Lonely this Valentines’ Day? Fret not, the NBA’s set of gimmicky events are here to keep you company. That’s the same as love and companionship, right?

UPDATE (8:54 PM)

Game starts in approximately 10 minutes. In the meantime, do yourself a favor and watch the last few seconds of the Celeb Game. US Secretary of Education Arne Duncan is channeling his inner Kevin Durant.

No child left behind indeed. Arne “Tim” Duncan finished the game with 20 points, 11 rebounds, 6 assists and 2 steals. Fan voting screwed up (surprise surprise) and voted Kevin Hart for MVP, but Hart rightfully conceded the award to Duncan.

UPDATE (9:07 PM): Tonight’s Rosters


Team Hill’s team is much deeper than Weber’s, and I’m pretty confident that they’ll win this game. Lillard won’t play that many minutes, but neither will AD23. Hill’s team has more shooting, more athleticism and better ball-handling. Predictions: Hill’s team wins 154-130, Beal wins MVP after hitting like 2000 three pointers.

UPDATE (9:22 PM)

Sweet start for Jonas. He picks up a foul on Davis cutting backdoor and then gives up the ball after trying his patented “Jonas” move in the post. Also, the Celtics’ doo-doo duo of Olynyk and Sullinger have a combined 9 early points, which is LOL.

UPDATE (9:23 PM)

Drummond is a beast. Jonas…not so much. Jonas misses an alley-oop, Drummond gets the rebound and dunks it home.

UPDATE (9:26 PM)

Sweet, another missed alley-oop for Jonas. Crappy pass by Lillard. I think I’m firmly in the #TeamDrummond camp.

UPDATE (9:30 PM)

Three straight put-back dunks for Drummond! He’s got 16 points and 7 rebounds in 7 minutes. This Valentines’ Day, I think I’m in love.

UPDATE (9:32 PM)

Good lord! Jonas tries to pull the hook on Davis, and he gets absolutely demolished by Davis’ freaky length. Wow. That was embarrassing. Someone is going to gif that, and I’m going to link that here so it can haunt your nightmares as well.


UPDATE (9:35 PM)

UPDATE (9:39 PM)

Grant Hill is made for television. He’s articulate, insightful and composed. Also, this game kinda sucks. I always forget that. Webber’s team leads 47-46 with 6 min left in the first half.

UPDATE (9:44 PM)

Great possession for Waiters. He calls for a clear-out, dribbles for 5 seconds, takes a step inside the three-point line an launches a long contested jumper. It clanks off the back of the rim. Gee, I wonder why Kyrie Irving hates him?

UPDATE (9:50 PM)

This has been a pretty awful game thus far. As per usual, defense is being avoided like the plague, but the players aren’t even making up for it by pulling out fancy dunks or cool cross-overs. It’s just lots of layups and ill-advised threes.

Basically, it’s like watching the Sixers play the Lakers.

UPDATE (9:55 PM)

The first half is finally over. Team Hill leads 67-66 over Team Webber after 20 minutes of play. Drummond leads all scorers with 17 points and 11 rebounds. Conversely, Jonas has 0 points and 2 rebounds. Since this game is a snooze fest, let’s re-open that debate. Who you got — Jonas or Drummond? I’m firmly #TeamDrummond

Here’s some food for thought: Sam Holako pointed out that instead of Jonas and Ross, we could potentially have Drummond and Harden (rumored to be offered for Jonas) instead. I don’t know about you, but I’d definitely rather have the next Dwight Howard and a rich man’s Manu Ginboili, but that’s just me. Once again, thank you Bryan Colangelo!

UPDATE (10:08 PM)

The “Inside the NBA” crew is more entertaining than all but four teams in the Eastern Conference (Heat, Pacers, Raptors, Knicks). Also, look how dapper Jonas looks in this photo:

UPDATE (10:16 PM)

Great move by the New Orleans game ops playing “How we Do” by The Game (ft. 50 Cent) on the organ. G-Unit was Wu-Tang after the Wu-Tang, and I’ll defend 50/Yayo/Lloyd Banks/The Game to the end of time.

Oh, and Jonas threw down a dunk. Ho-hum. Second half underway.

UPDATE (10:21 PM)

Alright this game is boring, so let’s talk about how great mid-2000’s hip-hop was.

There was 50 Cent and G-Unit. You had Eminem and the Detroit scene (whaddup D-12). There was the Nikki Minaj before Nikki Minaj (Missy Elliot). There was the whole ATL/dirty south scene with Ludacris, Usher, Chingy, and OutKast. Jay-Z did his thing and pulled Kanye out of the wilderness. Snoop Dogg hung his blue flag on the left-side (and only on the left side because that’s the crip side) and Dr. Dre reminded us not to forget him.

The best part about mid-2000’s hip-hop was that it was proud and it was true. Jay-Z and Kanye West weren’t trying to create empathy for their identity crises with wealth. Drake wasn’t around to rap/sing about his emotions. Everyone was just proud of where they came from, and they made no apologies for their message.

G-Unit made no qualms over rapping about being ostentatiously wealthy. The ATL songs were always steeped in equal parts crunk, grillz and pimp juice. The West Coast rappers stayed OG and proud. Detroit’s rappers stuck to its humble roots and underdog attitude. No one tried to wow you, and no one cared for your opinion. They just rapped about whatever, however, and I miss that.

Take me back! *puts soapbox away*

And this game sucks. Team Hill lead 101-99 with 8:40 left. Jonas made two wide open dunks. Yawn.

UPDATE (10:40 PM)

A shootout has broken out between THJr and Dion Waiters. They’re going mano-e-mano with clearouts and three-pointers. Waiters has the last 14 points for Team Hill. Kevin Durant and James Harden are loving it on the sidelines.

UPDATE (10:43 PM)

I don’t understand that Ciroq commercial. Why is P. Diddy hitting up Vegas with Phil Leotardo from The Sopranos?

UPDATE (10:45 PM)

Mason and Miles Plumlee are taking over this game. I’m totally cool with that. They’re the yin to the Zeller brothers’ yang.

UPDATE (10:50 PM)

Tonight, and only for tonight, Waiters and THJr are Bird and Magic. This is insane. They’re dropping bombs from everywhere on the court. Waiters just knocked down back-to-back threes.

Hardaway Jr has 34 points and 7 threes. Waiters has 31 on 14 field goal attempts. Wow.

UPDATE (10:53 PM)

Mason Plumlee just ranked Drummond across the face on a dunk attempt. Not cool, man. Not cool. Drummond has 27 points and 24 rebounds.

UPDATE (10:55 PM)

Two point game! Team Hill is up 132-130 with 33 seconds left. Waiters just tried to clothesline THJr on a closeout. This is getting fun. Also, Drummond just grabbed his 25th rebound. How is that even possible?

UPDATE (10:58 PM)

Intentional fouling has broken out, which is kinda cruel. Barnes sinks two FTs to give HIll’s team a five-point lead. Trey (Kerby) Burke drives coast-to-coast for an uncontested layup. Beal is intentionally fouled and makes two. Team Hill up 139-134 with 15 seconds left.

UPDATE (11:02 PM)

Beautiful. The game ends with Giannis Alphabet Hands throwing down a two-handed windmill dunk. Team Hill wins 142-136 over Team Webber. Drummond had 30 points and 25 rebounds. Waiters scored 31 points on 14 points and somehow dropped 7 dimes (which means he willingly passed the ball seven times). THJr led all scorers with 36 points for Team Webber’s squad.

UPDATE (11:07 PM)

Drummond wins MVP! The  guy from BBVA Compass presenting the award just dropped the MVP Trophy and broke it. Oh my god. I’m dying right now. Forget what I said earlier. The THJ vs Waiters showdown and the trophy drop totally made up for it.

Here’s the gif, courtesy of /r/NBA superstar “ebmurphy” (I wonder who that could be)

Jonas finished with 4 points in 19 totally unspectacular minutes. A fast paced pick-up game is not suited for him, and he looked wholly disinterested in the whole endeavor.

Alright I’m out. This live-blog probably wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had.

  • Mitchy

    so, this isn’t going particularly well for Val…

    • DDayLewis

      Yeah…this is ugly


    Dont think we can fit a sheet of paper under Jonas’ feet when he jumps . this game isnt for him.

  • Michel G

    JV’s level of disinterest is remarkable. The lack of defense makes the amount of drooling over Drummond’s play irrelevant. JV should have declined the invitation and taken a little vacation somewhere.

    • DDayLewis

      I’m pretty sure he’d rather be on vacation with his wife (look at the photo above)


    why are you guys hating on Jonas smh…. its a damn pickup game. what place is Drummonds team again? #fakefans

    • DDayLewis

      Not hating on Jonas, man. He’s playing like shit in a shitty pick-up game. Chill out.

    • Mitchy

      its not hating. he just seems disinterested. i wouldnt try in this game either if i were picked.

  • peter_7.701

    It was actually kind of entertaining how JV didn’t give a shit lol

  • mike, prague

    Andre Drummond … comes to show where 100% athleticism can take you …

    • ItsAboutFun

      yeah, in a show boat game, where everybody goes gaga over a guy who played like the only time he noticed teammates was when they passed to him. Anybody notice him tap a sure put back out of JV’s hands, get the subsequent RB and put back himself? His energy and athleticism was impressive until it became a ridiculous show of chasing the MVP, his half time admitted goal. Jonas didn’t take it all seriously, expended little energy, and that’s all good for the Raptors who, as a TEAM, are going to the playoffs, while Drummond goes to the playground to impress the kids, ha.

      • truth be told

        So based on this one season and the Raps going to the playoffs JV’s got the one up on Drummond?lol

        It’s an insignificant exhibition game. Trying to put on a show for the fans is a bad thing now? Ok.

        Anxious to see how these 2 develop over the next 3-5 years.

        • ItsAboutFun

          Not saying anything about JV being up on Drummond, but was responding to the above comment about “where 100% athleticism can take you”. Where is Drummond’s numbers taking his team? Nowhere.

          I am implying that JV’s TEAM basketball is more advantageous to his team, than Drummond’s “fantastic” season of glorified Reggie Evans stat stuffing for a losing team. Aside from his very poor defense, he’s a rebounding beast that can score only within dunking distance from the hoop, for a losing team, whose only wins against quality opponents this year are when he sits for more than half the game. Telling? When he plays backup minutes, the team can compete against some of the best. When he plays starter minutes, he puts up big numbers and his team loses. hmmmmm,

          But hey, he put’s up great numbers against bottom feeders with no opposition for him, or depleted teams,,,,,, or all star teams when he’s the only one on the floor that has a “I’m shooting for MVP” team blinders on. If last night’s game is an example of his mind, he’ll forever put up great rebounding and put back numbers for losing teams, while coaches lose their jobs over failing to get him to see anybody but himself on the floor. If he’s a good kid, I hope he gets it some day, but for now, I’ll not be impressed by individual numbers for a team that loses, but it seems plays better the less he’s on the floor.

  • mike, prague

    Anyways this is a game for athletic dudes, other-wise yout either old or boring.

  • arsenalist

    Where’s the gif of the trophy drop?

  • RealRaptorFan

    You guys are ALL clown shoes for dissing and dismissing Jonas, over ONE stupid, meaningless, non-Raptor benefiting game. What would his “great game” bring back to the Raptors? What does he really NEED out of this game? NOTHING!!! You guys are some of the wackest fans I’ve ever seen on ANY platform. You guys don’t deserve an NBA team because of y’all BACKWARDS thinking (wanting the team to tank for UNPROVEN players). Now, Jonas is shit because of one game? The dude bangs, night in and night out, with every PF and C in the league and is probably tired. FUCK Drummond!!! Where was he when we played them, last? Exactly. The fakest, weakest, wackest fans in the NBA. FOH!!!!

    • DDayLewis

      Lol wow someone overreacted. Chill out man, everyone here still loves Jonas and nobody is writing him off because of a meaningless exhibition.

      • ItsAboutFun

        ummm, you’re the one who strongly suggested “re-opening the debate”, choosing Drummond, over a “meaningless exhibition”, lol. Do you want a debate or not? Some people think it’s ridiculous to make any kind of judgement of players from such frivolous “game”, especially when being so impressed by the one guy on the court who decided that hero ball MVP was his goal, playing like the only teammates he had were those that passed to him.

        • DDayLewis

          Read the article again. I’m not suggesting that we should “re-open the debate” between Drummond and JV because of one stupid roookie/soph game, nor did I ever slander JV in any way.

          • ItsAboutFun

            Huh? Didn’t suggest re-opening the debate? Then what is:
            “The first half is finally over. Team Hill leads 67-66 over Team Webber
            after 20 minutes of play. Drummond leads all scorers with 17 points and
            11 rebounds. Conversely, Jonas has 0 points and 2 rebounds. Since this
            game is a snooze fest, let’s re-open that debate. Who you got — Jonas or
            Drummond? I’m firmly #TeamDrummond”

            • DDayLewis

              I’m not suggesting that we should “re-open the debate” between Drummond
              and JV because of one stupid roookie/soph game, nor did I ever slander
              JV in any way.

              • ItsAboutFun


              • Steverino

                But you were: “Since this game is a snooze fest, let’s re-open that debate. Who you got — Jonas or Drummond? I’m firmly #TeamDrummond”

        • truth be told

          With or without this game of course that debate should be open. Look at Drummond’s play so far this year! How could you not still leave it open to discussion?

          And why even get emotional over a comment made regarding an exhibition? Why should it be taken so offensive?

    • ItsAboutFun

      lol, you may be going a little far, but I agree with the general sentiment.