This is the inaugural edition of “From the bar…” with your host drizz. Just a little info about myself: I like to drink a lot of beer and watch Raptor games. I will try to contribute regularly in my drunken state in the format of three points about the Raptors or whatever I happen to think about while drinking beers and writing this. The column will loosely take on a format of three points kind of about the Raptors and one note about the league.

  1. The three points will be written using Roman numerals because Roman numerals are classy, son.
  2. I just want to make it clear that I in no way advocate excessive drinking or binge drinking or drinking beer really fast so you get drunk faster. Myself I am I big fan of drinking beer. I enjoy all kinds of beers, especially Guinness or anything that is cold at the time. I encourage everyone to drink as much as possible at all times, this includes children and women and the elderly.
  3. I should make a point about the Raptors seeing as this is a Raptors fan site i suppose. I would like to talk about Andrea Bargnani and what a huge fan I am of him. In absolute fact, he is my favorite player of all time. Did you see that one photo shoot he had with that model? Was that girl his girlfriend or was he just posing? I think it was supposed to be his girlfriend, and if so, or not, I am sure he tapped that. I think this guy gets a lot of women, despite his obvious and extremely showcased fact that he is a heavy mouth-breather and caveman look alike. Actually I don’t like Bargnani much but you have to admit that he is kind of awesome putting in less than maximum effort and getting paid a lot of money and getting premium pussy.

League Note: Van Gundys are awesome. You can and probably will accuse me of severe Van Gundyism of which I could care less. Stan Van Gundy seemed to receive the best of the genes in the family and was the best coach of the brothers that coached in the league. Jeff Van Gundy, who got the short end of the chromosonal stick, is a guy who I respect not only as a leg grabber, but as a broadcaster who is not afraid to speak his mind, no matter how dumb he makes himself look. I have a personal theory that there is an even smaller, uglier, weirder, banjo-playing Van Gundy that is being sheltered from the public eye and not being allowed to coach in the NBA. I think that whatever cellar, bunker or attic they are keeping him chained up in, that he should be unleashed upon the world and allowed to coach the Brooklyn Nets. Hey, that’s just me.

P.S. Please don’t drink and drive. Take the subway home even if it doesn’t go near where ever you live.

  • BlakeMurphy

    What is your stance on butt-chugging to get drunk faster?

    • pran

      bargs can use an alcohol drenched tampon.

  • Fsdfk

    wtf ^^^^ ??!?!?!?!?!?

    • BlakeMurphy

      There was an instance at some U.S. frat a few weeks back of students getting really sick from funneling booze into their anus (so it hits your system quickly…same idea as suppository medicine). Anyway, seems up his alley.

      • arsenalist

        I can confirm that this doesn’t work.

      • Alb Perjet
        • BlakeMurphy

          If I’ve accomplished nothing else as a writer, I can at least be proud of the fact that I made someone search “butt chugging” on youtube.

          • CJT

            Time to call it a career.  Mission accomplished.

            • Alb Perjet


          • Alb Perjet

            Don’t want to burst your bubble… but I got it from here:

  • FAQ

    Alcohol rots your brain… Beer ruins your kidneys.. and makes you prematurely impotent.  Drink up.

  • Hussalar


  • sitnonDfence

    Cant believe its actually come to this… this site deteriorates rapidly by the day…just when i thought that the absolutely bi-polar “fan” base we have was annoying now we get alcohol infused “literature”. Good work RR.

    • Jamshid

      I miss the days of the weekly roundtable podcasts. 
      PHD Steves’ column and his podcast interviewing other writers from different team fan websites. 
      Altraps write up and …

      There was so much excitement and so many good writers and articles and … The ONLY one left now is Arsenalist !!

      • Steve

        PhD Steve did a good job in his time here..his podcasts were entertaining…but he got tired of the fighting on these forums and petty insults by Nilanka and others :) who he told to stop but did not listen…

      • BlakeMurphy

        Thank you, thank you, you’re far too kind.

    • p00ka

      Pretty pathetic, and sad, eh. It’s a damn basketball site, populated by many little kiddies, and it’s down to encouraging heavy drinking, and even advocating imbibing in illegal drugs. But it’s “funny”, as it appears most see it. Sick.

      • arsenalist

        Let’s see:

        – You get the pre-game posts
        – You get the immediate post-game reaction with stats and analysis
        – You get the post-game as well
        – You get the morning links
        – You get the weekly podcast
        – You get the stats and stuff via Blake
        – You get the forums, which require registration and have more controlled content
        – You get the sidebar with Raptor content everywhere on the web
        – You get the Twitter in-game commentary, Tumblr/Facebook updates
        – And once in a while you throw up a post like this to even things out

        I don’t know, man, it sounds like we’re doing enough “basketball stuff” to have a post like this go up once in a while.  Besides, the team’s 3-11 dude, I think you need this!

        • lloyd

          I have a feeling pOOka is sitting on a priests lap right now, giving every detail of this Sick forum so they can report it to the Archdiocese.  (pOOka, will make it worth his while and tell the story in three parts)

        • p00ka

          Dude, my post isn’t criticizing the on-going efforts of the writers here. Despite my disagreement with some of what I see as slanted analysis, I do appreciate the efforts.

          I’m posting in direct response to this post by “drizz”. Look, I’m no saint, have imbibed in more than my share, and have as twisted a sense of humour as just about anybody,,,, in the right crowd. The key is “in the right crowd”, as in knowing where you are.

          If I’m sitting around a table at a bar, with adults, I can not only enjoy, but participate in bent jokes, but this is a public forum with many young (it’s obvious) people coming here, and if I’m the parent of a 12 year old who I’ve been letting come here to converse about his/her fav team, and I see this post, I’m contacting ESPN and kicking up one hell of a stink over the lack of responsibility. I’m no prude, but this kind of stuff doesn’t belong here, imo. Perhaps you’ll see different when you have kids of your own.

        • Jamshid

          Dude, we are very thankful. You are doing an amazing job with the site and your writing is fun to read but lets face it, the rest of the cast here is no where close to your level anymore. Before, we had more balance writers and some of your discussions on those PodCasts were amazing.
          Anyway, Thanks for the hard work Pal.

          • Lorenzo

             OOooOOoOoo Look at me! Im too good for everybody!

        • Hound

          Hey, I find this article a healthy sidebar to the regular, ” Bargs sucks”, “no he doesn’t” “does too faggot” “your a racist asshole” “Fuck you fanboy” intelligent conversation that goes on in these forums.

          Well done drunk boy. I lift my glass to you!

          • Lorenzo


        • BadDinosaur

           I totally second p00ka. I mean you can deliver pornographic material in a very nice packaging, with awesome customer service lots of updates and goodies. It still remains porn! So it’s nothing for kids, no matter how much effort you put into it. This is a fan-page/forum and fans come in all ages. You should know better. And yes, ESPN might just drop you over a post like this!

          On a personal note: I think there is a difference between funny and downright stupid, flat jokes that don’t require an IQ over 60.

      • .40 Cal Flakes

        How about we jus chill out a little bit. Take the article with a grain of salt my dude. With the way things are going with the raps these days we can use some light-heartedness. 


      • pran

        elite level troll detected. You don’t give a shit about the kids, stop trying to piss people off.

    • c_bcm

      Fully agree. This is bad. Hard to criticize the team when these are your standards. I’d much rather read and contribute to a more mature discussion of the teams successes and failures. But I suppose its easy enough for me to ignore these posts whenever they are published.

      • lloyd

        yet, you just couldn’t walk away even if you tried, …but alas, there is a solution, you can always make a post about walking away and ignoring such a post next time.

        Anyway, its nice to not take this team so seriously and poke a little fun at the person that has to write the article.   I think the setting of the bar, is quite appropriate and witty.  

  • monocled gentleman-scholar

    I, for one, heartily support this venture! I toast with a glass of sherry to your maiden voyage, sir!

  • voy

    +1s all over the place. for use of the phrase “premium pussy”.  for the van gundy leg grab reference. for use of the word “chromosonal”. 

    looking forward to more articles, drizz. well done.

  • lloyd

    What kind of pills?   I once did my gf birth control pills and they made me feel crabby and gave me an urge to bake a pie.   I than started crying for no reason, and ate a bucket of ice-cream to make myself feel better. 

    • Nilanka15


  • cesco

    I have been laughing for the past 5 minutes and I can’t stop . Some humor was needed , great article , great comments , thank you .

  • .40 Cal Flakes

    I would like to formally lodge a complaint…my image and likeness in the above photo was used without my consent or approval. This is simply unacceptable. I will not stand for this.
    Please issue a formal apology and acknowledgement at once to avoid litigation in this matter.
    .40 Cal Flakes

  • Holycraptors

    This is excellent. RR needs a good balance of satire and analysis, if for no other reason than simply because if you spent your time analyzing the Raptors with no sense of humour, you would quickly slip into severe and insurmountable depression.

  • Statement

    The Raptors are a better team than Washington…..ya, I said it.

    • what the

      it depends if you are using the nilanka EYE TEST

  • RapthoseLeafs

    After the past few games … all soooo close … and all so lost, it’s nice to bring a moment of absurdity to the crowd.
    Now we just need to add a fictional (or is it non-fictional) story of the NBA/Raptor officiating conspiracy. Anything to take away the pain, with how Raps have been f*@ked over.  


  • enlightenment

    Id prefer if you wrote your articles stoned, rather than drunk.

    Creativity or Vulgarity?

  • lloyd

    Since most of the posters are drunk anyway, it probably helps with the clarity.

  • .40 Cal Flakes

    This shit was funny. Haters gonna hate. Keep ’em coming Drizz.


  • Statement

    Time to play, match that quote:

    “Okay, it’s good to score a lot of points. But first of all, I really need to work on defence,”

    Who said this, was it

    a) Andrea Bargnani
    b) JV
    c) Peter McKay



    • arsenalist


      • Statement

        Seriously though arse,

        Kudos to you for the site man, you guys do a great job. 

        We are ALL in this together.  We have suffered for basically 17+ years.

        I’m so hard up, I think I’ll cream my pants if the Raptors ever win a first round playoff.

        If they make the playoffs that definitely 4 hr wood.

  • Thetruth

    This column is garbage. Absolute trash and drizz is fucking annoying.

    • Lorenzo

       Hey, is this you?

      • monocled gentleman-scholar

        Nay, it is me! At your service!

    • Tee

      you should ask for your money back

  • TheR3dMenace

    I nominate drizz for RR live blogger.

  • Senthilchandr

    I am not impressed with “From the bar” as it’s having strong language and sounds offensive to many readers. If i understand correctly, the idea of the forum is to convey the perspective of a fan from the bar. So, My suggestion is to retain the concept intact and write in a language considering the media standards and social responsibilities. e.g. No media publish the news of a porn star in abusive language. The news / content would be edited to fit the readers. Similar approach in RR would be much appreciated.

  • Retardshatebargs

    …whats saddening for me is that the fan base isnt united…..isnt that what good fans do?….when we first got the team for many years it was loyal fan support.when i went to raptor games it was us against them….now its these little faggots that only cheer for the players they like and the vibe at the game is shit……the players arent robots.they feel this shit…now you got some lil indian kid tweeting to jose and bargs that euros suck and we need better euros?…..what if i message demar we have shit black players and that hes one of them and we need better black ballers…..its insane…..jose is retweeting some of this vile shit…..its fucking sad….makes me embarrassed that these people live in canada and claim to be canadian.

    • Bboca

      The fanbase is united in their desire for the team to do well. The problem is the Raptors losing ways give cause for analysis into why they aren’t winning. The different opinions of the frustrated fans just mean they care. Winning is the only thing that will bring the different camps closer.

  • Retardshatebargs

    …ive personally messaged jose and bargs and apologized for a minority of dipshits.