What the fuck’s so funny?
Okay TJ, you don’t like me and I don’t like you. Or maybe I just don’t like you. Either way:
Your performance last night was unacceptable. I’ve never seen such a selfish display of basketball in my life, and I’m living through the Kobe Bryant era. He dropped 81 with less ball-hogging. It was exactly the type of individual demonstration that goes against the recent renaissance of team basketball. Videos of your 4th quarter should be sent to every top-tier high school program to teach PG’s how NOT to play.
For those who were lucky enough to have missed it, here’s the Coles Notes: Raptors down 3, beginning of the 4th quarter. TJ Ford decides to channel Michael Jordan and take the game into his own hands. The next 13 possessions, Ford does not complete a pass. After this game, I’m not sure TJ can spell “P-A-S-S”. 13 straight one-on-fives. Almost seven minutes of the fourth quarter belonged to TJ and TJ alone. His 13 shots in 16 minutes, more than Dwight Howard or Hedo or Rashard or Jamario, is what cost us the game.
THIRTEEN POSSESSIONS in a row, the result of which was 8 shots (he hit 5), four turnovers, and one trip to the line. His selfish streak completely ruined whatever chance we had to rally. I don’t care if he hit all 8 shots, how are his teammates supposed to react to standing around with their hands open for 13 straight possesssions? Losing* any semblance of flow or chemistry during the most crucial point in the game? At what point do you think they’re going to stop wasting their energy on screens and cuts?
*You know what? They didn’t lose it. It was stolen.
I gave you props when you fought back from injury. I respect your “gimme-the-rock” attitude. But you’re not the best point guard on this team anymore, not matter how many games of 1-on-1 you beat Jose. Forgive me if I don’t applaud your 20 misleading points. Your 2:7 assist-to-turnover ratio tells the true story of the game.
Because I’m big on “basketball as a job” scenarios: ever been in a class/meeting where one guy just decides to totally take over the presentation? Without any prior discussion and with a total fuck-you to the team he goes off on a whim, free-wheeling facts, neglecting the PowerPoint you communally worked on for weeks and just…wings it? And everyone in the room wants to tear his fucking head off, but they have to maintain the smile and facade until they get back to the office? Well trust me, in last night’s locker room the smiles came off. TJ showed a blatant disregard and distrust for his teammates. I can only hope AP slapped that cocky sumbitch upside his head.
Not to let TJ’s jawdropping display of unprofessionalism overshadow some other notable Raptor contributions…
Jamario’s playing just awful basketball. I mean, with no brain whatsoever. For the first month of the season people weren’t paying any attention to him and his athleticism got him noticed. Now that he’s a starter, he’s getting exposed more often than pop star vagina. What’s it going to take for you to drive to the net, full body armour? What are you so afraid of? You grew up rasslin’ alligators, for god’s sake. It’s time to take that bad teenage moustache to the bench, buddy. Delfino can take bad shots too, trust that, but at least he’s not totally devoid of basketball IQ.
Andrea, Andrea, Andrea…what to do with you? You can’t finish going to the hole, something that I can finally admit after watching you bull-charge your way into an array of missed layups. You’ve got a smooth J, but you’ve got zero touch around the net. In fact, until you develop I will call you Andrea Kwamehands. You’re an excellent jump shooter that happens to be very tall, Sir Kwamehands…but at this stage in your career, you’re a one-dimensional player. Similar to…
Kapono, who can’t even bring himself to take a fucking shot. Of course, he extended the streak of futility. At least he’s got something to keep his heart beating. A hot wife only gets you so much rope over here, bud.
Hey Sam, I see you sneaking out that back door. Don’t think I forgot about you! Seeing as how you really play no role on this team, why don’t you call it a season and go spend some time with your Coach of the Year trophy before you have to give it up*? We can just continue to draw your rotations out of a hat, and Chuck can easily call out “Horns Up” before every possession. That about covers it, right? Don’t worry old buddy, I got you.
*Yes, you HAVE to give it up. No tears – you were lucky to get it in the first place.
Superman was kept in check for 36 minutes thanks to the refs, not the Raps. He returned rested to score 14 points in the fourth and seal the W. Sam’s strategy of Bargnani marking Superman worked about as well as that “Cavemen” show.
Finally though, we found the rebounding to make this game a slightly more respectable blowout. Parker and Delfino each brought down 9, Rasho grabbed 7, Moon 6, and Bargnani even managed to fall into 5 boards. With Bosh we might have won this game. Jose and AP both played within the flow of the game and made Orlando work…which is no surprise, as these two have been the most consistent Raptors all season.
The true highlight of the game was something that most of us didn’t see: Primoz Brezec dropping haymakers on the Orlando Magic Mascot (story’s in there, scroll down). At least that would have made me smile.
(DiNote: Like so many of you, I was completely furious last night. For the record, this is me CALM. It’s a good thing I took some time before making a post, or I would have ended up on some sort of government watch list for sure.)GAME NOTES:
– When I noticed TJ getting his Nasty Lips* on in the 2nd quarter, I knew something was brewing.
*Like Elvis’ trademark snarl, only far more selfish.
– Primoz plays pretty good defence. Straight up, arms in the air, and he doesn’t wince at contact. Call him the Anti-Bargnani.
– What was with Jameer Nelson’s Marsellus Wallace bandaid?
– Kris Humphries was very aggressive, 10pts and 4 boards in 16 minutes. THIS is the Humph I like, this is the Humph we need.
– Playoff rotation, any guesses? Jose, TJ, Parker, Bargnani, Bosh, Rasho, Delfino, Moon, and….who? Humph? Primoz? Kapono? I’m lost in Sam’s favorite game, “Rotation Yahtzee”.
*************
Finally, the idiots at Rogers screwed up (what else is new), so I have to wait another two days for my HD box. So atleast I won’t have to watch us potentially lose* to the worst team in the NBA in high definition.
* Fuck guys, don’t kid yourself. It’s possible.
