American GladiRaptors

Because my favorite sports team is a bunch of diaper-wearing noodle-soft fragile wimpy daffodils, I have to look elsewhere for my testosterone dose (and Remington’s isn’t my idea of a good time).  Thankfully, American Gladiators is back!! Click here before you proceed to get in the zone. It’s only the most amazing show ever to hit the airwaves (and ... Read more

The Day After

Dear Dinosty Readers, I’m sorry for yelling. Daddy (me) doesn’t really hate Mommy (Raptors), but sometimes when adults are mad they say things they don’t mean. Not in this case, however, as I meant every profane word I wrote about that bitch.  What you need to understand is that Mommy’s a slut, and instead of ... Read more

17-18

No pictures, no links, just fury. Furious fury. If the Raptors record above looks incorrect, that’s because the NBA has actually decided to score the game as 2 losses for this afternoon’s inconceivable disgrace. Usually, we’re all jokes and bubblegum here at the Dinosty, but I’m irate and I can’t help it. My girlfriend’s laughing ... Read more

Raptors vs. Cavalebrons, 1pm

Hey y’all, wanna see a show? If so, put down your popping corn, toss out your caramel apple, and prepare to be dazzled, dumbfounded, and delighted!! Step right up to the ACC this afternoon for the fantabulous, extravaganbulous, extraordinariffic solo skills of the King of Crossovers, the Duke of Dunk, the Sultan of Showboating, the ... Read more

Silent Night

It started here. Sounds good, right? Like deep fried chocolate on a stick, it was about time. Unprecedented access, a peek behind the curtain of your favorite the locker room. Coaches hardwired to nationally broadcast every obscene threat they scream at their employees. And the best part? They have no choice! Who’s your daddy, Jerry ... Read more

Raptors vs. Hornets, 8pm

What kind of jerkoff boss makes his employees work on New Years Eve? I mean, come on! After Victoria’s Day, April 20th, Lost’s season premiere, and my birthday, NYE is right up there with the holiest of holidays. And except for waiters, bar staff, public transport workers, cab drivers, police, firefighters, emergency workers, telephone operators, ... Read more

15-13…

…and still not over it. The Sonics? THE SONICS?!? Man, glad I only got to watch snippets of that one. Stupid sexy Sonics. They’re officially off my ‘feel bad for them because they’re doomed’ list (is it lonely being alone Minnesota?). Fortunately, they’re still on my ‘feel bad for them because they employ Chris Wilcox ... Read more

Toronto vs. Oklahoma City (in Seattle), 10:30

Clippers, Blazers, Sonics. Reads like a 3-0 swing. But unless I can get my time machine to work (should’ve sprung for the Home Depot installation), we’ll have to settle for 2-1 in a best case scenario. The worst case, however, is much worse than 1-2. It’s a message to Phoenix, San Antonio, and Houston: “We’re ... Read more

Toronto vs. Houston, 12:30

No significant pre-game post today because of yesterday’s (read it) mid-season (read it) analysis (reading it cures impotence! Get on it!), but I couldn’t resist prospect of posting a… Girl Talk: Rafer Alston As of this very moment…I vow to myself to never view this site again…yall can have Rafer’s lying ass…he will NEVER change….and ... Read more

Toronto vs. Boston, 7:30pm

Boston Celtics by the numbers: 2008 Record: 15-2 2007 Record: 24-58 2008 home record: 9-0 Average Margin of Victory, 2008: 12 points Number of times giving up 100+ points: 4 (3 in regulation) Kevin Garnett 2008 stats: 19.5ppg, 11.3rpg, 3.8apg Ray Allen 2008 stats: 19.6ppg, 4.5rpg, 3.4apg Paul Pierce: 20.9ppg, 5.4rpg, 5.2apg Big Three Combined ... Read more