I don’t know why you’re smilin’…
Wearing a bandaid over his eye last night, Yao Ming more than resembled virtual boxing great/eyebrow-dancing enthusiast Piston Honda after three tough rounds in the ring. Yao Honda (Mitsubishi Samsung berka berka jihad) delivered a KO late in the fourth round to defeat the Toronto Li’l Macs. We floated like a butterfly in the first half but couldn’t manage to sting like salt and vinegar chips, let alone any flying insects. It was an awful night of shooting all around, the result of another lackluster effort by Mac’s outmatched trainer, Doc Louis (pictured below at last night’s game).
Houston shot only 39%, but whether you credit our defence or criticize their offence depends on where you sit (from my couch, it was the former in the first half, the latter in the second). But one thing’s for sure, we certainly squandered a completely winnable game by missing every open jumper we could, which prohibits any rhythm our shooters could have mustered.
Bargnani 0-5
Bosh 7-20
Delfino 2-10
Parker 3-9
Moon 5-12 (Should NEVER be taking that many shots)
Both squads made “Ugly Betty” look like Scarlett Johansson in the first half, but that was tempered by the fact that we played with gumption: diving for loose balls, blocking shots (Bosh swatting Rafer was the most satisfying by far), and bumping around The Big Pocky in the paint.
(DiNote: Thank god this in only a nickname. If Ming really WERE a thin cookie dipped in chocolate, he wouldn’t stand a chance against Houston’s porky underbelly (which hangs, not surprisingly, overbelt). The great (big, round) people of Houston have been voted the #1, #5, and #6 fattest city in America since 2005.)You could almost taste the W in the first half of the game. And then, with Battier’s solid steal and bucket to end the half (and tie the game), everything changed. The second half might as well have been a different game altogether. I mean, watching Humph and Rasho outrebound Yao in the first proves it can be done, right? So what the fuck happened?
Bonzi diced us in the first half, Rafer rained on us in the third, and Yao pounded us down low in the fourth.
I love that Mitchell believes in his bench to get it done. Really, it inspires confidence and trust across the board. But I can’t help being overcome with nervous anxiety whenever Bosh is kept on the bench for too long. Sam sits him far too liberally in the second and fourth quarters, which looks brilliant when we win (San Antonio) but is far more telling in games like last night’s.
When it comes down to it, we just lost our poise in the fourth, outscored by 8 in what was a tight game. It was there for us, and we couldn’t put our stamp on it. The Rockets gave us opportunities down the stretch that we couldn’t capitalize on, and that ended up being the difference.
GAME NOTES (The Chuck and Leo Edition):
- Officially the WORST “Ask the Expert” question ever. What’s the difference between posting up and posting up deep? Here’s a hint: Look for the extra word, schmuck.
(Seriously, it’s such a gimmick. They obviously have the question before the broadcast and prepare their answer ahead of time, so last night listening to Leo try and answer the question using game clips of Yao that didn’t address the question at all was ridiculous and insulting.)
- Speaking of Chuck and Leo, it’s time to admit we’re stuck with “Salami and Cheese” forever, including it’s subsidiary catch-phrases “onions” and “opening the fridge”. If you hate it, you’re not the only one. But there’s nothing we can do. We must find peace in the fact that it’s bigger than us (much like Chuck’s head).
- And Chuck, bringing up the fact that Jamario has had ‘blocks in two consecutive games now’ is just sad. Why not mention that Kapono’s now played six straight games without hair gel? I hear Bosh has crossed over in twenty-one games in a row! Really, stop trying to start another run – it’s embarrassingly transparent. No one was interested in this stat the first time around, so what makes you think that’s going to change?
