Andray Blatche is meeting the Toronto Raptors in Vegas. The crude plan concocted by Blatche is rather devious. He plans on making his case for inclusion on the Raptors roster to Masai Ujiri in private. As Ujiri has declined all meeting requests, the stealthy Blatche, RR has learned, will be tailing Ujiri from a distance. When the Raptors GM enters the washroom and uses a urinal, immobilizing himself briefly, Blatche’s plan spurs into motion. Sources have learned that Blatche plans to slide into the urinal next to Ujiri, and negotiate a contract somewhere in the range of four cheeseburgers a month to the full mid-level exception.

Stay tuned to RR for this developing story which makes little sense from a basketball-fit, personnel-fit, personality-fit, or just any kind of fit point of view. Blatche, a decent scorer, remains a lazy player who RR has little interest in having on the roster, especially since we already have Patrick Patterson who does more or less the same thing except without looking like he’s bored to death and entirely uninterested.

Blatche is 27 years old and averaged 11.2 points and 5.3 rebounds in 22 minutes with the Brooklyn Nets last season where he made $1.4M. If nothing else, he would come cheap.

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  • ManInTheMiddle
  • ahoang

    Give him the min and make him wear ‘F*k brooklyn’ on his jersey

  • The Raps weren’t able to get a Chinese player (Lin) or an Indian one (Bhullar) so they’ve set their sights on the Filipino market. DeMar was in the Philippines last week too. It all makes sense!

  • jjdynomite

    Masai is bored waiting for the FA studs to make their respective decisions so he’s trying to prank Casey. I’m sure Coach already has Ujiri on speed dial begging him not to sign Blatche. /WhatHappensInVegasBetterStayInVegas

  • Xtremenator1

    I take it the poster doesn’t like Andray Blatche all that much.

  • samuelgbby19

    Blatche is good scorer just lazy

    • Ragnar

      The only thing blatche is good at is being a cunt. No thanks

      • King Jordy


    • tonious35

      Masai: “I hate lazy people”

    • why

      Sounds like a player we used to have who was universally loatehed and we were overjoyed to see leave town

  • samuelgbby19

    Hey how do you change your profile pic my Lil brother changed it and Idk. How to change it back

    • King Jordy


    • GoingBig

      But it is the most manly of kisses

    • arsenalist

      This needs to be the top comment.

      • Feather Ruffler

        Brilliant lol

  • IB

    Maybe Casey can fix him like he did Lowry

    • Trivial

      Lowry said getting married and becoming a father is what changed him, that hasn’t happened for Blatche, yet.


    starting to think broussard is just a tool… getting played straight up… he seems to get weird info and can’t help jumping on the twitter…or i am idiot and masai totally wants andre blatche just to get jv pissed off because he couldn’t do anything against the nets in the playoffs and we totally lost because blatche shut us down…

  • Ragnar

    Fuck Andray Blatche. We don’t want Brooklyn’s trash

    • afrocarter

      Preach, brother.

  • Jensan

    Audrey requires a baby sitter and a psychiatrist

  • tank

    You guys are way to negative on Blatche. At the right price like 3 million a year he is a good value and can do a lot.

    • Rap fan 2

      He’s got skill. With some focus, drive and work ethic he could be a really good player. If Raptors sign him, he’ll only get playing time if he performs up to Coach Casey’s standards. Otherwise, he’ll be bench warming. With all the character players on the Raptor’s roster maybe they will be able to convert him. I don’t see Kyle, Greivis or Tyler Hansbrough willing to put up with any crap. It may even be a good idea to make Tyler and Andray roommates on all game away road trips. You will be assimilated!!

      • Trivial

        If he couldn’t get his act together on a vet team like the Nets, why would he do any better on a young team like the Raptors? As a Net fan said ”He is like Bargnani without the range.”

  • The Red Fury

    I feel like Blatche gave the raptors a few fits last year when he was engaged. He also told Ross to watch what he wishes for. What’s not to like?

    • DC

      Andray Blatche.

    • JunkYardDog

      Blatche is very talented, he has the ability to give anyone fits if he is engaged, problem is that he is very rarely engaged and needs to be surounded by veterans.

  • mike, prague

    Actually I’d love this for two reasons:
    A) A free agent is begging to play for Toronto, something that doesn’t happen much here in the north #WeTheNorth
    B) Andray Blatche is a big body that we are missing. Though a bit of a lazy player he does have a postup-game and a jump-shot from mid-range. Blatche is probably the best big out there that we could get and considering he is coming to us, that means he’ll probably be available cheaper for letting his dream of playing in Toronto come true lol.

    • Rap fan 2

      Yes, totally agree with you. The other thing is that Andray Blatche would add more depth to the team. Having more depth and players that coach Casey can put in to take advantage of in certain match-ups will only add to our success.

  • tonious35

    Does Blatche also like the prostitutes that TO can offer?

    • mike, prague

      That report of him getting involved with prostitutes turn out to be false … just saying …

      Doesn’t mean he doesn’t though lol

  • Jimmy Darden

    Is everybody talking about the same blatche that outplayed Jonas in the playoffs?

    • Feather Ruffler

      Jonas – 10.9 PTS 9.7 REB 1.0 BLK
      Blatche – 5.9 PTS 5.3 REB 0.3 BLK

      Ummm… what…

  • Jimmy Darden

    He didn’t look lazy against us just saying

    • Trivial

      He scored but doesn’t play defense. Why else do you think he was benched in pretty much every 4th quarter and had his playing time given to Plumlee?

      • Antoine Rose

        thats bullshit. Watch game 6 and 7 again .. blatche was the only reason they won. He gave them energy off the bench that we never had. He is a perennial Raptor killer

  • Feather Ruffler

    Andray Blatche is a cancer and a blight on all things pure and amazing about the game. Pardon me for saying it but **** Andray Blatche.

  • Lets Play

    I think he is a spy being sent by the NBA to figure out why the Raptors are soo good and to break us up

  • Truth Teller

    Doesn’t really add anything. Need an upgrade at SF and PF, not a backup big.

    • Feather Ruffler

      Why PF

      • Truth Teller

        Because Amir Johnson is way better as a big (C or PF) that comes off the bench. He would destroy most of the other team’s bigs that come off the bench. He is a subpar PF, though a very good defender.

  • afrocarter


  • igor_katanic

    WTF you guys talking about!? You do not want for cheap a guy that killed us in games 6 and 7? Rather have Psycho-T and Chuck as your second big off the bench? I perfectly OK giving this guy are biannual exception.

  • Guest

    I’m more in favour of this than most of you. And not because he’d like to come here, although “Yah! Somebody likes us!” is nice to say.

    I like it for the size, which we’re lacking, and the potential low cost. Having AB as a 2nd, 3rd or 4th big off the bench depending on the match up would not be bad.

    I haven’t thought this through fully, but if playing a guy like Hibbert, maybe I’d rather have AB sub in than Hayes.

    As for the attacks on his character, a lot of people said similar s#it about Lowry and hey, what do you know, that turned out okay. I think we’re far enough away from the locker room to be totally unable to judge what impact having him would have from a “character” perspective.

  • Nathan

    We never seem to give these guys a chance to grow up. He’s 27 now. Not doing the stuff he did when he was on the Wizards surrounded by a bunch of gun-toting morons. Lowry grew up. So can Blatche. Great, affordable backup for JV.

  • robertparish00

    George Carl welcomes….”Crazy not Lazy”

  • Tamberlyn Richardson

    Hilarious story. The fact Blatche intends to hunt Ujiri down at the urinals may imply his chances: piss poor. Sorry, had to do it.

    Seriously though, with the Raptors amazing team chemistry I would hope Ujiri avoids him like the plague he’d inevitably spread around the Raps locker room.