Now that Movember is over, we can finally shave our mustaches off and start gearing up for Pubuary.

1. As I was watching the Raptors-Nuggets game last night and listening to our own Jack, Devlin, Leo and the other dude talk about how the altitude was affecting our team, I not only was amazed at how this was being used as an excuse for the lethargic play in the first half, but I also got to thinking about a few things. We should get a petition going to the league to get the Nuggets moved to a much lower altitude city, such as Norfolk, Nebraska or perhaps Salina, Kansas. The lowest elevation in the US is Death Valley, California. I don’t see a problem in beginning construction on a new arena there as soon as possible. This, of course, would be done only for the Raptors, as other teams in the league have no problem playing there at a high energy level, seeing as they are, you know, athletes. Another idea I came up with is that we can get Gherardini out on a scouting trip to Nepal so we can draft a couple of Sherpas for the game in Denver next season. Lakhpa, Nawang and Dorjee are high on the draft list.
2. Guinness is my favorite malty beverage. If I had to pick a Raptors player that reminds me of Guinness, it would be Kyle Lowry. Not in a racial way or anything though. I would pick him because he has many of the components that make a pint of the dark stuff so good. A thick, frothy head – KL has a strong head on his shoulders and his head is always in the game. Guinness is a full-bodied ale – KL is a player who is not afraid to sacrifice his body to take a charge or a hard hit. Lastly, Guinness is brewed in Ireland, the land of leprechauns. Lowry is from Philly, the land of people who look like chubby leprechauns. So cheers to Kyle Lowry and Guinness. Both awesome.
3. While on the topic of comparing Raptors players to beers, here’s a few more, and feel free to add your own in the comments. Bargs is like Coors light, the ladies love it and it takes a lot of shots to get the job done. Landry Fields reminds me of Colangelo drinking a 40oz of Olde English malt liquor. It seemed like a good idea at the time but now he just has a bad hangover. Nathan Jawai reminds me of Fosters.

No league note this time, beer is getting warm.

1. Dwayne Casey is a good coach. He is trying to instill wisdom and discipline into this ball club but how far can he go if no one is listening?
2. The team needs Andrea. Omg yes I know, there is a bit of praise out there for Bargs. Fact is, the team needs him right now for presence and long range no-arc shots.
3. I thought I saw a player eat popcorn the other day. This might not have happened, but it could have. There is something about the popcorn and pizza infused air that gets pumped in at the ACC that makes me want to eat popcorn. As a scientist, I would like to take an air sample for analysis.

League Note: Mike D’Antoni. Probably the most hyped-up and well paid coach of all time. The possibility of screwing up such an amazing team like the Lakers must have Mikey watering at the mouth. What a shitty coach who’s offensive-minded garbage philosophy only worked once. Next stop, Toronto.

P.S. Don’t drink and drive, that’s a D’Antoni sort of decision. Take the bus home.

This is the inaugural edition of “From the bar…” with your host drizz. Just a little info about myself: I like to drink a lot of beer and watch Raptor games. I will try to contribute regularly in my drunken state in the format of three points about the Raptors or whatever I happen to think about while drinking beers and writing this. The column will loosely take on a format of three points kind of about the Raptors and one note about the league.

1. The three points will be written using Roman numerals because Roman numerals are fucking classy, son.
2. I just want to make it clear that I in no way advocate excessive drinking or binge drinking or drinking beer really fast so you get drunk faster. Myself I am I big fan of drinking beer. I enjoy all kinds of beers, especially Guinness or anything that is cold at the time. I encourage everyone to drink as much as possible at all times, this includes children and women and the elderly. I also am a strong advocate of smoking marijuana and various pills and things.
3. I should make a point about the Raptors seeing as this is a Raptors fan site i suppose. I would like to talk about Andrea Bargnani and what a huge fan I am of him. In absolute fact, he is my favorite player of all time. Did you see that one photo shoot he had with that model? Was that girl his girlfriend or was he just posing? I think it was supposed to be his girlfriend, and if so, or not, I am sure he tapped that. I think this guy gets a lot of women, despite his obvious and extremely showcased fact that he is a heavy mouth-breather and caveman look alike. Actually I don’t like Bargnani much but you have to admit that he is kind of awesome putting in less than maximum effort and getting paid a lot of money and getting premium pussy.

League Note: Van Gundys are awesome. You can and probably will accuse me of severe Van Gundyism of which I could care less. Stan Van Gundy seemed to receive the best of the genes in the family and was the best coach of the brothers that coached in the league. Jeff Van Gundy, who got the short end of the chromosonal stick, is a guy who I respect not only as a leg grabber, but as a broadcaster who is not afraid to speak his mind, no matter how dumb he makes himself look. I have a personal theory that there is an even smaller, uglier, weirder, banjo-playing Van Gundy that is being sheltered from the public eye and not being allowed to coach in the NBA. I think that whatever cellar, bunker or attic they are keeping him chained up in, that he should be unleashed upon the world and allowed to coach the Brooklyn Nets. Hey, that’s just me.

P.S. Please don’t drink and drive. Take the subway home even if it doesn’t go near where ever you live.