Gameday: Raptors @ Bobcats, Mar. 20

What would make you watch this game? We ask the internet.

The Ring 2.
Beethoven’s 2nd.
Rocky V.
Babe 2: Pig in the City.
Blues Brothers 2000.
Teen Wolf Too.
Raptors-Bobcats IV.

These are some of the worst sequels of all time. In this case, though, not even the original(s) were any good.

Raptors-Bobcats I: The First Apology
Raptors-Bobcats II: The Blow-out
Raptors-Bobcats III: The Tankening
Raptors-Bobcats IV: In Which We Gouge Our Eyes Out

Maybe it won’t be that bad. Last Friday’s game, after all, was a win for the Raptors. But it was a terrible 92-78 affair. Amir Johnson went gangbusters, Rudy Gay had just his second 50%-plus game as a Raptor, and Terrence Ross got some run and looked decent.

Tonight, we’ll have to look for the same kind of minor victories, since there is no pressing need for either team to win or play inspired basketball. The Bobcats are third last in offense and last in defense but they HAVE won nine home games compared to six road games. So, I guess, this will be marginally more difficult than Friday.

The Raptors will want to basically replicate the defensive game plan from Friday, where they allowed Gerald Henderson and Kemba Walker to score through volume instead of efficiency, while outworking the Cats on the glass. On offense, handling the ball more carefully could lead to additional possessions, and 19 turnovers isn’t acceptable against this squad anyway. After all, possessions against Charlotte are worth more than against any other team, since their defense is so porous.

Now, for the rest of the pre-game, instead of analyzing things, I thought I would ask other basketball people an interesting question:

What would have to happen for you to flip over to the Bobcats-Raptors game on a night with 10 other NBA games on?

Michael Pina of CelticsHub, RedNinetyFour and more: “10 commercial breaks.”

Kirk Henderson of Two Man Game: “I would need 1970s-1980s rock to be played instead of announcing.”

Jim Cavan of Knickerblogger and NYTimes: “‪Drugs probably isn’t an appropriate answer….‬color blindness?”

Jared Dubin of Hardwood Paroxysm and HoopChalk: “‪Someone tweeting #LeaguePassAlert Byron Mullens just ate a person during the Bobcats-Raptors game‬.”

Sean Highkin of Hardwood Paroxysm: “It would have to be the only channel of League Pass that works. Which isn’t entirely off the table, because Comcast is the worst.”

Andrew Lynch of Hardwood Paroxysm and Valley of the Suns: “‪Any of the young guys going off, or it being a close game in the closing minutes as the second round of games is just getting started.‬”

Jovan Buha of ClipperBlog: “A fight and/or a player breaking a scoring/shooting record.”

Fred Katz of ClipperBlog and RotoWire: “All other channels out, power is down, every book I own is burned, there’s a hurricane outside so I can’t leave the house, and Michael Jordan has announced he’s making a comeback with Charlotte.”

Steve McPherson of A Wolf Among Wolves, Hardwood Paroxysm and more: “Reports of the appearance of a ghostly figure in the shape and likeness of DeMar DeRozan playing incredible help defense.”

So there you have it. You might be the only one on the internet watching the game, reader. But that’s okay, because it makes you an expert on “the March 20, 2013 game between Charlotte and Toronto” if such a thing ever becomes of historical importance.

The Picks
Vegas: Raptors -6
Hollinger: Raptors -6.5
Blake: Raptors by 9. I don’t see the Bobcats showing up, once again. Here are some other predictions:

*Rudy Gay takes exactly three long two pointers.
*Jonas Valanciunas over-helps but recovers in time to foul.
*Amir Johnson has another 15-15 game, exploding Twitter.
*At least one commenter on this article makes me bang my head against a wall.
*Arsenalist complains that I scheduled him for another Bobcats game.
*All of our new writers quit.
*Bassy Telfair have it all.
*I troll Dubin with a fake #LeaguePassAlert about Mullens biting someone.
*Michael Jordan smokes fourteen cigars.
*SportVu camera data confirms the Bobcats are horrible.

Tip-off is at 7 p.m. on Sportsnet. Enjoy!

UPDATE: I did a 3-on-3 pre-game with Queen City Hoops that you can check out here.

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