From The Bar… – Inaugural Edition

There’s a Raptors game playing at a bar, and there’s a man watching it. He may or may not be completely wasted, but he probably is. This is that man.

This is the inaugural edition of “From the bar…” with your host drizz. Just a little info about myself: I like to drink a lot of beer and watch Raptor games. I will try to contribute regularly in my drunken state in the format of three points about the Raptors or whatever I happen to think about while drinking beers and writing this. The column will loosely take on a format of three points kind of about the Raptors and one note about the league.

  1. The three points will be written using Roman numerals because Roman numerals are classy, son.
  2. I just want to make it clear that I in no way advocate excessive drinking or binge drinking or drinking beer really fast so you get drunk faster. Myself I am I big fan of drinking beer. I enjoy all kinds of beers, especially Guinness or anything that is cold at the time. I encourage everyone to drink as much as possible at all times, this includes children and women and the elderly.
  3. I should make a point about the Raptors seeing as this is a Raptors fan site i suppose. I would like to talk about Andrea Bargnani and what a huge fan I am of him. In absolute fact, he is my favorite player of all time. Did you see that one photo shoot he had with that model? Was that girl his girlfriend or was he just posing? I think it was supposed to be his girlfriend, and if so, or not, I am sure he tapped that. I think this guy gets a lot of women, despite his obvious and extremely showcased fact that he is a heavy mouth-breather and caveman look alike. Actually I don’t like Bargnani much but you have to admit that he is kind of awesome putting in less than maximum effort and getting paid a lot of money and getting premium pussy.

League Note: Van Gundys are awesome. You can and probably will accuse me of severe Van Gundyism of which I could care less. Stan Van Gundy seemed to receive the best of the genes in the family and was the best coach of the brothers that coached in the league. Jeff Van Gundy, who got the short end of the chromosonal stick, is a guy who I respect not only as a leg grabber, but as a broadcaster who is not afraid to speak his mind, no matter how dumb he makes himself look. I have a personal theory that there is an even smaller, uglier, weirder, banjo-playing Van Gundy that is being sheltered from the public eye and not being allowed to coach in the NBA. I think that whatever cellar, bunker or attic they are keeping him chained up in, that he should be unleashed upon the world and allowed to coach the Brooklyn Nets. Hey, that’s just me.

P.S. Please don’t drink and drive. Take the subway home even if it doesn’t go near where ever you live.

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