Roll Call

Toronto Raptors Roll Call vs Hawks Feb 2

The “Jack hates Liston” edition.

The “Jack hates Liston” edition:

Ajinca: he’s like the guy they send in to sweep up after the porn shoot. He’s hoping to score with whatever is left over.

Alabi: nice guy, no hope.

Barbosa: that loud groan you heard this morning was Leandro opening up his curtains in his condo.

Bargnani: I would never call him useless. Maybe “not worthwhile”. To say he has hit a bump in the road is like saying Hamilton had a bit of snow and Arsenalist loves Hemingways. Stating the obvious. Also, not to say it’s fact, but it sure as heck  looked like he was bickering with Jay about blown zone coverage, which, when you consider the source, is quite hysterical.

Bayless: he has the basketball persona of that 9 year old brat you would be beating at checkers and, rather than lose, he flips the board over and walks away in a snit. You beat Bayless one on one and he’s coming back at you and ignoring all other teammates. He could have Andrea AND DeMar wide open under the basket and he’s driving.

Calderon: he made the lone 3, he got another double double and his hair looked good. Other than those positives, he sucked. No, really.

Davis: no blocked shots by wee Ed tonight mostly because people were blowing by him like a redneck heading to the buffet table. He took the night off offensively and blended into the empty seats a bit too much.

DeRozan: one of those games where he looks to be on a tear and gets hampered by foul trouble. The ones called tonight were ticky tack, but as one of the best players on the floor he will attract that attention. Shot the ball well, was aggressive, but also holds the shame of no trips to the line..which is where he should be building a futon and living.

Dorsey: give Elvis his guitar back, chump.

Evans: he’ll be back sooner than the Drake Sprite commercial.

A. Johnson: the confidence is back, the determination is back, his back is back. Another great game from a man who has just as much to prove as Andrea does. Too bad they can never be hot at the same time. 20/14 against a Hawks team that is pretty intimidating. Memorable night.

T. Johnson:  some solid minutes but nothing that would warrant keeping him around.

Kleiza: hope he’s a snow owl.

Weems: every so often even the smelly kid at school showers. Weems had a nice night and showed flashes of being the Sonny of old in attacking the basket and knocking down jumpers with ease. Then he had some rest and realized who he really was and went back to performing like Lady Gaga on helium.

Wright: I couldn’t believe he played 12minutes. Seemed like he was out there for 2-3 and got pulled.  Need a nice stretch of games from him again. He’s definitely an X factor off the bench, but lately he’s been performing like A-Dub at Garth Brooks Karaoke Night.

Driving The Bus: Amir Johnson

Under The Bus: Andrea Bargnani

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