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  • #16
    Tight Defense

    I'm... dreaming of a tight... defense
    Just like the Raps I used to know
    When the quick Doug Christie
    And big, tough A.D.
    Had wives tougher than Rasho...

    (Vince's mom was pretty tough too.)

    I'm... dreaming of a tight... defense
    With every night the Raptors blow
    May Bargnani box out tonight
    And may all our defenses be tight

    I'm... dreaming of a tight... defense
    Just like the Raps I used to know
    Back when Oakley's elbows
    Were Dave Semenkos
    For Vince, Trace and Muggsy Bogues

    (It was also important to pay him on time.)

    I'm... dreaming of a tight... defense
    Just like one B. Colangelo
    May our shooters learn how to fiiiight
    And may all our defenses be tight

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    • #17
      To the tune of Christmas Time Is Here

      Marcus Banks is here
      Injuries must be near
      And Calderon sits by the bench
      And Raps fans shed a tear

      Three-pointers in the air
      Turnovers everywhere
      A combo guard that couldn’t hit
      The broad side of a bear

      Banks looks in the air
      Ticket holders everywhere
      He sits when the Raptors win
      But his suit is debonair

      Marcus Banks is here
      He hears a Bronx cheer
      This is what the Raptors call
      The garbage-ist minutes of the year
      This is what the Raptors call
      The garbage-ist minutes of the year

      Comment


      • #18
        To the tune of "Here comes Sanata Clause"

        There stands Rasho N.

        There stands Rasho N., there stands Rasho N.,
        Camping in the key
        Jose and Marco and all his bitches
        Giving up the threes
        Mesh is swishing, fans are crying
        Just an ordinary day
        Realgm has to change their pants
        When Rasho says “Let’s NBA”!


        There goes Rasho N., there goes Rasho N.,
        Jogging to the net
        He’s got the knees of a very old man
        But he’s still our trusty vet
        Watch him move at a snails pace
        He just might leave his feet
        Rasho N. lost his virginity
        While you were at your Mother’s teet!

        There sits Rasho N., there sits Rasho N.,
        Resting on the bench
        He’s so deep and quiet
        His mind’s like an ocean trench
        Heaven knows we’re Rasho’s children
        Our Mother’s could not resist
        Rumour says under his beard
        He has an extra fist!

        There walks Rasho N., there walks Rasho N.,
        Tto the lockeroom
        When Jose hands out gatorade
        Rasho beats him with a broom
        Hungry children will find food
        If we pray to Rasho at night
        Rasho N. wears no left shoes
        Because Rasho is always right!
        Last edited by Kapono; Fri Dec 18, 2009, 05:11 PM.

        Comment


        • #19
          LMAO ... these are so fantastic. Great job guys. I've been laughing my arse off for a couple days now. Not to mention have also started humming some of the tunes.

          Comment


          • #20
            Raptors Wonderland (sung to Winter Wonderland)

            Shot clocks wane, are you listening
            In the lane, refs are whistling
            A beautiful sight
            Raps played D tonight
            Shocking if the effort never ends

            Gone away are the boo birds
            For a day 'til the tide turns
            Hedo flings a long bomb
            Andrea goes up strong
            Shocking if the streak never ends

            Let's not meddle with the coach's gameplan
            Just pretend that he is Larry Brown
            He'll say “Pack the house!” We'll say “Hey, man!
            But you'll contest the shots from downtown?”

            Later on, we'll desire
            Quit the team, unretire
            Debate all the trades
            Demand that they're made
            Shocking if the panic ever ends

            In the future, build around Derozan
            And pretend that it's a slam dunk crown
            We'll have lots of fun then, I'm supposin'
            Until we drive that kid outta town

            When we win, ain't it thrilling
            Playoff games, gets top billing
            We'll holler and cheer, year after year
            Shocking if the passion ever ends

            Comment


            • #21
              To the tune of Last Christmas

              Last season I gave them my heart
              But on opening day, they gave it away
              This year, to save me from tears
              I'll give it to a team that's special

              This year we thought Hedo was our guy
              Mr.4th quarter doesn't even try
              Ask Van Gundy, all he eats is candy
              Ah well, at least he tries more than Bargnani

              Saw the training camp special,
              when Triano said Top 6 D, I thought he meant it
              Now I know what a fool I've been
              And if another pick's dealt, I'd know he'll fool me again

              Last season I gave them my heart
              But on opening day, they gave it away (gave it away)
              This year, to save me from tears
              I'll give it to a team that's special (special)

              Last season I gave them my heart
              But on opening day, they gave it away (gave it away)
              This year, to save me from tears
              I'll give it to a team that's special (special)

              2010's coming, is Bosh our guy?
              Miami, NY, where will Chris Bosh fly?
              Jose Calderon, this man is a pylon
              Fuck, this core is softer than nylon

              Is Antoine going to learn his part
              Beli is garbage, this team has no heart
              Ooh, ooh, now I'm ready for John Wall
              They'll never fool me again

              Last season I gave them my heart
              But on opening day, they gave it away (gave it away)
              This year, to save me from tears
              I'll give it to a team that's special (special)

              Comment


              • #22
                Twelve Days of Dance Pak

                On the ______ day of Christmas, the Dance Pak gave to me...
                Twelve dudes saying "HELLO!"
                Eleven 90s dance hits
                Ten inaudible drummers
                Nine t-shirt bazookas
                Eight pointless DJs
                Seven lycra short-shorts
                Six flags that spell "Raptors"
                Five golllden weeeaves
                Four box steps
                Three hair flips
                Two hoop earrings
                And a fine dose of choreography

                Comment


                • #23
                  Ten inaudible drummers
                  Yes!

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
                    (JJ the Hard-Nosed Raptor)

                    In light of Jarret Jack's recent play as a starter, I saw this as a fitting tribute to his play and hope it continues throughout the rest of the season; ENJOY:

                    You know Chauncey and Childs
                    And Williams and Alston,
                    Jose and TJ
                    And Stoudamire and Mike James.
                    But do you recall..............
                    The most hard-nosed point guard of all?

                    JJ, the hard-nosed Raptor,
                    he makes the offence go.
                    And if you ever saw him,
                    You would say he's a solid pro
                    All of the other starters,
                    used to see Jose call out the plays,
                    Triano never went to Jarred,
                    to start in any of the previous games.
                    Then with Jose came a hip injury,
                    Triano came to say:
                    "Jarret with your game so tight,
                    won't you run my offence tonight?"
                    Then Raptor-nation loved him
                    as they shouted out with glee:
                    "JJ the hard-nosed Raptor,
                    you'll go down in Raptor’s history!"

                    Let's go Raptors!
                    Last edited by huskies2raps; Tue Dec 15, 2009, 08:08 PM.
                    Your ex came by; you can call me Jonas Valanciunas, cause I'm the king of rebounds!

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Free Amir


                      Free Amir
                      http://liston.ca/FreeAmir.pdf
                      Set to The First Noel
                      See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdP9qKxvWh0 for inspiration

                      Fre-eee Am-ir, the fans did say
                      Our rebounding star we need to play
                      Every night he shows his hustle and D
                      Which every fan can clearly see
                      Amir, Amir, Amir, Amir
                      Born is the King of rebounding.

                      The fans looked up and saw a star
                      Even if his shot is not up to par
                      And his shot blocking brings the cheers
                      And so grows the love for our man Amir
                      Amir, Amir, Amir, Amir
                      Born is the King of rebounding.

                      And by the light of that same star
                      Three Wise men know he can go far
                      Plenty of minutes was their intent
                      Running down the ball wherever it went.
                      Amir, Amir, Amir, Amir
                      Born is the King of rebounding.

                      This star is fourth in ORB percentage
                      He rarely fails to impress on his stage
                      His highlight dunks brings down loud howls
                      Such that we forgive his too many fouls
                      Amir, Amir, Amir, Amir
                      Born is the King of rebounding.

                      His on court hustle is bound to rub off
                      Amir is one who will never be soft
                      He breeds fear on D just with his presence
                      He’s worth more than gold, myrrh and frankincense.
                      Amir, Amir, Amir, Amir
                      Born is the King of rebounding.

                      Then let us all finally say
                      Amir is one baller who can really play
                      The Raptors’ fans can easily see
                      Amir Johnson needs to be set free
                      Amir, Amir, Amir, Amir
                      Born is the King of rebounding.
                      http://twitter.com/Liston

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        "Fleeced by DeMar" BY APOLLO
                        [To the Christmas jingle "Feliz Navidad"]

                        Fleeced by DeMar
                        Fleeced by DeMar
                        Fleeced by DeMar
                        The Raptors should have drafted Brandon Jennings but now here we are.

                        Fleeced by DeMar
                        Fleeced by DeMar
                        Fleeced by DeMar
                        The Raptors should have drafted Brandon Jennings but now here we are.

                        Milwaukee is merry because of us
                        Milwaukee is merry because of us
                        Milwaukee is merry because of us
                        Because Colangelo got fleeced by DeMar!


                        Just kidding guys. Sorry DeMar, love you man.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          I know this isn't raptors-related, but it's still Christmas in heaven for Eazy-E and all our fallen ghetto soldiers and ghetto hoes!

                          MERRY MOTHAFUCKIN' X-MAS, BITCHES!!

                          Last edited by James Ballswin (Realizar); Tue Dec 22, 2009, 11:00 AM.
                          RR OG

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                          • #28
                            Whoever picked the finalists is brain dead. Just kidding! But really.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              I won

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