Hahahaha…like living in New Jersey wasn’t bad enough…how’s it going now, buddy??
I’m guessing Vince didn’t stick around to congratulate Jay Triano on becoming the winningest Canadian coach in NBA history, so I’ll do it for him – congratulations!
(Seriously, good for him. SO glad it’s not Leo)
No Kidd. No Kwame. Seems Toronto’s been designated the last stop for traded players. Even Sam Cassell, who’s likely to be wearing the Shamrock before season’s end, sat out the Raptors game.
Yeah, selfish Devean George and his “My Ferrari and I are just here to protect his interests” agent have halted the trade for now, but all signs point to it going through sooner than later. Though George’s warped, athletic ego seems to think giving up his Bird rights will lose him a ton of cash, the lineup of teams waiting to throw wheelbarrows full of bullion his way is shorter than the lineup outside the “Glitter” premiere. He’ll do the right thing and approve the trade, at the risk of being the most hated man in Dallas not named Stephen Jackson.
All of that being said, I think we’ve seen the last game Jason Kidd plays as a Net.
So it’s safe to say the first game in the post-Kidd era was a disaster. Without a Hall-of-Famer spreading the floor, getting players the rock in their comfort zone, and generally driving the team, Vince and Jefferson were lazy and disinterested all game long. Without their leading rebounder* and playmaker, the Nets looked about as limp as a priest at the Playboy mansion. But imagine having to go to work for a day without your brain: unable to type emails, pouring salt in your coffee, pissing your pants in the lunchroom. That’s the Nets for the rest of this season. These guys can’t get golfing soon enough.
* Raptors outrebounded them 41-28. In other news, I’m pretty sure the sky is falling. Dress accordingly.
To keep things interesting, Triano asked them to fight for rebounds. That’s how the winningest Canadian coach in NBA history thinks.
But while their offense stunk worse than Boki Nachbar’s locker, the Nets DID impress me on the defensive end. Lawrence Frank’s squad managed to play ZERO defence for the full 48 minutes, and that’s no small feat. You’d think that they’d stop something, if even by fluke. Nope. Alley oops, pick n’ rolls, layups – they fully committed to not defending ANYTHING the Raptors threw at them. I take my hat off to them.
Example A: Apparently “watching and wishing” is different than “doing”.
As most people are saying, this lopsided win shouldn’t get anyone too excited – the Nets are in full tank mode now. Which is the right move, ’cause they’re awful.
On a night where every Raptor looked like the best version of themselves, I can’t say enough about Jose. Did you see that alley-oop THREE POINTER he hit? A second after the shot clock, but still – that’s as tough as it gets. But Jose seems to have a special knack for making the most difficult of shots. Jumpers fading sideways, and of course his patented layup. I LOVE THIS MOVE. Why does it work for him? Most players slow down as they pick up their dribble, but Jose actually seems to speed up as he leaps for the layup. And they way he protects the ball with his body (as seen above)? He’s always in there with the trees, but when’s the last time you saw him blocked on a lay-in? Did I mention he’s been shooting 70% over the last 5 games?
Add last night’s 22 and 12 off 9-12 shooting, and that number goes UP. (Still not an All-Star, Ric Bucher?) Ocho’s in a groove now, and apparently there are rumblings that with Kidd moving to the West, Jose might actually end in New Orleans after all. I think at this stage it’s kind of a vacant compliment, like when your grandparents tell you how handsome you look despite your pre-pubescent man-boobs and face full of pimples. I’m sure Jose’s already touched down in the Bahamas, sitting on the beach with something strong and fruity in his hand, content as a fly on a rotting carcass.
QUICK GAME NOTES:
– It‘s amazing Chuck could complete the entire broadcast with Jason Kidd’s dick in his mouth. Who said the guy didn’t have skills?
– “Rasho’s kid is so big, he was born on Oct. 2nd, 3rd, and 4th.” This is the first geniunely funny thing Chuck’s said all season.
– Apparently Stromile Swift thinks you get six points for a hard dunk, which is all he’s capable of. I’m pretty sure someone has to tie his shoes for him before the game.
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The All-Star Break is the perfect opportunity for us to reflect on the season so far. I’ve got some questions to answer, so over the next week we’ll discuss everything from Carlos’ hair gel to Joey’s Trade Watch to important things like how to improve down the stretch run. Oh, and a tour of Darrick Martin’s new digs at the retirement home!
Stay tuned.
