Raptors Roll Call Feb 6 vs Wizards

5 mins read

The “surely the least watched NBA game of the night” edition:

Barbosa: outside of having to believe some Raptors PR drivel that he is banged up, not quite sure what is wrong with the Blur. He’s been playing lately like he is well past his sell buy date and putting in performances that remind you of chunky milk.

Bayless: if there was a stat that tracked “heat check shots”, Bayless very well could be a Hall of Famer. He was putting it in the hole more consistently than George Clooney, and while that is great for some guys, you just know it makes Jerryd’s eyes as big as saucers and he keeps on chucking, teammates be damned.  He fouled out in OT, but without him dropping 30 and his repetitive drive and kicks to Kleiza, we would have lost this game by 16.

Butler: he shows up ready to play about as often as snow appears in Toronto lately.

Calderon: seems like if you get mentioned in trade talks as a Raptor, you pull your game back and make it painful for BryCo. Barbosa has been next to useless and tonight Jose was just, well, crap. He’s been like having steak replaced with unsalted ham.

Davis: that thud you heard outside your front door wasn’t Rob Ford looking for candy while he “diets”….no, it was Mr. Ed coming back down to earth. 3 fouls in 16min forced Casey to re-introduce Ed to the doghouse fairly quickly tonight.

DeRozan: not often you have a guy play 44 minutes yet not really leave a mark on the game outside of whining and looking for calls. Look, I understand the desire of getting up to play the big guys, but there is no better way to make people sit up and take notice than taking it to a team that is the equivalent of listening to Nicki Minaj sing as a baritone.

Forbes: waiting for this guy to be relevant is like waiting for the Ford Pinto to be redesigned and brought back as a hybrid.

Gray: I haven’t had my heart broken this quick since RapsFan shunned me and went to Five Guys Burgers without me. I put all my support behind Aaron and he has absolutely crapped the bed the last couple of games. Tonight he was no better than a hillbilly from the Ozarks dropped into the south of France trying to order ribs and some Old Milwaukee.

A. Johnson: his fourth quarter and overtime absolutely saved the team (and himself) from embarrassment. He started the game like he was stuck in mud, but ended it by diving for balls, getting blocked, getting blocked, getting blocked, but still hanging in to pull the Raptors up by the pits and stay alive.

J. Johnson: his shot block at the end of the fourth was huge and spoke to what his role should be on this team: minimal and only against guys 6 inches shorter than he is.

Kleiza: tell me you didn’t love that tongue to the crowd when he hit that two to break the back of the Wizards in regulation. He and Bayless were hotter than your girlfriends lady parts while looking at the Beckham H&M ads. Now, it was offset by some horrible turnovers including a pass that went right through his hands down the stretch.

Magloire: in true Canadian fashion, he must have felt bad for playing so well and messing with the Wizards opportunity to win  in regulation. It’s the only way to explain how he let the ball fall away from him on a missed FT at the end of overtime that allowed Washington to seal it. One job in the game and he made a mockery of it. Pity.

Driving the bus: Jerryd Bayless

Under the bus: Jose Calderon

Theme of the Game:

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