Well, since as of a few days ago we acquired James Johnson, who has joined the starting lineup along side of Amir Johnson many of you have been asking yourself the obvious question: We've got two! Could we possible get every Johnson in the NBA. We tried, but failed, way back with collecting Williams. Being lucky enough to get another change at a surname monopoly, the opportunity should not be wasted!
So let's not beat around the bush, might as well start with the primo johnson, and get right on with acquiring Joe! This will be quite easy, since we have quite a lot of players not named Johnson, so we could easily give Atlanta an offer they could not possibly refuse, say DeMar DeRozan and Ed Davis? Neither of which, you may have noticed, is named Johnson, so they're expendable. And we have the TPE to make salaries work. Not sweet enough? Well, also notice that no highly ranked draft prospect is named Johnson! However, there is a late first round prospect, JaJuan Johnson, so on top of DeRozan and Davis, we can swap picks. Bang! Now we've doubled our Johnson holdings to 4!
Joe, Amir, James, JaJuan
(also note 3 out of 4 can use the nick "JJ", nice!)
Now, there happen to be more Johnsons in the NBA. Since "Armon" is most similar name to "Amir," let's start with him. Armon is far down the depth chart over in Portland, a team that could perhaps use a bit help over at PF. This works fine for us, since Joey Dorsey is also not named Johnson! Done!
A starting line up is emerging. Amir will have to play C with James and JaJuan at the 3 and 4. Joe and Armon in the backcourt.
Not a bad start for Team johnson. However, it wold probably be better to move Amir over to the 4, have JaJuan come of the bench and bring in a true center. His total playing time in his two years in the NBA is less than the running time of an episode of 60 minutes, but Chris Johnson of the Boston Celtics could probably had, well, we could just pick him and drive him to Toronto, Boston would likely never notice he was gone. Let's say we leave Alabi there to satisfy league rules.
So, we're getting somewhere, 6 Johnsons! Only Wesley remains! So next we send Jaryd Bayless, Sonny Weems and the rights to the Young Onez tradmarks (including motion picture rights) over to Minnesota. If that's not enough, we can trade them our 2013, not lottery protected, but johnson-protected, meaning they can have the pick unless it's a lottery pick and there is a johnson projected in lottery.
Now we have 7 Johnsons!
Our depth chart looks like his:
C- Chris, (Amir)
PF - Amir, JaJuan, James
SF - James, Wesley
SG - Joe, Wesley
PG - Armon, Joe
Pretty short bench, but we'll make do.
As for the remaining players on our roster, just send them home until their contracts run out. Negotiate buy outs, who cares? They're not named Johnson!