Roll Call – April 5 vs Knicks

The “fore” edition

Banks – when you head to work tomorrow, wondering how you’ll stretch your paycheque until the 15th, please remember Marcus’ toe and how hard it must be to make it to the bank to withdraw his funds.

Bargnani – solid game adding to the patchwork of the vision of what is to come. My suggestion for the intro song next season? Arena goes dark, screen comes on showing Bargs smiling with grills and Swagger Like Us thumping in the background. Big up yaself!

Bosh – isn’t it getting harder and harder for the haters to feel they have a valid point? Seriously. Colangelo must feel sick that the best player on this squad is one that he had nothing to do with bringing to town but might be responsible for in his leaving. I just hope that what Marion has brought in his short time here plants a seed in CB’s head and has him thinking about staying.

Calderon – between his clap-your-hands defense and his “oh my god, my house is on fire” look when a call goes against him, I sometimes wonder if we aren’t watching him audition for a Spanish theatrical troupe. Like his game, though. Of course, I like soaps too.

Douby – blazin’ one up while watching the Raptors Republic video channel.

Graham – which position would have a better future: Joey’s business advisor or a Commodore64 repairman?

Humphries –    

Kapono – he shot perfect from the field. Mind you, he played 6 minutes. Doesn’t sound like much, but have you seen the horror that can be done in 6 minutes? (cough…jake…cough)

Marion – I am starting to call his shooting motion the Zit Popper. Gotta agree with Jack…can you imagine what this team could have been like had we traded for Marion instead of the deadweight we did get? In any event, his game was almost as good as Realizar’s day is when he downloads the latest drum n bass beats from da islands.

Mensa-Bonsu – zero of 7. How many of you jockers got his back for a 2-3mil contract now? Did nothing of any major consequence during this winning streak and certainly nothing that would prompt any NBA team to have him any higher than 8th on a depth chart. 

O’Bryant – if nothing else, he has increased his collection of throw away NBA tshirts.

Parker – missed that big three late in the fourth that might have swung momentum, but did some little things that kept us alive. Like the majority of his games this year, though, it wasn’t enough. Kinda like Raps Fan trying to get to his girls g-spot before he, you know, finishes.

Ukic – statistically a nice game, but can this guy think outside the box at all?  That “fast break” in the first half that turned into a game of hot potato was just embarrassing. Not as embarrassing as me being left off the invite list for Dinosty’s housewarming, but at least I’ll get over it. We are stuck with Roko for the foreseeable future.

Voskuhl – I bet he wakes every morning, turns on his ‘puter, and just hopes he gets a mention in an Arsenalist re-cap. The white version of a broken down JYD dares to dream. Good on him. Read to achieve.

Driving The Bus:   Chris Bosh

Under The Bus:    Jason Kapono

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