Training camp is still 18 days away, and I feel terrible that Arse has been left to man the ship entirely for the summer months, so I felt the urge to provide some content. Of course, with Arse having already covered the Dominic McGuire signing (my take: I love it, and have always inexplicably been a big McGuire fan, possibly because his “no offense, all defense, wing that thinks he’s a big” style of play is similar to mine), there isn’t much left to write about that would have any journalistic value whatsoever.

So…that brings us to today’s piece: a random collection of fun Raptors’ swag on the internet.

Ridiculous 14K Gold Raptors Logo Charm
Price: $331.46 US
Link
For whatever reason, a gold Raptors charm exists. Who would pay upwards of 300 bucks for such a thing, I’m not sure, but if that person is you, you’re welcome.

Obscenely Priced Game-Worn Alvin Robertson Jersey
Price: $859.99 US
Link
Alvin Robertson played 77 games for the Raptors in 1995-96, and apparently wore this jersey. And for nearly a grand, it can be yours!

Awesome 5’x8’ Raptors Rug
Price: $270.00 US
Link
Gotta be honest, if I had a house with hardwood floor rather than a carpeted apartment, I’d think about it…although I doubt it’s any nicer than the 2’x4’ blanket I got for free one time for filling out an MBNA form with fake info.

18”x18” Raptors Carpet Tiles
Price: $240.00 US (20 tiles)
Link
Maybe this is more practical for some, trading one giant carpet for smaller carpet tiles. Hey, at least they don’t give these out for free…and you can arrange the 20 tiles however you like!

Autographed Game-Worn Jalen Rose Sneakers
Price: $199.99 US
Link
Okay, if these are legit, it’s a pretty awesome buy. The seller says they were bought from the Raptors and come with a Certificate of Authenticity, though it’d probably be worthwhile to send Jalen the pic and ask him personally @JalenRose.

1996 Damon Stoudamire Figure
Price: $4.99 US
Link
When you see “$5” and “free shipping” in the same sale, it’s almost always a must-buy. This tiny little Damon figure, while not resembling him at all, could be a nice addition to any bobblehead/memorabilia shelf.

Raptors “NBA Champion” T-Shirt
Price: $14.99 US
Link
No, it’s not what I thought – I thought maybe someone had made a Raptors’ shirt celebrating a Championship in advance one season, only to be burned one of the many times the team has been so close to the Larry O’Brien trophy. Instead, it’s a crappy shirt from the brand Champion. Do not buy.

Raptors Lighted Wine Bottle
Price: $20.00 US
Link
I guess the logic here is that if you cheer for the Raptors, you’re probably a drinker. Safe bet. Not sure how this would look in a grown-up’s house, but any in the college/Uni crowd may appreciate it.

Raptors’ Cornucopia of Swag
Price: $600.00 CND
Link
This guy isn’t playing around! If you have $600 lying around, he has a video showing you all of the awesome and ridiculous Raptors’ gear he’s selling as one giant package. The only thing missing is the giant rock from the locker room.

Lovely Raptors Chain/Watch
Price: $59.95 US
Link
Does your significant other like bad jewellery, the Raptors, and telling time? Then this really strange Raptors’ heart-shaped watch on a chain is for you, or him/her. If you would like to buy me this as a thank you for my RR contributions, DM me on Twitter for my home address.

Big-Ass Rock
Price: $75.98 CND
Link
Now you too can pound the rock along with the Raptors, thanks to Home Depot! Prices of actual giant rocks, as well as shipping concerns, probably make that unrealistic for most of us, so join Casey & Co by pounding this 19”x29”x30” plastic resin replica!

Alright…so there’s those. Thank you for letting me waste your time. Check back regularly over the next few weeks in advance of training camp, though, as there are some potential pieces coming your way – more on line-up optimization, scheduling notes, and Hollinger’s annual player predictions and notes among them.

And as always, follow me on Twitter @BlakeMurphyODC.

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