Since the first Raptor-Wizards playoff game has been dissected to death by all the other excellent Raptor Republic writers, I thought we could look at the lighter side and view some of the texts between Raptor players, coaches, Masai Ujiri and others I happened to have come into possession of this morning.
Saturday, April 18, 2015
10:32 AM
JAMES JOHNSON: Coach!
JAMES JOHNSON: Coach!
JAMES JOHNSON: Coach!!!
DWANE CASEY: What?
JAMES JOHNSON: Are you going to play me today?
JAMES JOHNSON: Coach?
—-
12:04 PM
ADAM SILVER: I thought we’d agreed you’d keep your speech clean this time,
MASAI UJIRI: I kept it clean. I didn’t say f**k.
ADAM SILVER: You said s**t,
MASAI UJIRI: I don’t think so.
ADAM SILVER: Yes, you did. I was standing ten feet away from you.
MASAI UJIRI: I don’t remember that.
ADAM SILVER: You don’t remember me standing there? You introduced me to the crowd.
MASAI UJIRI: Did they boo?
ADAM SILVER: No.
MASAI UJIRI: Are you sure?
ADAM SILVER: I’m not David Stern. Fans still like me.
MASAI UJIRI: Enjoy it. It won’t last long.
ADAM SILVER: I could say the same for you.
MASAI UJIRI: What?
ADAM SILVER: Remember Bryan Colangelo? They loved him at first, too.
MASAI UJIRI: Are you sure they didn’t boo you?
ADAM SILVER: You were there. Did you hear any boos?
MASAI UJIRI: I don’t think I was there.
ADAM SILVER: So you don’t think either you or me were there?
MASAI UJIRI: No.
ADAM SILVER: Hold on. I’m sending you a video.
MASAI UJIRI: Oh ya. I remember now. I didn’t say s**t.
ADAM SILVER: It was just blanked out.
MASAI UJIRI: No, I just didn’t say anything, so it sounded like it was blanked out.
ADAM SILVER: Whatever. We’re still fining you.
MASAI UJIRI: I think I heard boos.
—-
1:42 PM
JAMES JOHNSON: Coach?
JAMES JOHNSON: Coach?
JAMES JOHNSON: Coach!!
DWANE CASEY: What now?
JAMES JOHNSON: You know I can defend Pierce.
JAMES JOHNSON: Coach?
—-
1:50 PM
MASAI UJIRI: What’s going on with James Johnson?
DWANE CASEY: What do you mean?
MASAI UJIRI: He keeps texting me asking why he’s not playing.
DWANE CASEY: Sorry.
MASAI UJIRI: I don’t want an apology. I want you to talk to him.
DWANE CASEY: About what?
MASAI UJIRI: Why you’re not playing him.
DWANE CASEY: Matchups.
MASAI UJIRI: Didn’t you have Tyler defending Pierce in the first half?
DWANE CASEY: I didn’t want to go small.
MASAI UJIRI: Sorry. Wrong number.
—-
1:52 PM
MASAI UJIRI: What’s going on with James Johnson?
DWANE CASEY: We just had this conversation.
MASAI UJIRI: That was you?
DWANE CASEY: Yes.
MASAI UJIRI: And you said you didn’t want to go small?
DWANE CASEY: Right.
MASAI UJIRI: This is Dwane Casey, coach of the Raptors?
DWANE CASEY: Yes.
MASAI UJIRI: And you didn’t want to go small?
DWANE CASEY: People always accuse me of going small too quickly.
MASAI UJIRI: So you thought you’d prove them wrong in the playoffs?
DWANE CASEY: Good a time as any.
DWANE CASEY: You think I should have gone small?
MASAI UJIRI: You’re the coach.
DWANE CASEY: Yup.
MASAI UJIRI: For now.
DWANE CASEY: WHAT?????
MASAI UJIRI: Sorry. I didn’t mean to type that. My phone’s on speech-to-text.
DWANE CASEY: Oh.
DWANE CASEY: My job’s safe, though. Right?
MASAI UJIRI: Definitely.
DWANE CASEY: Whew!
MASAI UJIRI: Do you have Jeff Van Gundy’s number?
MASAI UJIRI: Never mind. James Johnson just texted it to me.
—-
3:22 PM
DEMAR DEROZAN: Paul Pierce just texted me a picture of himself with ‘it’ written on it.
KYLE LOWRY: What a dick.
DEMARY DEROZAN: Are you watching the Warriors-Pelicans game?
KYLE LOWRY: Yup.
DEMAR DEROZAN: Damn, GS is good.
KYLE LOWRY: Anthony Davis is having a hell of a first playoff game.
KYLE LOWRY: Think they’d trade him for Jonas?
DEMAR DEROZAN: LOL
KYLE LOWRY: Pelicans are getting smoked.
DEMAR DEROZAN: You realize that would be us if we played in the West?
KYLE LOWRY: That’s messed up.
KYLE LOWRY: Amir played well for an old man, today.
DEMAR DEROZAN: You realize he’s younger than you.
KYLE LOWRY: For realz?
DEMAR DEROZAN: Yup.
KYLE LOWRY: Man I wish we had Davis.
DEMAR DEROZAN: I wish we had Curry.
KYLE LOWRY: Yup. Wait, what?
DEMAR DEROZAN: Gotta go.
—-
5:23 PM
BEBE NOGUEIRA: Jonas era horrível hoje
JONAS VALANCIUNAS: ???
BEBE NOGUEIRA: Sorry. Thought you were Bruno.
—-
9:40 PM
DEMAR DEROZAN: Heads up. Drakes texting people to go out with him.
AMIR JOHNSON: Thanks. I’ll turn my phone off.
—-
10:12 PM
GREIVIS VASQUEZ: You watching Rockets game?
JONAS VALANCIUNAS: No. Just watched Paul Blart: Mall Cop
GREIVIS VASQUEZ: How was it?
JONAS VALANCIUNAS: I didn’t understand why it’s funny.
GREIVIS VASQUEZ: It wasn’t funny?
JONAS VALANCIUNAS: It must be an American thing.
GREIVIS VASQUEZ: James Harden is taking a million free throws.
JONAS VALANCIUNAS: Must be nice.
GREIVIS VASQUEZ: Maybe it’s the beard.
JONAS VALANCIUNAS: No, it’s obviously not the beard.
