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Let’s get ready to crummmbbbblllllllllee!

It goes without saying we match up horribly against this team. Truly, they drink our milkshake.   Our defense can’t handle their star, their post players, or their shooters. Our offense can’t handle their team defense. Our fragile psyche can’t handle their stoic discipline. But it IS always fun watching Lebron the Incredible and his merry men… Read more »

Rudy Gay and DeMar DeRozan - teammates soon?

What do the Raptors and Denny’s have in common?

Neither close. Ever. I was at work so I missed the game, but when someone came by my desk to tell me we were down by a point in the final minute, I already knew it. I didn’t need to watch or turn on the radio to know that Kapono was going to swing the… Read more »

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Penetration Leads To The Money Shot

Celtics 94, Raptors 88 Next time I hit up Dave and Buster’s, I’m bringing Ray Allen with me. He might as well have been playing Pop-A-Shot in the first quarter the way he was dropping those daggers. Money.  Of course, when you’re that good and you have Kapono trailing behind you like an eager little… Read more »

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Maceo and Rasho and TJ, oh my!

Check out today’s Opening Tip for tips on dating Stephen Graham. There’s also a new poll about tonight’s game. ******* We’ve all been looking forward to this one. It started so well, two players working in symbiotic harmony. Touted as the best 1-2 punch in the game at their position, it looked to be the… Read more »

Rudy Gay and DeMar DeRozan - teammates soon?

With so much drama in the MLSE…

…It’s kinda hard to be a Raptors fan like me. If the Raptors are my girlfriend, the object of my affection and the one that makes my heart flutter like a pair of folded hole cards, the MLSE is her asshole father (Not mine, John’s a great guy, but you get it.) Even if you… Read more »

Rudy Gay and DeMar DeRozan - teammates soon?

Today, Tomorrow, and The Leap between

Toronto Raptors 89, Charlotte Bobcats 79 An ugly game in an empty stadium on a lazy Sunday adds up to a win against a team we should have beat. No surprises here except for Jamario grabbing 9 boards. We got destroyed yet again by the guard penetration of Augustin and Felton, the former looking particularly… Read more »

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Jamario Moon’s Summer Diary Journal

With a week until the season starts, there’s not much to say that hasn’t been said. We’ve heard ad nauseam about our lack of defence, Sam Mitchell’s Lasik (which, if you ask me, makes him look like the type that sleazes up to drunk chicks at a jazz bar), and, highest on many skeptic’s lists,… Read more »

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The bookmark to end all bookmarks

Congratulations, you savvy navigator of the world wide web. You’ve found us! Welcome to Raptors Republic, the newest Raptor fan site. Also, the most comprehensive, most dedicated, and best smelling. If you believe one thing I say (and anyone who’s read my posts probably doesn’t) it’s this: Raptors Republic is going to rock, and that’s… Read more »

Minutes before this game starts…

   …what is the Chuck Swirsky “Kevin Durant Compliment” over/under? I’m talking voluntary, distinct, and unprovoked fellatio.   I say 7.5. 5 We’ll Hear For Sure  “Leo, this kid is something else. He’s got the complete package.” “No matter where this team ends up, they have got a bright future so long as #35 is around.”… Read more »

33-28, The White Flag Flies High

  I said one thing before the game:  “We have to defend Roger Mason!”  Sam said one thing during the game: “Horns up!” Raps fans said one thing after the game: “I’m getting a little tired of this.” **************  There’s such a positive spin on everything coming out of the franchise these days, everyone north… Read more »