ezz_bee wrote:
Here's my feedback, none of it is meant to offend, so don't take anything personally, and feel free to disregard anything if you disagree. I'm not a journalist nor do I have any professional training in journalism or writing (other than a university degree which includes a minor in Enlish Lit). so I am certainly NOT an authority.
Who's your audience? If you are looking to write for serious hardcore raptor fans (and imho, it would only be those type of people who would take time to read a blog solely about the raptors) what information, analysis or argument are you providing that they can't get anywhere else?
For me there really wasn't much in your article that I hadn't heard elsewhere, and in fact most people would probably agree that Lowry is more likely to be the future PG of this team than Jose, so a majority of raptors fans probably already agree with the premise of your argument. In fact, if you plan on doing this for a living you may want to try to write pieces (at least occasionally) that make an argument that no one else would agree with (even you. Many journalists make their money by being contrarians, or making outlandish claims. If your target audience is a very small specific group, you need to provide them something they can't get anywhere else. I would include myself as a hardcore fan, and felt like your article didn't offer enough statistical evidence as part of your argument. To me it seemed that your article was geared to a wider audience, it seems like a piece you would read as an opinion piece on a general nba blog or a print newspaper. If you are doing articles of that depth (light on advanced stats, or without insider/team sources) you may wish to consider appealing to a wider audience.
If your intended audience is the serious raps fan, you may want to get more familiar with stats, however, it the stats back up what the general opinion is, it still may not satisfy your target audience. You may also try being over the top. Instead of just saying "my opinion is that Lowry should be the starter" you attack the front office/asking "why isn't Lowry starting? Because he is clearly the better choice as the starting PG". Your argument points can be the same, but it might be more enticing for the reader since you take on a more abrasive/passionate tone (which is acceptable in an opinion piece).
So I wouldn't say that there is anything seriously wrong with your article, I would only say that journalism is a horrendously difficult field to get any kind of traction/following/readers. From my experience it helps to know exactly who your audience is, what level of understanding they already have on the topic, provide a little more information than what they would already have (but not so much as to alienate the reader) OR provide an opinion that is contrary to the one they are likely to have, or be a little outrageous or indignant. Every right-wing radio host in the US basically is paid to be angry and indignant. In the digital age there are almost an infinite amount of places for people to get their information (even though most of it seems to say the same things) in order for you to be successful you need to find a way to stand out, from everyone else .
Hopefully, some of that is useful. As I said before I am certainly NOT a professional, and please disregard as much of my feedback as you like.
Best of luck!