Adams – possessed the characteristics you look for as a general manager of an NBA franchise: a fire hydrant with a headband. Hassan brought as much value to our team as would rap lessons from 50 Cent given to Jake Voskuhl.

Banks – at least Hassan isn’t costing us as much as, say, cable in Dubai. Equivalent to the poison pill we had to take to get someone to take HO off our hands, Marcus played in 6 games with the result of which being reflective of Arsenalist’s chances with the local women in Jamaica.

Bargnani – his second half was a huge surprise (and relief) to Raptors fans. He started to show signs of one day being worthy of being chosen #1. Not there yet, but he is showing why he should have been top 10, as opposed to earlier in his career. Great to know that heading into next season we will be anticipating his appearance on the court with real anticipation as opposed to waning hope.

Bosh – had an up and down season in all aspects of his life, but most importantly for us, he ended the season a 20/10 guy. He has to be wondering what he has to do to win the respect of this fanbase and I agree with him. Young kid, 20/10, great in the community. Yeah, trade his ass for 50cents on the dollar. His handlers are questionable and he really needs to look at the people around him as they continue to alienate his fans and the fans of this team. Just a recommendation Chris. All in all, the leader of this team from start to finish.

Calderon – worrisome question: was he indeed playing hurt most of the year or was that final stretch showing him play at a higher than average level for him? Either way, his free throw consistency was off the charts and deserves merit alone. Still, many expected him to be at least mentioned as a possible back up in the all star game, but he ended up disappointing more than chocolate tofu.

Douby – what do you offer a guy that plays 10 minutes in 7 meaningless games and gives you 4pts, 1 assist and 1 board?  A contract!!! That’s right, Quincy, thank you for playing the Colangelo Is Always Right!!!

Graham – if I’m his agent, I’m calling Jerry and asking what his son likes and shipping him 2 of everything. If Joey stays in Toronto, he has a shot at some court time. He leaves, and he is like his brother playing spotty minutes against primarily bad teams or being shipped from city to city the rest of his career. Coming into the season, he knew he had to impress. He did so in the middle months, but the rest of the way he was as average as a cheerleaders math scores.

Humphries – played in only 29 games this year, but has the work ethic the blue collar fans of the Raptors desire. Next season will be as important to him as this past one was to Joey. You want to continue living the life of a nightclub hustler, Kris, you need to bring the pain next year.       

Jawai – a man with a bad heart who doesn’t perform as well when he is working outside of his native land. Now I know why Bryan drafted him: he saw himself in Nathan!

Kapono – and the carousel of disappointment continues to spin. After whetting our appetite during the playoffs last year, JKillah comes out and, for the most part, lays a jurassic egg. Run plays for him, don’t run plays for him, hit him in transition, hand him a golf club…nothing seemed to keep him in a rhythm from game to game. That is not a good character trait in a high priced assassin.

Marion – the only thing he probably couldn’t bring across the border was his white horse. Replacing the boil that was HO, Shawn quickly showed us what we were missing: a capable slasher that can take the heat away from at least one of our main guys, and still be considered a main guy himself. A rental? Maybe. In his short time here, though, he has shown Bryan what this team needs to move forward.

Mensah-Bonsu – a shame that his injury hampered his game in the last few contests since it would have been nice to see if he could pick himself back up after a few down games. We will never know now and will rely on his summer league play to see if he can provide us with something. I’m guessing his return hinges on what happens with Marion. Personally, I think we already have enough projects under contract.

Moon – his goofy grin and one-dimensional defense has found a new home in Miami. The +/- stat is a useless one, but one that is more applicable to Jamario is games won because of and games lost because of. He may have been fighting for the league lead in that one. If you felt your right arm go numb and your heart felt like it was going to explode while watching the Raptors games early in the season, you were suffering a Jamario. No recent cases have been reported.

O’Bryant – what he lacks in ability, he has in physical attributes and desire. He’d be a great 10th-11th man to try and motivate to get better and fight for a higher seed on the bench and a guy with slightly more upside than Pops. Also, what better individual to fit into Toronto’s fabric than an African-American Irishman who probably likes women’s hockey and beer?

O’Neal – like trying to fit a lions head on the body of Jessica Alba, an experiment that went horribly wrong. The new Twin Towers turned out to be the Giant and the Toad with one guy playing with effort and heart and the other playing like he wanted to be back in Vegas drinking tequila and hitting on the chorus girls. HO brought next to nothing on most nights and had the type of attitude this team did not need in the slightest.

Parker – his season with us was like going to 80 different wing joints……you consistently knew what you were getting, but sometimes you were blown away and other times you felt disappointed. He stepped up and played well as a back up point guard, his tenacious D was something we desperately needed on most nights, and there is no doubt he is a solid locker room guy. If I’m BC, my decision on Parker is just as difficult as my decision on Marion.

Solomon – when you leave the aforementioned wing joints and you find yourself squeezing one out on the can at home, that last little squirt that comes out and sort of dangles there for a split second or four can now be referred to as a Solomon.

Ukic – you know when you were in grade nine and you went to your first high school dance with all your cool buddies thinking you’d impress the chicks and end up taking a Grade 12er back to your parents house and losing your virginity in the garage as your puppy Spalding looked on? Then, in reality, you showed up and the first thing you saw was your older sister doing the humpty hump with the stoner guy and that was the last thing you remember as the football team took you and your pals out to the football field and tied you to the goalposts, took your clothes and then turned the lights on? That shriveling feeling is probably what Roko felt as he took the court in most games this season because he out and out sucked. He should be stamped “not as advertised” and sent back to Serbia to continue working on his passing game with 4 pigs and a zebra.

Voskuhl – every 7 seconds a child dies and Jake commits a foul. Nobody expected anything from Jake and he lived up to that expectation. Plus, Bryan can check another name off his “reunion of past loves” list. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Jake back in the league next year. In a just world, he will surface in San Antonio and he will get a ring, while leaving a Raptors organization with nothing but a headband and a cheering towel. JYD would be proud.

Driving The Bus:   Chris Bosh

Under The Bus:    Jason Kapono

@altraps @raptorsrepublic

Game Theme:

Banks – call the toe truck.

Bargnani – meh, no reason to play since you have 4-5 months off. Why stress yourself?

Bosh – started off hot, then went as cold as Joan Rivers’ vajayjay. Then the light went off and he put his middle finger up for all his misguided haters to see. He finishes the season averaging 20/10, in the company of only two other players in the league, yet the idiots in the peanut gallery want to dump his ass for whatever we can get and make out that he doesn’t play with heart. Idiots. 21pts and 19boards against a team that was playing for something. Just smile, Chris…big up yaself.

Calderon – kind of late, but it has been terrific to see Jose and Shawn get into a rhythm. Beyond that, Jose was, once again, looking for people besides Chris and was making sure the ball had some movement. Nice to see. Let’s hope it carries over.

Douby – nowhere to be seen

Graham – not sure he will be back. Almost felt like he took the last few weeks off for the most part, which is disappointing. His midseason games were enough for people to sit up and take notice and actually consider using some of our cap space on. Have to wonder if some of that has already gone Quincy’s way.

Humphries –            

Kapono – meh. Personally, I get more excited watching Colangelo pick out shirts.  Against the Bulls tonight, 9pts 3 boards. Yay. Well worth that paycheque, eh Mr. Colangelo sir?

Marion – just like Bosh has the coaches in his ear tonight about getting to 18boards to secure the 20/10 average, I’m sure Shawn’s peeps have been getting him to step up the last few weeks just so they can add something to his mixtape. He’s going to have a bigger drop in his disposable income than Dinosty had when he proposed to his girl. Who is hot by the way.

Mensah-Bonsu – if they had installed a 6 foot wide conveyor belt that ran from the top of the key to the bucket, I’m sure Pops would have missed it and had the ball slip off. Him missing chippies tonight brough back horrible HO memories. I can appreciate the brace, but come on. He did absolutely nothing in 5 minutes except waste possessions.

O’Bryant – watching him play makes me think it’s like watching Realizar enter Philthy’s on a RFF night. Unassuming guy, nobody really knows him, you can tell he scores with the ladies…then BAM…tears the place up. 9 pts 7 boards, but again, way too many easy fouls. Still, I’d be hard pressed to understand the team giving Pops an offer and not Patrick. No doubt who has played better and harder the last few weeks. Well, except maybe at inbounding the ball.

Parker – had to think this game was bittersweet for him. Could have been his last one as an NBA starter, if nothing else. Showed he still can bust out the effort, especially after turning the ball over. Achem.

Ukic – good game for a third string PG, which is what he is. Played a calm half court set, moved the ball with some pop, borrowed some of Jose’s hand signals. All good.

Voskuhl – nice jumper from the outside. Last one as an NBA player?

Driving The Bus:   Chris Bosh

Under The Bus:    Joey Graham

Thanks for a fun ride. If you have da twitter, keep in touch at @altraps, feel free to jump on Google Talk, my handle is scottph, or keep an eye on the site here and at altraps.com. Summer should prove interesting, so you’ll want to be dialed in to keep abreast of what the team does and hear what we have in store. Trust me. You might need an intervention.

Game Theme:

Banks – dead weight.

Bargnani – faker.

Bosh – absolute bonehead play late fourth in not hustling to the ball and letting Dixon blow by you, steal it, and score what could have been the dagger. To make up for it, he did what franchise players do: win the game. Hit a wide open 3, sending the paying customers home disgruntled and making that flight to Chicago all that more enjoyable. 25/15, a smile, and a whole bunch of glaring into the eyes of the doubters.

Calderon – in a just world, he would have put up another double double today. I actually found myself pulling for the matador, thinking it would be a great way for him to close out a dismal year for him. He fell well short, but did show that his greatest value to us is a distributor and only when he takes the time to look for the best possible option as opposed to just one guy continually throughout the game.

Douby – wow…lets hope this game isn’t indicative of a guy who signs a deal and decides to rest on his (small) laurels. Zero points and only 2 assists in 9 minutes? Pathetic.

Graham – nice night. Took some smart shots, no posing for the camera, and looked like he was actually a focal point in some plays run by Triano. Has to be a nice confidence boost at the end of the season.

Humphries –          

Kapono – his season kind of reminds me of that high school kid that is just barely cool enough to sit at your table in the cafeteria. One day he comes in and wows you with some Playboys, the next day he brings in tuna. Today, JKap decided to bring in tuna AND asparagus.

Marion – if you translated his first quarter into female form, you’d have pregnancy-era Halle Berry from the chest up. Nearly achieving a double double in the first frame, he was playing out of his mind. Peppered throughout  the rest of the game was some pretty good defense. Don’t know if he was pulling it out of his ass to try and burn away the memories of the last few games, but add in a 25/15 and I’d say he did done good.

Mensah-Bonsu – surprisingly no blocks, but some nice board clean-up. Still a horrible shooting performance and as Jack pointed out, he is very easily stripped as he drives to the hoop. Maybe he’s a Bosh fan.

O’Bryant – still a fan, but his fouling is driving me bananas and no way a guy of his length plays 20 minutes and gets only one board. I’ll give him a nicely timed block, but if I had arms like a tarantula, I would be Inspector Gadgeting every ball that was even close to me.

Parker – not much to say here. His game is like getting socks at Christmas. Nice and can be put to good use, but you’d rather have NBA 2k9.

Ukic – as bad as Douby was, Roko was worse. Don’t worry little piggies, daddy is coming home soon. If he enters camp next year with little improvement, he needs to be cut. Think about it: he has had a year of on the job training and if you heard his name in the starting lineup, you’d probably get out of your seat and walk out.

Voskuhl – at least he got on the floor. 4 minutes, 2 turnovers, 1 foul. Last seen heading to the White House to see if Obama can give him a pardon for his sins.

Driving The Bus:   Chris Bosh

Under The Bus:    Jason Kapono

Game Theme:

Banks – if he becomes an alcoholic, can he come off our cap?

Bargnani – reminded us of the pre-Christmas Bargs. A quiet 17, but 4 fouls and just 2 boards. Bad time to pull a Keon when cult hero Armstrong dubbed you as the top Raptor story of the year.

Bosh – told the crowd that the worst is behind this team and thanked them for a full season of support. Then he went out, got 2 quick fouls, and sat on the bench. Would have been nice to see him pull a final double double out of the hat, but alas, that was like wishing BC would make a wise draft choice. Folly.

Calderon – what do you know? A nice solid game from the guy who would probably be coming off the bench for half the teams in the league. He has picked up his driving game lately and has been making nice crisp passes. Too little too late, mind you, but if Jason Kapono ever needs a wing man in that category…..

Douby – All you fools that think Ukic is the second coming of Stockton should take a look at Quincy. What he has done in limited minutes far outshines all (but one game) that Roko has given us all year. It’s all we need, really. A nice 15-20min guy that can have a Parker-like backup if needed. Quincy showed great court vision tonight, some nice range, and is a game away from earning enough money to hit up the salon for a wax job.

Graham – he wants to come back, but if he doesn’t, he left the ACC playing the way he can: gritty, attacked the rim, talkative, and hungry. Not his best game, but one that didn’t leave his hometown fans bemoaning his name at the end of it.

Humphries –         

Kapono – money says he only played 7 minutes because he had a mini-TV in his tear aways and wanted to catch the Masters sudden death playoff. After all, if you are playing your regulars and are up against a team that hits threes about as often as a midget hits a jumper, you’d think JKap would be on the floor a little bit more.

Marion – another highlight dunk and a game winning steal took some of the bad taste out of our mouth from another subpar defensive game. Can’t say he looks disinterested since he always looks the same. Kind of like a scarecrow.

Mensah-Bonsu – word earlier today was that the Raps had decided to make him an offer this summer. Yay. I can’t wait to see him back here. The curse of Keon/Jamario lives on.

O’Bryant – great workmanlike effort again. Unlike Pops, he actually puts up numbers when we need them. Still too foul-happy, but I wonder how much of that is due to the officials not giving his freakishly long arms enough credit.

Parker – typical AP first half, but offensively in the second half it was like he took some of his sisters meds and started producing like a baller should. If he was auditioning for the Sixers, he sure impressed them. Fadeaways, jumpers, drives…the whole shebang.

Ukic – I now know why I’m not a Ukic supporter. The name Roko reminds me of Ikea. It describes something that, as advertised, looks good and functional, but in reality needs a lot of work, though cheap is still overpriced, can easily fall apart, and, at the end of the day, never quite lives up to the hype.

Voskuhl – threw his headband into the crowd at the end of the game. No doubt it was caught by Arse who now will put it up on ebay in hopes to fetch enough to pay for his schooling.

Driving The Bus:   Jose Calderon

Under The Bus:    Shawn Marion

Game Theme:

Banks – the only pressing question: how is the toe?

Bargnani – wonder if his heel bone is connected to his shooting bone? Brutal shooting night can be partially chalked up to the Wizards putting quick defenders on him, but he should have been able to shoot over them with ease.

Bosh – another nice game. Just seems to come automatic to him lately. 21 and 10, 2 nice blocks, some sweet assists and still a victim of some non-calls by the officials. That said, he needed to play Haywood harder than he did and, at the same time, get into Antawn’s grill a bit.

Calderon – that clapping defense on the second-to-last Wizard’s possession was a thing of beauty. He was even late with it, giving the claps while the ball was mid-flight. Great stuff.  He did provide us with a better game than he has been lately with a nice double double in 30minutes, though it seemed like he played 40.

Douby – needs to call his dealer and figure out why he didn’t see the floor tonight.

Graham – had a game that reminded me of a Carlton Street hooker: good effort, what you expected, not nearly as good as something you’d pay more for, and, at the end of the night, you kind of think they just went through the motions and faked it all.

Humphries –        

Kapono – you could almost close your eyes and picture Arsenalist bow his head in shame and slide down in his chair at Philthy’s tonight. JKap hit shots he is paid to make and gave us the opportunity to steal one. Unfortunately we couldn’t thank him with a W, but he is gonna be doing the Ric Flair strut in the dressing room. Bet on it.

Marion –

Mensah-Bonsu – limited to 10 minutes due to his bad finger (good thing it isn’t a dehabilitating toe injury, eh Marcus?) he flubbed a few plays, but did hustle enough to put up an impressive 6/7.

O’Bryant – only saw the floor for 6 minutes. Seeing a theme here with the guys we want to take a look at? Evidently it was important enough for us to beat lose to a 19 win team that we keep our regulars on the floor. Good plan, Jay….and hey, even better result.

Parker – is there a play more automatic lately than him running off a screen to the corner for a 3? It has been so regular lately that I’m sure the play itself is called menstruation.

Ukic – not to beat a guy when he is down, but I’d be a lot more hopeful if he was getting his ass beat by NBA level errors. He isn’t. Brutal decision making, errant passing, the way he sits in the locker room…all things that should have been tweaked and improved before he was brought over here from (literally) the farm.

Voskuhl – still time to run out and get your Voskuhl jersey before his tenure as a Raptor comes to an end. Either that or wait for the 20% off deal they had when Vince left. Just trying to help you in these harsh economic times.

Driving The Bus:   Jason Kapono

Under The Bus:    Shawn Marion

Game Theme: (warning, harsh lyrics)

Banks – him chilling in Vegas rather than be seen with this team is telling.

Bargnani – thanking his lucky stars that he was selected to suffer the rotating fake injury tonight.

Bosh – Triano can’t even do this right: Bosh was one board away from another double double. Classy, Jay…real classy.

Calderon – really stepped his game up against the guy he hates, huh? 4 pts, 6 assists, one truly boneheaded turnover that led to a TJ assist. His game had Bird feeling he made off like a bandit. Again.

Douby – in a game full of reasons to question going on living, the Q did another passable job. Not worthy of a contract, but worthy of a long look in replacing Roko after I hit him with a car.

Graham – pulled a Chris Bosh and fought his way to the free throw line to pile up some much needed points. His brother out-flashed him tonight which shouldn’t sit well with the (supposedly) better brother.

Humphries –       

Kapono – broke up that intense taunting match between Foster and Pops. Thank God for that, could have been embarrassing.

Marion – 2 of 8 for 4 points. At least now I know why he as laughing on the bench.

Mensa-Bonsu – if you are a diamond in the rough, you take a game like this and turn it into an audition. You played as many minutes as almost everybody else on this team tonight and….you didn’t stand out. Not good for your future. 

O’Bryant – one of the few that played with passion tonight. Eventually fouled out, but 2 of the calls were outright wrong and he rode the refs the entire way. Give me that over what Pops has been bringing lately.

Parker – better than last night, but still far off his better games. I think he is the embodiment of someone that has checked out.

Ukic – I’d love to see this guy doing his Christmas shopping. He can’t make up his mind to save his life….his idea of “making it happen” late in the shot clock is to just keep it himself…he is being outplayed, still, by a guy that wasn’t in the league a few weeks ago….and he’s a pig farmer.

Voskuhl – 5 minutes, 2 fouls, and thankfully the end of this roll call.

Driving The Bus:   Patrick O’Bryant

Under The Bus:    Jose Calderon

Game Theme:

Banks – partying in Vegas while sitting out with a bad toe. Why sit with your team on the bench when you can be downing drinks at the Bellagio? (see story in the weblinks). HO would be proud.

Bargnani – early foul trouble accompanied by a technical hampered his game. Of course, he still gave us double what he provided last year and the look over to BryCo when he went to the bench tells you that the two are still in love.

Bosh – 10 of 12 and another double double. Probably had the most dunks he has had in one game all year while offsetting that with some horrible D in the first half. Awoke in the second with some swats and some hustle.

Calderon – a quiet double double in that 2 bad decisions with the ball in the 4th may have cost us a shot at a win. I would love his game so much more if he wasn’t making me want to give him a bouquet of flowers for his attempt at dramatizing every single foul/out of bounds play. I’m gonna start calling him Reggie.

Douby – Q showed some stuff tonight. Didn’t distribute as much as we would need a PG to do for this squad, but went 4 of 5 and held his own. One more of those and we should float him a summer league invite for an extended look.

Graham – has this guy fallen off the charts or what? He’s like the basketball version of Craig David.

Humphries –      

Kapono – quite the little run he went on there, huh? When he hustles like that you can almost hear his little brain saying “come on buddy, lift those knees, eyes up, must run to your spot and earn that paycheque”. And, hell, did you see him zip down the floor twice tonight and he was actually ahead of the ball??? Must be getting his legs in shape for golf season.

Marion – beginning to think he may have been the secret ingredient in our win streak. He had a nice game tonight, but not like some lately where you could see him active all over the floor. Can’t lose sight of this guy…keep him active in plays and feed him the ball.

Mensa-Bonsu – if Joey is Craig David, then Pops is Kriss Kross.  

O’Bryant – okay, he was absolutely brutal around the hoop, but those arms are things of beauty. You could use those things to lift floats up at the Macy’s parade. No denying his hustle either….he was running the floor like those dogs they have at halftime every so often. Good stuff. Still not a keeper, but might be worth some summer viewing too.

Parker – I’ve seen better games played by an armless man at a slot machine.

Ukic – all you fanboys out there…..your man was outplayed by a guy who has a name that reminds one of mind altering drugs who also sports a unibrow. Only thing that Roko is good for at this point is maybe finding some tweezers in that purse he wears while standing like a chick and making his way over to Quincy’s locker to start deforestation work.

Voskuhl – in a game full of retreads, he wasn’t even an afterthought. Mr. Voskuhl, your pride is on hold on line 1…Mr Voskuhl.

Driving The Bus:   Jose Calderon

Under The Bus:    Anthony Parker

Game Theme:

Banks – when you head to work tomorrow, wondering how you’ll stretch your paycheque until the 15th, please remember Marcus’ toe and how hard it must be to make it to the bank to withdraw his funds.

Bargnani – solid game adding to the patchwork of the vision of what is to come. My suggestion for the intro song next season? Arena goes dark, screen comes on showing Bargs smiling with grills and Swagger Like Us thumping in the background. Big up yaself!

Bosh – isn’t it getting harder and harder for the haters to feel they have a valid point? Seriously. Colangelo must feel sick that the best player on this squad is one that he had nothing to do with bringing to town but might be responsible for in his leaving. I just hope that what Marion has brought in his short time here plants a seed in CB’s head and has him thinking about staying.

Calderon – between his clap-your-hands defense and his “oh my god, my house is on fire” look when a call goes against him, I sometimes wonder if we aren’t watching him audition for a Spanish theatrical troupe. Like his game, though. Of course, I like soaps too.

Douby – blazin’ one up while watching the Raptors Republic video channel.

Graham – which position would have a better future: Joey’s business advisor or a Commodore64 repairman?

Humphries –    

Kapono – he shot perfect from the field. Mind you, he played 6 minutes. Doesn’t sound like much, but have you seen the horror that can be done in 6 minutes? (cough…jake…cough)

Marion – I am starting to call his shooting motion the Zit Popper. Gotta agree with Jack…can you imagine what this team could have been like had we traded for Marion instead of the deadweight we did get? In any event, his game was almost as good as Realizar’s day is when he downloads the latest drum n bass beats from da islands.

Mensa-Bonsu – zero of 7. How many of you jockers got his back for a 2-3mil contract now? Did nothing of any major consequence during this winning streak and certainly nothing that would prompt any NBA team to have him any higher than 8th on a depth chart. 

O’Bryant – if nothing else, he has increased his collection of throw away NBA tshirts.

Parker – missed that big three late in the fourth that might have swung momentum, but did some little things that kept us alive. Like the majority of his games this year, though, it wasn’t enough. Kinda like Raps Fan trying to get to his girls g-spot before he, you know, finishes.

Ukic – statistically a nice game, but can this guy think outside the box at all?  That “fast break” in the first half that turned into a game of hot potato was just embarrassing. Not as embarrassing as me being left off the invite list for Dinosty’s housewarming, but at least I’ll get over it. We are stuck with Roko for the foreseeable future.

Voskuhl – I bet he wakes every morning, turns on his ‘puter, and just hopes he gets a mention in an Arsenalist re-cap. The white version of a broken down JYD dares to dream. Good on him. Read to achieve.

Driving The Bus:   Chris Bosh

Under The Bus:    Jason Kapono

Game Theme:

Banks – somebody call a toe truck.

Bargnani – pretty much a non-factor in the second half due to foul trouble (and eventually fouling out in the early fourth), he played a hell of a game on Dwight and had him stumbling around as much as I’ve seen Howard do that all year. He had a hot shooting hand, one we could have used in the dying minutes, but his efforts on Dwight may have won us this game.

Bosh – he is the basketball version of a snake in a box full of mice. Stone. Cold. Killer. Took way too many jumpers, but when he attacked he wasn’t getting the calls anyway. I was surprised to see him staying away from being the double on Dwight, but it kept him in the game. That jumper over Dwight late in the fourth may be in the top 5 shots of this (dismal) Raptors season.

Calderon – ridiculously on fiah shooting the ball, but not a great job getting the ball to his teammates in great spots. In a game full of offsets, I guess we need to take this one, but not a smart passing game in the slightest.

Douby – you know when you are packing for a weekend trip and you throw in that extra pair of underwear “just in case”. Those are known as the doubies.

Graham – he was playing harder than RapsFan in the shower at an all girls catholic school. Some of the balls he went after were beyond the realm of all-things-Joey a year ago. Kudos on a workman like effort.

Jawai – just happy he is back in the big show so he can order “Slutdog Jizzanaire” and not have to pay for it upon checkout.

Humphries –   

Kapono – back to being underused in our offensive sets, even so much that Triano had him pass up a nice shot to feed VOSKUHL IN THE CORNER FOR A 3. Triano actually called that play! Incredible. Anyway, get Kapono the ball in a situation he can make things happen. This guy shouldn’t be looking to Bosh to set a screen for him.

Marion – welcome back. If he is using these final few games as an audition like he did tonight, I’ll take it. That was some killer game out there tonight, taking it to the Magic like an elephant at a peanut warehouse. The only thing better than Bosh’s shot over Howard was Marion’s postgame interview with Jack. Classic interview, classic game.

Mensah-Bonsu – listen…hear that? Kind of silent? That’s the sound of his agents phone at the end of the season.

O’Bryant – hot tip: the Irish are good at rugby. Look into it, Patrick.

Parker – his defensive effort was a catalyst tonight. Active feet and hands, jumping into passing lanes, directing teammates. He put on a clinic on how to beat his man to any spot on the floor and how to get into a guys head.

Ukic – why aren’t we contending? Our back up PG has a night like this in one of our best overall games of the year: 9min, 0 pts, 1 assist, 1 turnover, 3 fouls. Pathetic.

Voskuhl – came in and did what he had to do: put Dwight on the line. For once, his fouls were needed. Thank God we have a specialist in that category on our bench. Wonder if there is a 9th man of the year award?

Driving The Bus:   Shawn Marion

Under The Bus:    Roko Ukic

Game Theme:

Enough talk about Chris Bosh’s possible exit from Toronto or whether Calderon’s been injured or just crappy. It’s time to look towards the end of the bench and see just exactly what we have there and whether any of it is worth bringing back. The Raptors core consists of Bosh, Bargnani, Calderon and perhaps Marion but after that everything’s a question mark, in this post we’ll look at at 7 Raptors who are barely swimming in the NBA, the question is do we throw them a flotation device or a cinder block.

Kris Humphries: The argument that he needs more playing time so that he can carve his way into the rotation doesn’t hold water, not anymore. We’ve all sang the “play Hump” chant at some point and all he’s done is return is have a good game followed by two bad ones. He’s got some very soft hands and when you combine it with his tendency to play outside his talent level (e.g: taking 15-footers midway through the shot-clock), the bench will come calling regardless of the coach. Sam Mitchell rewarded hustle and you would’ve thought Kris would flourish under him but it wasn’t the case, even Sam couldn’t look past the lapses. The one great part about him is that he’s always ready regardless of how much pine he’s been riding and that makes him good enough to be on the bench of a team that’s trying to find its way. He’s got a reasonable contract: $3.2 million for 2009-10 and a player option at the same number the following year, ssuming he comes back healthy next year there’s no reason not to have him as an extra hand. Bench.

Nana Papa Yaw Dwene “Pops” Mensah-Bonsu: AltRaps thinks he’s a conman and I say there’s only one of those on the team and he’s a southern Californian hippie. It doesn’t take much to figure out that Pops is the hustle big man that we needed to sign in the summer or acquire through the draft (remember Robin Lopez). He’s got an affinity with the boards that I haven’t seen since the Willis/Oakley days, no, I’m not exaggerating. Who was the last Raptor big man that wanted to rebound and tear the rim down? I can’t even remember. For a team that’s been bottom 3 in rebounding all season long, I appreciate the 18.0 PER48 rebounding he brings. To put that in a Raptors perspective, the next guy on that list is Humphries and he’s 5.3 rebounds behind him. Sure, these games don’t mean a damn thing but hustle and rebounding is something that you’re free to evaluate regardless of the standings. Playing time.

Marcus Banks: I had high hopes for him, I even did podcasts with Miami bloggers to make myself feel better but it’s evident that Banks, well, isn’t every good. He can play some defense but so can Roko and he’s younger and cheaper and smarter and plays harder. I was told that Banks could take it to the rim but I’ve only seen him do that twice since he’s been with the team which means he can’t take it to the rim. He’s in his 9th NBA season and if he was going to become a serviceable player it would’ve happened by now. We already have one highly paid termite that’s eating away at our cap and we definitely don’t need another one. Buyout.

Patrick O’Bryant: The Celtics freed up a roster spot and the Kings got paid but I still can’t figure out what the Raptors got in this deal. Oh yeah, the soft feathery outside touch. Nobody knows how much he makes and whether it’s guaranteed or not but one thing is for sure: we don’t need him. Even if Humphries, Bargnani, Pops and Bosh go down I’d still rather Colangelo trade for a big man than give him extended minutes. He’s just not an NBA player and I figure Colangelo knows that, I fully expect him to be released, cut and clobbered. Buyout.

Nathan Jawai: Does anybody care or have the patience to see this guy “blossom”? We sent him to the D-League where he got special treatment (his own room and fresh razors) unlike anyone else and this guy wasn’t close to the best player on the team (his numbers). In fact, he wasn’t very good and did anything but dominate which is exactly what he needed to do to earn the confidence of his GM and the fans. Sticking by Bargnani is one thing but there’s no way I’m living with his mistakes for the next three years. We got a team option of $736,420 for next year, this might be a good opportunity to save some money. Bye bye.

Jake Voskuhl: Call me crazy, call me insane, call me a dumbass and slap my ass silly but I think this guy could pass as a 12th man. Best part about him is that he’s going to come cheap, won’t complain about playing time and try his gosh darn hardest. He’s good for 6 fouls against a big man and could platoon with Humphries as the next edition of the Banger Brothers. Offer him the bare minimum on a non-guaranteed contract and he’ll bite, hey, NBA beats the night shift at Sobeys. By no means am I suggesting he should get an automatic call to training camp, but if we’re tight for cash and need to fill in a roster spot, I’d take him. The fact that I’d pick him over Jawai should tell you just how low I think of the Aussie. Bench.

Joey Graham: Numbers last year: 38 games, 8.7 MPG, 3.6/1.8/0.4, 43% FG. Numbers this year: 69 games, 7.7/3.8/0.6, 49% FG. Nothing spectacular but a marked improvement. He’s been playing a very irregular role in the rotation, sometimes he’s the first guy off the bench, sometimes the fourth. The increased minutes have helped his game but role-definition is still an issue under Triano. He was most effective early in the Triano days when we actually ran plays for him, usually a weak-side flash which got him decent post-position or a baseline screen followed by a quick-hit pass. Don’t underestimate the impact of Calderon’s off year on Joey, he moves without the ball and presents himself far more often than what he’s given credit for. The official backup SF role next year and a place in Triano’s playbook will be good for him and us. Playing time.

Honorable mention:

Quincy Douby: Looks like Tupac.