I’m starting to think I was wrong about this whole TSN2 debacle. The stalemate isn’t denying us the chance to watch our team…
It’s denying us the chance to watch our team be bludgeoned by the Lakers and the Hornets. It’s saving us from grey hairs, pickled livers, and smashed drywall. TSN2 and Rogers aren’t greedy, stubborn ego-villians.
They’re public servants. They should be knighted. Or at the very least, granted a recurring guest spot on The Hills After Show.
I’d like to dedicate this crappy disco song to the power-struggling powers-that-be:
“I AM ALIVE”
as sung to Gloria Gaynor’s “I will Survive”.
At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
With missing Bosh’s stride
But I spent so many nights
Watching the Raps play so wrong
But learned how to carry on
So now it’s clear
How bad they stink
And maybe this whole TSN2 thing
Isn’t as bad as people think?
What good is getting all worked up
When Kapono won’t shoot 3
I’ve got better things to stress about
‘Cause it still burns when I pee
Go on now live, forget the score
Just turn on “House” now
Why watch losing anymore?
All this corporate fighting making hardcore ball fans sigh
They thought we’d crumble
Miss two games and cry
Oh no, not I
I feel ALIVE!
As long as I know they are gonna lose
Why beg to watch them dive?
So long as Rogers refuses to waiver
They’re doing all of us a favour
Until the Raps revive
I’ll make them win in NBALive!
HEY HEY!
Anyone wants to write the second verse, the lyrics can be found here.
And if you have questions for Jack that don’t include “Who would win in a cage match: Swirsky or Devlin?”, send them here.
