As the years of heavy drinking rage on, I find myself avoiding draft beer at questionable and even answerable establishments, mostly because of the increasingly undesirable hangover-feeling that accompanies draft beer (it’s older, you young ‘uns will know what I mean soon). Draft beer is not pasteurized before it goes into kegs, which gives it a great drinkablility but also leaves it open for bacteria and Ebola to call it home… especially at bars that do not clean their beer lines regularly.

Arguably, there is a point to be made here about not drinking draft beer which ties in to the Raptors and their recent drafts. Somewhere. I forgot what that point was, other than that it had to do with Terrence Ross, and that sometimes it is OK to sit around the bar drinking a bottle of Bud and letting other people be your entertainment.

  1. I was planning to be at the RR tournament at the ACC, but Bieber made all that impossible.  Before Monday, my life had never before been directly effected by this little excuse for a human being.  Beiber, as I emailed Zarar about, my disdain for you has reached a new level. I won’t forget this you little douche. I hope you fall into a volcano and the volcano erupts dumping you into a tornado.
  2. The summer already reminds me of how good drinking and baseball go together. The slow, unassuming speed of the game is perfect for downing beers, taking a leak, and getting another beer. You can have a full BBQ session going and keep up with the game play for play.  It is harder with basketball, because shit happens so quickly in beautiful sequences of synergy between players leading to amazing plays and runs of domination. The outlook of the game can be changed within seconds. The same can be true for other sports, but nothing matches the split-second action of basketball that can lead to a change of momentum that is easily missed if you have broken the seal and need to piss every 15 minutes.Have you ever talked to people who are die-hard hockey fans, hate basketball and the Raptors, and love the Leafs?  Do they ever say how much they hate basketball and can’t see what the point is of a 48-minute game if the game “always comes down to the last 20 seconds”?  What is your answer to that load of ridiculous ignorant BS? Please let me know in the comments some good comebacks or justifications for this ignorance.  Also any other stupid questions that basketball haters love to repeat at every opportunity they can?
  3. Relax about Buycks. I think some people are in double-headed point guard hangover. Lowry is not perfect but he is a good point guard and most of all, he’s not Bieber.

League Note: I found a way to recycle beer bottle caps. Take any aluminium can, cut that shit so you can put all your caps in it, then bend it so the caps can’t fall out. If you put beer caps in regular recycling, they will probably be screened out because of small size and be sent to landfill.

Drink up.

[Related: From The Bar Archives]

  • Puffer

    “can’t see what the point is of a 48-minute game if the game ‘always comes down to the last 20 seconds’?

    Unlike hockey where the only two goals were scored in the first period. And then the whole game consisted of two teams icing the puck.

    • Marz

      I’d hit a little closer to home. You can talk about how leafs games are always decided in the last 60 seconds. Or, you could be a dick, and talk about Game 7 in Boston… depends on how much you want to be a jerk :)

  • Bendit

    Dear Declan, did you write this after a draught swilling session? Well done old boy.

    ps…couldn’t tell whether Biebs had a johnson though

  • jake_voshkul

    My favorite is when hockey fans say basketball isn’t a physical sport…I usually ask them if they’ve played the game and the answer is usually ‘no’, and those who say ‘yes’ sucked at it and gave up quickly. Their concept of physical is hits and fighting, not the grind.

    Also, respect to soccer…that can get pretty physical too. Very underrated support in terms of strength needed.

  • thead

    just gave me a great idea for a script. “Vulcanado”

  • Nilanka15

    I usually just remind the puck-heads how often we see NHL games decided in OT or shootout.

  • Johnny B

    I think the best argument against the “last 20 seconds thing” is simply by explaining that as a basketball fan, you enjoy the game. More specifically, you enjoy the game as a story. Why read a whole novel when the main character dies in the final 10 pages? Why watch a Die Hard when you only need to watch the end to know that McLean kills the bad guy.

    When I think of game 7 Raps vs Philly 2001, I don’t just remember Carter’s missed fade away over Tyrone Hill in the dying seconds, I also remember Charles Oakley’s blown, wide open layup halfway through the game (something Charles Oakley dick-huggers like Doug Smith probably never even noticed at the time). The game is a story, and for me a close game is a riveting one. The last 20 seconds are simply the conclusion.

    Bottom line, if someone makes that silly “last 20 seconds” argument, then they’re simply not a bball fan. They can go and stick their own dick up their own ass.

  • K.J.P

    Solid League point. Will do.

  • Miekenstien

    As far as I’m concerned Guinness only comes in draft form.

    one more thing Thead just stick with

    Vulnado

  • Polished

    Love Marz’s answer – but my answer is Basketball’s more about momentum.
    I prefer drinking more with basketball than hockey. More exciting than baseball & not as ‘blink-and-you-miss-it’ as hockey.

  • Raptoronto

    Basketball never finishes 0 – 0

  • ddfrnk

    Awesome recycling tip, thanks!