Game Analysis

Raptors Roll Call Jan 18 vs Celtics

Celtics drop the haymaker and the Raps lose 96-73 and some self-esteem. We drop to 4-11.

The “we are the tonic to your troubles” edition:

Barbosa: says something about the current squad when Barbosa gets the “if we shut him down, we can beat the Raptors” tag. The Celtics blanketed Barbosa all game and he just never had the opportunity to get it going. Man, it hurts to write that. Barbosa as our offensive weapon. Welcome to 2004.

Butler: he looked as relaxed as I’ve seen him all season. He mixed up his shots, his team was looking for him, and he hit shots. Now, defensively, he earned a fairly deserving yank when he got crossed up twice.

Calderon: how was his night? He was abused and shaken like a squeezable ketchup bottle at a fish & chip joint. Not a highlight night for Jose. I had a better day at the office and I jammed the photocopier 6 times and stapled my shirt to my jeans.

Carter: face it, the only way he was hanging with the Celtics is by proving he is as well past his best before date as Jermaine O’Neal. Putting him on the floor was as cruel as being forced to watch Mary Poppins on New Years Eve. Trust me. Cruel.

Davis: 9 points, 9 rebounds and he played the most minutes of any Raptor. Isn’t that performance akin to being a waiter at all you can eat buffet?  Everybody sees you there, but nobody knows what purpose you serve.

DeRozan: welcome to backwards day where DeMar actually does most of his scoring in the first half and not the second. At first I thought he was pissed at being pecked at quite hard yesterday about his lack of effort by the beat writers. Then I saw him fade faster than LeBron’s hairline in the second half and you could almost hear Dougie sharpening his pencil waiting to pounce post-game.

Forbes: things that rarely happen: RapsFan listens to me, a guy doesn’t add a good looking girl on Facebook he doesn’t know personally, the Raptors Dance Pak has more than 3 good looking members, Arsenalist writes a bad article, and Gary leads an NBA team in scoring. He did tonight with 18.  Let me repeat that: the Raptors leading scorer against the Boston Celtics was Gary Forbes. I’d update his Wikipedia page, but….

Gray: 4 boards in 19 minutes may not sound like much, but Aaron looked like a kid that had just broken into a candy shop. He was everywhere, he was puffing his chest out, and he made it known that the paint was his house. Now, almost every Celtic had a key to the front door, but he was heads and shoulders over Jamaal. Plus, he was playing with heart.

A. Johnson: the man is walking around like the guy featured on the Operation board game. Every joint hurts and any time you touch him he screams like Doug Ford’s bathroom scale. Might be a good thing, then, that AJ 1.0 made a re-appearance and he was picking up fouls at a good clip. He was limited to 20 minutes but still picked up 6 boards and never fell for the Celtics trying to bait him.

J. Johnson: returning to the lineup sporting a wayward piece of spaghetti on his head. Somebody should tell him about it. I’ll be honest, I was growing wistful for 1/7 shooting and over the top whining on correct calls. Glad to see him back.

Kleiza: he is beginning to remind me of my neighbour who decides to blast 60s hippy music 8 hours a day every weekend in the summer. You just want to go over and hammer the guy over the head with a bundle of sunflowers and then choke him out with a rope made of hemp. Tonight Kleiza was just horrible. Ignore his 1/8 line at your peril, but defensively he looked like a penguin sliding down a hill of ice when trying to close out on the perimeter.  He does know how to almost kill an opposing point guard though.

Magloire: I am convinced that he is just being used to balance the cabin weight on the team plane. If you are a massive piece of meat and you can only be used for 5 minutes as per coaches choice, you suck. Proof? No rebounds, no points, 1 turnover, 1 foul.  S-u-c-k.

Driving the bus: Leandro Barbosa

Under the bus: DeMar DeRozan

Theme of the Game:

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