Raptors vs. Cavalebrons, 1pm

Hey y’all, wanna see a show? If so, put down your popping corn, toss out your caramel apple, and prepare to be dazzled, dumbfounded, and delighted!! Step right up to the ACC this afternoon for the fantabulous, extravaganbulous, extraordinariffic solo skills of the King of Crossovers, the Duke of Dunk, the Sultan of Showboating, the…

Hey y’all, wanna see a show? If so, put down your popping corn, toss out your caramel apple, and prepare to be dazzled, dumbfounded, and delighted!!

Step right up to the ACC this afternoon for the fantabulous, extravaganbulous, extraordinariffic solo skills of the King of Crossovers, the Duke of Dunk, the Sultan of Showboating, the Midwestern Magician, the one, the only, the LEBRON JAMES ONE MAN SHOW!!!

Watch him spin, pass, shoot, dunk, scream, sigh, and bite his nails in this solo circus guaranteed to please your peepers! Whether they win or lose, we know you’ll enjoy the show (at least that’s what Dan Gilbert is counting on).

(DiNote: Boy, do I miss Kopa’s Photoshop skills on the weekends…would’a loved to stick Lebron’s head on that guy)

Ahh….I joke, I kid, but not really. I love playing the Cavs because we match up well against them. Then again, it’s easy to match up against a unit of 1 with no bench, no chemistry, and no poise. Only when #23 gets hot do they have a chance at winning games. Their ‘shooters’ are streakier than ours, and that’s saying something. As we all saw earlier this season when the lost 6 straight without him, they’re one James injury away from becoming the Timberwolves practice squad.

Please don’t misconstrue this as me underestimating them. They do have a couple strengths – rebounding the ball is one of them (and one of our weaknesses). Big Z and Andy Varejao will have to be kept off the glass by Bosh and Humph, though I hope Sam does the right thing and plays Rasho against this frontcourt today. He and Z always have entertaining battles in the paint, and I still haven’t figured out who smells worse after the game. This is one of the great mysteries in my life.

On a final note, it’s always a treat when Eric Snow comes to town. Sure, I respect him for being the only Koopa Troopa to make it to the NBA (hiding in his shell’s a fan fave!), but rarely do I get to see such futility in a professional atmosphere. That part time Hooters model in accounts receivable that plays on MSN all day is better at her job. Clearly this level of crap-cess is something Larry Hughes is aspiring to, and with an excellent mentor such as Snow, there’s no wonder he’s making such great progress.

(Now that I’ve talked all this shit, please don’t choke Toronto. Don’t make me look more like an ass than I already do. I’m fragile inside.)

Girl Talk: Ira Newble

Ira is a hoe! POINT BLANK! FACT: A VERY good friend of mine messed with Ira for years. She knew he wasn’t shit, but she fell for him. She left him alone, not vice versa. He did any and everything for her.She knew all about his son’s mother, but he down played it, and she stayed. That was her bad. But he isn’t married, but we heard is getting married. Good for him, he couldn’t leave her ass alone anyone, so he might as well be with her! I’m SO glad my girl got out when she did. This shit on this site about him is crazy!

If you’re interested, click the link above to read the rest of Ira’s ‘gossip’. I for one can’t believe such a talentless scrub gets so much airtime, but hey, him and I never ‘laid it down’, so clearly I’m missing some key information.