All Star Saturday Night has just lost it

5 mins read

3-pt challenge

Shouldn’t DirkNowtizki have been eliminated in the first round because he really only had 12 points and his moneyball was shot after the clock expired? Who cares, it’s worth noting somewhere on the internet that it did happen.

When the 3-pt competiton ended, I didn’t even know that Dirk had won. This couldn’t be it, there had to be something more to it than somebody’s shot clanging violently off the rim to crown the new champion.

New rule: All 6 players must hit atleast a dozen shots in a row to win. You keep replaying the final round until somebody does. Who cares if it takes an extra 2 hours, it’s still better than going through the agony of watching the Skills Challenge.

Slam Dunk

This just in: Nate Robinson is the best dunker in the league. Doesn’t sound right, does it? That’s because it’s not true. Crowning Nate Robinson as the dunk champ is like crowning Doug Flutie MVP. Yeah, he’s pretty good for his size but he’s not close to being the best.

What AI (that’s Andre Iguodala) did was pretty dumb – it’s common knowledge that you save your best dunk for the final round. It’s like winning Round 1 but losing the fight. There’s no point to it.

And what’s up with Moses Malone handing out 10’s on generic sloppy misses?

Funny quote from the radio guys calling the dunk contest: When Iverson setup Iguodala for one of the dunks, the color guy goes, “I’m surprised he didn’t shoot it himself”.

All-Star Game

Thank you Steve Kerr for pointing out Tim Duncan’s sense of humour. Turns out Tim’s funnier than Dave Chappelle on shrooms or so Steve Kerr would have you believe. If you asked the Spurs management to keep either Tony Parker or Tim Duncan, what would they do? My money’s on Parker. Atleast they’ll have one celeberity at their games.

They really have to stop “feeding” the home guy (Tracy McGrady in this case) the ball so he can win MVP, especially when he’s resigned to jacking up 3’s on every possession. Is there a more worthless award in the NBA than the All-Star Game MVP? Hard to thiink of one.

So Chris Bosh is Vince Carter’s “main man”. Surprising since Vince wanted the Raptors to trade the 4th pick in the draft for a veteran. Here’s a prediction: Vince Carter will play for the Raptors again. Might not be in a few years, but he will. It’s meant to be.

Charles Barkley sometimes comes up with some funny stuff but he’s also a pretty big idiot. He proclaimed the game to be over at halftime when Kenny Smith mildly pointed out that defense is about as present as Barkley’s common sense. The Barkley then gave Smith five points and took the West. Earlier in the day, The Barkley was the only one who left Kobe Bryant off his Top 50 list. “It’s not that I don’t like Kobe”, says Charles, “I hate him”.

The Michael Jordan commercial being played these days with the kids emulating Jordan is one of the best Nike commercials ever. It’s right up ther with Lil’ Penny. Speaking of Penny, didn’t he used to be a regular at these games until he thought he could live without Shaq. It’s going to be interesting if Kobe even comes out of the first round of the playoffs for the next 5 years given option #2 on the team is smoking L’s in timeouts. I don’t care how much Zen Phil Jackson practice’s on Chris Mihm, he still can’t guard Rasho Nesterovic.

I’m getting off topic here so let me end this post with some peculiar observations regarding the All Star Game:

  • Nobody seems to know the names of the other two girls in Destiny’s Child.
  • The Barkley made the following comment after the camera was on Beyonce, “With a woman that pretty, how could you go see Brokeback Mountain?”
  • Gilbert Arenas had a horrible game.
  • Magic Johnson should disappear. He adds absolutely nothing except irrelevant and uninteresting nostalgia everytime he opens his mouth.
  • The Raptors might want to look at Kenny Smith as their next GM.

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