With the Raptors having almost a week off between games against bottom-dwellers like Miami and Minnesota, they were more than ready to dominate yet another inferior team, showing their poise and consistency against lesser competi…what? Whaddya mean there was a game on Friday? Nope, didn’t happen. Insist all you want, but that’s impossible – I have no recollection of that whatsoever. In fact, funny you brought it up, I can’t remember anything from Friday at around 6:30 until I woke up Saturday night at a poker table in Niagara Falls.
Did I miss anything? No – great!
Yeesh, the T-Wolves make the Heat look good, don’t they? Kinda like how ugly Tori Spelling made Jennie Garth seem way hotter. What a crappy team. The fact that Antoine “Butterball” Walker gets substantial minutes should tell you all you need to know. They have exactly ONE player, Al Jefferson, and a roster full of the same athletic-yet-brainless youth that made Boston so unwatchable in recent years. Will anyone be surprised when Gerald Green and Sebastian Telfair are playing in Europe before they turn 25?
Twisty throwing it DOWN.
Raptors fans finally got a glimpse of their potent PG tandem getting closer to their previous defence-shredding ways. To be fair, the Wolves “point guards” were tremendously outclassed. Bassy Telfair hasn’t played a impressive minute of basketball since he left Lincoln High, and the only compliment I can give Marko Jaric is that he must be hung like a aged spruce, ’cause it’s not his skills or stats that impressed one of the hottest babes on earth.
TJ and Jose combined for 23 assists in 48 efficient minutes, while Jose went perfect from the floor and FT line, 4-4 and 5-5 for 15 points. TJ’s still struggling to find his offence, but as long as he can keep dropping 13 dimes he doesn’t need to take a single shot. Instead he can spend the pre-game catching up to old friends.
“Mark…hey. How are you holding up out here in this basketball wasteland, hmmm? Doin’ okay, not too depressed down there at the end of the bench? Good – hey, at least you’re saving your energy for more important things, like digging your car out of snowbanks and picking up wet towels off the locker room floor!”
Bargnani was patient yet assertive, taking it hard to the hole and keeping defenders honest by hitting the 3. Kapono made more than two jumpers in a game (which when you’re one of the best pure shooters in the league, should not merit praise), and everyone else pretty much had the night off. AP and Bosh weren’t required to do much on the offensive end and Bosh got to conserve his energy on defence thanks to the littany of double teams that came Jefferson’s way, which hopefully saves his juice for tonight’s game against the suddenly-human Spurs.
In a game that should never have been close, it was actually tied by a Walker 3 late in the second quarter. Raptors nation broke into a collective sweat but thankfully, the Dinos didn’t fold against a weak squad like they did against Washington at home*.
* Stop saying Friday! I don’t know what you’re talking about.
With the game decided early in the 3rd quarter, this enterprising photographer took the time to bungee down from the scoreboard and capture this exclusive angle. Anything for his art.
Before we move on, did anyone else relish seeing Humph’s parents in the crowd? His dad looks like one stern fellow, the type that won’t let you come in for dinner until you hit 300 free throws blindfolded with your off-hand. I bet Kris missed a lot of meals…
On to tonight, where the Raptors are back at home to take on the Spurs, who are also on the tail end of a back-to-back with their loss yesterday in Boston. For the first time in recent memory, San Antonio appears flawed and beatable. You can talk all you want about ‘saving it for the playoffs’, but since when are the Spurs a .500 road team? Have cows turned into dogs? What is going on here?
Tony Parker, out with an aching vagina, means TJ and Jose should be able to zoom past the Spurs’ own ‘formidable’ PG duo, Damon and Jacques Vaughn. Playing a weary team 7 games into their annual rodeo road trip, last night’s cruising victory should give the Raptors a needed advantage in the energy department. The Spurs look a year older, a year slower, and one can’t help but wonder if that will to dominate hasn’t waned slightly. After all, even if you’re banging the prom queen upside down and with whipped cream for years on end, at some point the drive and attraction will inevitably fade.
It’s always fun watching Bosh defend Duncan, but what won’t be fun is seeing Manu Ginobili embarass Jamario. The pump-faking, head-jerking flopistador might as well bring a lawn chair to the free throw line unless Sam looks at the game tape and puts AP on Manu.
I hope we can keep the Red Rocket and his friends Oberto and Duncan off the offensive glass. This, you may recall, is not exactly our strong suit. A sure way to lose this game will be giving them too many second chances, which you can’t do against a team of San Antonio’s pedigree.
We’ve beaten them on their floor, now let’s take it to them at the ACC and show Damon he made the wrong choice.
Girl Talk: Bruce Bowen
Very arrogant. A rude and ugly big headed guy who tried to sleep with both me and my friend. Was told his wife is a goldigger and her brother lives in San Antonio and Bruce gives him $500 a week at least.
