The “wait…wait…they did WHAT?!?!” edition:
Ajinca: told you he was like POB.
Alabi: his game is like when you sneeze and all you have left are used tissues to wipe your nose.
Barbosa: he teased us. Wasn’t up for game action. We refer to that as pulling a Peja.
Bargnani: 26 shots, 7 of them from deep, 5 turnovers, and the ability to still drive you crazy when he scores 30 points. I swear his knuckles drag as he walks.
Bayless: he got jealous of all those cool looking cats in suits at the end of the bench and decided to hang with them for a night.
Calderon: 6 points on only 7 shots. What a useless tool. The guy does nothing to help this team on or off the floor and needs to be traded to a team that can actually get some performance out of him. (by the way, 19 assists to tie the team record).
Davis: banging under the boards tonight, stealing chances away from the dogs. I’ll die saying he deserves more of a shot at being part of the offence, but I guess we can wait a year or two for that to happen.
DeRozan: started the game like LeBron did last night. Jumpers were falling, chicks were swooning, VIP rooms were getting prepped at Filmore’s. A nice all around game but for the second time in a week he didn’t get to the charity stripe.
Dorsey: give Elvis his guitar back, chump.
Evans: who you got in the Octagon: Reggie or Love?
A. Johnson: he put this team on his back tonight and willed them to end the streak. His line was a ridiculous 19 points (8/10), 12 rebounds, 6 assists, 3 steals, 2 blocks and no turnovers. He was a breathing how-to manual showing how to earn your paycheque at least once a year.
T. Johnson: you can admit you died a little inside when you heard he would be the backup to Jose tonight. He handled it well, keeping the flow going and looking natural. Fouls hurt though.
Kleiza: if an owl dies and nobody is around, is it really dead?
Weems: yeah, sure, he played okay, but so does a pinball machine with a bad flipper. Still no use for this guy unless he wants to sand some dead skin off Reggie’s ankles.
Wright: Jack Armstrong’s boyfriend continues to bubble under. Tonight had him on the floor for 16 minutes of typical Julian play: active, defensive minded, and clapping like someone suffering from a brain injury.
Driving The Bus: Amir Johnson
Under The Bus: Sonny Weems