One of the perks of grinding it out in the office working 60-hour weeks is that sometimes your boss hands you courtside seats.
I wouldn’t know, ‘cause I’m a “less is more” type of guy, but thanks to my buddy Carps’ relentless corporate droning, I got to peep the Cavs courtside. Not ‘Mini Me’ courtside, but right behind the bench courtside. I realize this isn’t actually courtside, but I really just like saying courtside.
Courtside.
When it was clear that LeBrizzle would be sitting this one out the Cavs were doomed, even with Bosh out. So while Boobie, Zydrunas the Destroyer, and Beardy Sanchez tried (in futility) to overachieve and squeak out an upset, the Raptors coolly, calmly, collectively built a comfortable lead and (for once) kept it. Even with a flurry of 3’s in the 4th, the Cavs had too big a mountain to climb in order to spoil career nights from Carlos Delfino and Andrea Bargnani, the latter of which frustrated the hell out of Drew Gooden last night in the way that only slimy Euros can (See Ginobili, Manu). I really think that when Andrea learns to hold on the to ball stronger as he goes to the hoop, he’ll score 6 more points per game. The ball gets knocked out of his soft hands on too many penetrations so far, and the refs aren’t calling foul. But he’s getting the hang of this NBA thing, and it’s a delight to watch.
On one particularly enjoyable sequence, Gooden backed Bargs down, spun around for the jumper, but Andrea played excellent defence (he’s REALLY improving, and fast) and he missed. On the ensuing possession, Il Mago posted up Drew, made the very same move, and stuck the jumper. Demoralizing daggers, Drew. Damn.
And say what you will about Delfino’s eyeliner and plucked brows, but this guy is the big story no one’s talking about (except Doug Smith, who I said hi to. He said hi back, in between bites of something fattening.)
Instead of losing my voice screaming obscenities to the refs and yelling ‘OFF!’ every time the Cavs shot, I chose to observe some of the more subtle nuances of the Cavs bench…and the beautiful arm candy rich guys in the good seats bring to the games with them.
Notes from courtside:
– Mike Brown gives Leo some pre-game love. After a wisecrack from the Cavs coach, Leo leaned over and rearranged his eyes with his ears. What a joker!
– Speaking of Mr. Potato Head’s human doppelganger, he doesn’t sit during the game. Not for a single minute. Instead he does a lot of yelling and pacing. To be sure, I’m not sure what he was doing, but it wasn’t coaching. He makes Sam Mitchell look like a strategic genius.
– I was on official Lebron Watch for most of this game, and learned a few things about him:
Lebron James is the happiest kid in the world. Smiling, dancing, goofing with Donyell ALL GAME LONG. He was as adorable as a 6’8, 250 monster could be.
LeBrizzle appeared to take genuine interest in the game-ops promos and contests: kiddie musical chairs, beach ball bingo, and of course, the Dance Pak. He chose to watch the action instead of participating in, you know, unimportant things like team huddles (not one, really.)
He knows all eyes are on him. Everytime he got up off the bench, he buttoned his blazer, stood tall, and faced the crowd in a definitive, defiant pose that would make a Roman statue jealous.
You know that dude who’s really touchy with his guy friends? He’s straight and all, just initiates lots of uncessary, unprovoked physical contact. That’s LeBron. Resting his head on Marshall’s shoulder, cleaning some fluff (or something) off Boobie’s forehead, rubbing Big Z’s back. This is totally true.
Also totally true: Some crazy chick screaming at LeBron finally gets his attention. He waves, she orgasms. In fact, I think everyone with a uterus in section 120 got pregnant in that special moment.
***********************
Random Observation: anyone else notice this strange combination of players on the court during the third:
Raptors: TJ, Kapono, AP, Jamario, Delfino
Cavs: Brown, Snow, Pavlovic, Newble, Jones.
Wonky, huh? Not a player above 6’8. You could say that’s 9 guards on the court at once (Newble isn’t a guard – he’s barely a forward). Don’t know why Brown would let this go on. This favors the Raptors big time.
We’re looking to extend the streak tonight (uno dos tres quattro…cinco?) against the Wiz in the second half of a back-to-back, and with Gazo The Pranksta out, Jamison and Butler will have to shoulder the load. The Wiz are on a two game downer and only scoring 89ppg in those contests. If we can get out firing again at the Verizon Center, tonight should be a carbon copy of last night’s game: An easy win against an Eastern Conference Team That Blows Without Their Superstars.
Bobcat Bet Update: Charlotte’s on a four game skid now, falling to 6-8. Not sure who to cheer for on Monday (okay, not really.)
