The “PIZZA!!!!!!” edition:

Barbosa: you best believe I’m choosing this guy first overall on my H.O.R.S.E. team.  I’d hate to see what damage he could do in my living room using a nerf hoop.  8 of 17 and probably 12 of those looked like he was balling in weightlessness.

Bayless: starting on Wall duty tonight, but he’s played well with every start so maybe he’s found a new spot. His shots were somewhat disturbing tonight in that most of them resembled frozen turkeys being heaved from the side of a lake by a 9 year old wondering how big the splash would be.

Butler: barely broke a sweat in 3 minutes of play. To put that in perspective, that is just a little shorter than a typical Justin Bieber single….yet just as horrific.

Calderon: if you are Colangelo, you are BBMing the video department right now asking them to put a clip together of Jose’s 17 assists, deleting any screen time in which you can see we were playing the Wizards, burn that baby onto a disc and ship it out to fellow GM’s and hope for the best.

Davis: while not nearly as statistically impressive as the last game, Ed still looked head and shoulders better than basically every other game this year. Had to appreciate his effort against a weaker team.

DeRozan: Bambi was back to missing Thumper tonight and looking genuinely disinterested in joining the rest of his forestmates in frolicking in the picnic area. Anybody with any fire would look at a date with the Wizards as an opportunity to drink some gasoline and feed off of Jose’s open flame, but DeMar but it in neutral and, instead, decided to thumb a ride.

Forbes: so what do you do when you are the posterchild of the internet generation and a fan favourite of forum chum everywhere in Toronto? You wait in the long grass and when the schedule gifts you with the NBA version of an 80lb weakling you go out and play like you should be considered for a write-in ballot for the best Raptor ever. 6 boards in 10 minutes and, while not producing a single point, his cleaning of the glass made it a memorable night for all the kids in their basement and the statheads.

Gray: if you don’t like Aaron Gray as a starter, then you don’t like puppies or chocolate. Impressive start that was cut short due to 2 quick fouls (the second one was a brutal call) and you have to wonder if his play of late has something to do with Amir’s play tonight.

A. Johnson: I don’t care how big an Amir fan you are, but your excitement of him breaking out of his slump is dwarfed by Matt Devlin’s. Mexican and Spanish soccer commentators felt emasculated by Devlin’s calls tonight, it was that horrendously self gratifying. If you were spared Devlin’s call, you had to be happy. Amir I’m sure was pretty motivated by everybody asking him what’s wrong when he returned home the other night and it fed his cajones enough to get pumped and take aggression out on the home floor.

J. Johnson: another guy that when you look at the boxscore you go “meh”, but his play was more impassioned than most nights this year.  That block on one end followed by a called-off putback that shouldn’t have been called-off was hustle personified.

Kleiza: after taking a night off to rest his knee, he comes back to win the game for the Raptors. 3 of 3 from 3, 6 of 8 from the field, some great defence, all leading to pulling us away from the Wizards. He did look pretty uncomfortable running the floor but I’m sure the beer will be going down just fine tonight.

Magloire: called into (achem) action (achem) after Aaron’s 2 quick pickups, he added 6 rebounds into the Raptors 61 (!) on the night.  Still kills me how Jack and Matt always pump him up like he is the best addition to the Raptors roster since the Vince Carter draft day trade, though. The guy is as useful on the floor as a loaf of french stick in a toaster.

Driving the bus: Amir Johnson

Under the bus: DeMar DeRozan

Theme of the Game:

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