The Young Gunz were a combined 26/37 (70%). Impressive.

    • torontonian_32

      I was thinking the same thing. Julian Wright over Weems? You must be watching a different game

    • KJ-B

      I’ll give “No Money” his credit due………. He’s still in the red though on his monthly balance statement…

  2. Borntobewild

    Sorry but Calderon should be driving the bus, they didnt need points from him tonight with bargs, derozan, and amir playing well, but his play-making won us this game.

    • RapthoseLeafs

      I agree. Jose only shot 2 for 7, maybe not an aggressive night for offense, but he did make 19 assists. He was my choice for top dog tonight. With Amir & Bargs wrapping up 2nd & 3rd stars for the Raps.

      As for tonite’s stat padding, Raptors are building up votes for the 3 Pt futility award. Not counting tonight, Raptors are .008 points from the 2nd worst rated team against opponents 3 pt FG%. After tonight, that differential got smaller.

      Without that being bad enough to digest, Raps have been holding on “for dear life”, the worst shooting percentage for the 3.

      Minnesota popped in 12 over 48 minutes. We didn’t. And we won despite that.

  3. Junior Maurice

    Bayless: he got jealous of all those cool looking cats in suits at the end of the bench and decided to hang with them for a night.

    Reggie evans aint good looking bro lmao he look like a character from planet of the apes

  4. momo

    What’s with all this hate on Calderon? Just because he didn’t score doesn’t mean he’s a “useless tool”; especially if he dropped 19 assists. Horrrrrrrrrrrible roll call.

  5. Shee

    UFC style I got Love winning, with Reggie getting DQ for low-blows…

    Btw, anybody else nervous Bargs was gonna lose that jump ball against Telfair?

  6. Webcrawler89

    It was a game of “who’s worse” and thankfully, it turned out to be T-Wolves. Glad to see Bargnani trying to get his game back, and my heart is filled with warmth just remembering how well Amir played tonight.

    DD had some good shots, but it’s about time the dude practices his dribbles. I loved his defence though.

    DD, ED, AJ = Raptors future.

    and Altraps Jose roll call was dripping with sarcasm. In fact, it was dripping more than most of your girlfriends last night. Oh SNAP!

    Thank you, thank you, and goodnight.

  7. Cito Knickz

    found this on the wolves real gm
    e: 2/4 Wolves @ Raptors 6PM: Grandmas With Guns Edition
    by champalift on Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:30 pm

    When Love puts the ball on the floor….God, watch out. The whole team for that matter. Just ugly.
    I am sure Mr. Taylor enjoyed this **** show.
    The best thing tonight, I love the Raptors color guy. He is fantastic

  8. arkansas

    Kinda cheap throwing someone under the bus who had the highest +/- while on the floor for 33 minutes.

  9. Cito Knickz

    found this 2 lol

    Re: 2/4 Wolves @ Raptors 6PM: Grandmas With Guns Edition
    by Devilzsidewalk on Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:11 pm

    Calderon looks great, we should trade for that guy!

  10. ghotte

    That was an extremely frustrating 30pts by Bargnani. There’s no one I’ve witnessed this year play so poorly yet get 30 pts…and the Raps dearly needed every single point. Amir was fantastic. Kudos to Calderon, Demar and Weems. Julian brought energy but was a ticking time bomb offense. Good win.

    Now let the losing begin again…

  11. tyson

    Jose was awesome tonight. Man when he plays like this I get shivers! we shouldn’t trade him unless we get better in return. (no i’m not basing that on one game)

  12. Sek99

    Weems under the bus? Come on man. I’d say he played better than Bargnani. They all played pretty well tonight anyway, so its hard to say who was the worst, but come one. A guy shoots 57%, plays good defense for most of the game (especially in the fourth) and has 1 turnover, and that’s ‘bad’? Shit, that would be tough team to play on with those standards. As good as Bargnani was comparatively to his past games, I’m actively reminding myself that he doesn’t play defense (Darko has some sort of ‘stroll around the defender slowly’ move which Bargs finds unguardable), still shot a crap % at 38, had 5 TO and made some very poor decisions in the game.

    Just want to see if I was the only one about to have a heart attack when, after going 5 for 5 in the first 9 minutes of the game, DD doesn’t see another touch until 6 minutes in the second quarter? What was Trianos problem exactly, he wasn’t hitting 3’s? When a guys lights out, feed him the ball. Pretty simple. You didn’t see the heat going away from Lebron last night, and they have to feed fucking Dwayne Wade the ball as well. Ridiculous. Hell, we had a 7 point lead until Good ol’ Jay decided that Trey Johnson and Bargnani could handle the offense on their own without our four most productive guys at the time. Needless to say, the T’wolves made a run and I just don’t get this guy. Almost everything he does confuses me. Also, he needs to learn that Zone defense is good up until the other team starts knocking down threes, which makes it as effective as an amputee turtle would be at high jump. Which is to say, not very.

  13. Sek99

    Oh ya and about Jose, the guy played really well tonight, but people also need to remember that he was getting abused by Telfair and Flynn on defense. Also, a lot of his assists were just passes to guys coming off screens in set plays and knocking shots down. Any PG could do them, but I guess Jose does have to applauded for making the right decisions. Great game I guess overall, but still had a few pretty big flaws.

    • Martin

      No dispute about defense, but on the

      “a lot of his assists were just passes to guys coming off screens in set plays and knocking shots down. Any PG could do them…”

      Exactly. And too many PGs don’t do them…
      (which you might be saying after that)

    • Theswirsky

      you don’t get 19 assists by accident or chance. Every PG will get some assists because guys hit their jumpers. They will also miss out on assists because guys don’t hit their jumpers or get fouled on a shot attempt. Like you said… its a matter of making the right decisions. A pass doesn’t need to be behind the back, cross court, no look or needled through 2 defenders to be a good one.

      Telfair and Flynn combined for 24 pts and 7 assists (and 6 turnovers) on 45% shooting in 48 minutes. I hardly call that being abused, when Jose’s 19 assists (in 38 minutes) contributed more to a teams success than both of their pts and assists combined. yeah he got beat a bunch of times early (find me a point guard that doesn’t, should I find the clip of Gaines blowing by Chris Paul earlier this year in NO?)… but in the end Jose won the war.

    • pran

      i’ve got to agree with you about jose’s defense (while disagreeing with you on jose’s offence), there’s a reason steve nash has yet to make the finals…..

      • Theswirsky

        Derek Fisher? Jameer Nelson? John Paxson? Tony Parker?

        I’m not saying defense doesn’t win championships… but the PG spot is not where you get the most or best defense from.

        • pran

          good point, while pg defense isn’t the end all to being a succesful team, i won’t be complaining if he’s replaced by kyrie irving (who rarely gets blown by)

  14. AwesomeGuest

    I know we won and broke a 13-game losing streak and all guys, but I still think we suffered a big loss today: WE’RE NO LONGER LEET (1337) D:

    Oh yeah, and Kleiza’s out for a season or 2, but meh.

  15. DonCarlos

    Was it just me, or did Trey Johnson not look totally out of place? I actually saw him fight through screens pretty convincingly – I can’t remember the last time I saw a Raptor really do that – Alvin? Doug Christie? As a backup to the backup practice player (12-13th man), he could be alright.

    Demar’s handles have improved somewhat, despite comments to the contrary. He’s never going to be an elite ballhandler (that’s Reggie haha), as long as he can get to where he wants to go he’ll be fine.

    • Toshmon

      Treyblooked energetic he ws clappig in the huddles and hustling on D.

      Thats the kind of personality we need in the lockeroom for the rest of the year.

  16. Toshmon

    Did you guys see Blake Griffin take out Al Horford LAST NIGHT!!!!????

    TJ Ford hit=Karma

    That guys is my fucking hero.

  17. Cito Knickz

    Assists Per Game Leaders – Qualified
    1 Rajon Rondo, PG BOS 38 37.3 475 12.5 148 3.9 16.1 3.21
    2 Steve Nash, PG PHO 46 33.1 507 11.0 171 3.7 16.0 2.96
    3 Chris Paul, PG NOR 51 35.1 490 9.6 119 2.3 13.1 4.12
    4 Deron Williams, PG UTH 47 37.7 446 9.5 162 3.4 12.1 2.75
    5 John Wall, PG WAS 37 37.3 339 9.2 138 3.7 11.8 2.46
    6 Raymond Felton, PG NYK 49 38.6 434 8.9 158 3.2 11.0 2.75
    7 Jose Calderon, PG TOR 44 30.6 386 8.8 96 2.2 13.8 4.02
    8 Russell Westbrook, PG OKC 49 36.1 418 8.5 187 3.8 11.4 2.24
    9 Jason Kidd, PG DAL 49 33.6 412 8.4 108 2.2 12.0 3.81
    10 Derrick Rose, PG CHI 47 37.9 385 8.2 161 3.4 10.4 2.39

  18. Bradominoso

    I bet that Rondo would be also “a useless tool. The guy does nothing to help this team on or off the floor”
    Demar is the worst starter of this team, he is unable to shoot and also is a defensive liability.


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