David Helm’s Draft Diary

How was your day?

7:30 p.m. – The NBA’s big on ladders this year; I’ve got to believe Stern’s got a second cousin who runs a ladder company. That unibrow on Anthony Davis doesn’t look great normally, but from an above shot it’s just terrible.
7:32 – Never got why everyone boo’s Stern; this year its actually deserved, since he butchered the draft before this past season ever started.
7:34 – Just about the only pick that everyone knows is coming, kind of anti-climactic. Really dumb question from the lead on the panel – Is Davis the right pick for the Hornets – have better filler than this.
7:37 – Davis gets picked; you’d think if there was an occasion to shave your hideous unibrow, this may have been it. I don’t feel like his unibrow gets enough attention, he’s one of the most intriguing prospects to come out of the draft in years, but I question his sanity when he keeps something on his face that’s worse than Tyson’s tattoo.
7:40 – Charlotte trade watch, I’d assume their going safe with Thomas Robinson if they keep it.
7:43 – MKG goes 2, quite a shocker, but really solid pick (took them long enough though). He’s the second best player in the draft, and there’s no point in getting muddled in any other question than best player available, especially when you’re the Bobcats.
7:46 – Wow bad interview, he looks absolutely lost, but the interviewer saves him by talking for him…awkward… Next up, his momma – “we serve a truly awesome god”. Didn’t know god could be descried like a stuffed crust pizza
7:47 – Mr. Beal goes to Washington! Brad Beal feels like a great pick for Washington, maybe he’ll be able to help John Wall grow into something resembling a franchise point guard.
7:51 – Can Cleaveland possibly take back to back PF’s? If so, it wouldn’t be a ringing endorsement of Tristan Thompsan. If they go SF, the Raptors Harrison Barnes pipe dream will be DOA.
7:54 – YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! DION F***ING WAITERS!!!!!!!! Okay, everyone on the comment section this past week win. I am an idiot, I officially know nothing about basketball or the draft, because there is no way Dion Waiters should be a 4th pick. Cleveland is doing an amazingly poor job of building a team. Bench players going top 5, yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
7:57 – TSN break mid draft? Oh wait, I’m in Canada, this is par for the course.
5:58 – Commercial mid draft? Never drink moosehead or buy a prius, shitty beer and a shitty car.
8:00 – T. Rob will be a fantastic fit in Sacramento, just have to hope Cousins doesn’t bring him down.
8:01 – Still haven’t recovered from the Dion Waiters pick, it completely messes up the rest of the draft, not in a bad way for the Raptors though. I still have this sinking feeling that Austin Rivers complimented his way into jumping 2-4 spots and the Raptors settle.
8:02 – Great man cry, kinda got me misty.
8:03 – Don’t interview children, it’s cruel, and they are totally unprofessional. Big pick coming up, this sets the table for GS, still think it goes Lillard then Drummond. Love how they point out how unbe,ievably stupid the Nets are, that trade looks straight up dumb.
8:05 – Portland takes a shoot first point guard from a little known conference, who’s team was unable to even qualifty for the tourney. Did I mention he’s a junior, or that he played terribly anytime he had a shot at a team in the Top 50? Say hello to Jerryd Bayless meets Mike James. So happy he’s not a Raptor.
8:08 – I’m kind of afraid now, I see Austin Rivers in our future.
8:10 – Again, Dion Waiters at 4? Would we have even been happy with him at 8?
8:11 – Harrison’s gone, this was completely expected, and I’m sure he’ll do well. Would have been nice if he fell, but GS needed a SF. Tight butthole time, Raps up next.
8:13 – Please Jeremy Lamb or Andre Drummond. Please…
8:14 – THEY DO THIS EVERY YEAR, EVERY YEAR!!!!!!!!!!! Commercials during the Raptors pick infuriate me, and I swear it happens every year. EVERY YEAR!!!!!!!! By the way, never play poker, never drink coca cola, and that ultra beer is all kinds of horrible. Oxford learning touched me as a child.
8:16 – We’re back. I’m afraid. Please no Rivers. Please.
8:17 – You have got to be kidding me? Why? Why? I don’t like basketball anymore. If this isn’t a trade (which I can’t see it being) Bryan should get fired. Scratch that, fire the entire front office. I’m serious, this is ridiculous. Guess I’m a Swansea City fan now. Diary over.

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