Kyle Lowry: The best guy we know, Kyle Lowry, was invited to sit on an NBA advisory council about game officiating during the off-season. He found it illuminating and encouraging and the results of it are just now coming out. For Christmas, to compliment his extra-curricular work for the good of the game, why not get him an exquisitely tailored referee’s uniform and let him officiate the Cavs Christmas day game. After all, revenge is a dish best served in stripes, running alongside LeBron blowing a shrill whistle in his ear, relentlessly.
DeMar DeRozan: A vacation.
Serge Ibaka: Serge reportedly enjoys a piece of fruit before every game so here’s where that usually ubiquitous fruit basket would actually be appreciated. Don’t skimp out though and nothing with fruit skewers, those are tacky and the melon is always underripe and hard as a rock.
OG Anunoby: A Netflix comedy special, failing that, a guest spot on This Hour Has 22 Minutes.
Delon Wright: Delon’s Frappuccino addiction—as seen in any Instagram story of him boarding the Raptors plane—is frankly out of control, BUT it’s the holidays, and who isn’t imbibing in a little too much ‘nog with 4 inches of whipped cream? A Starbucks gift card is a little bit basic so why not get Wright an endorsement deal? Existing partners could also be blended into the deal. Just picture it, a BioSteel Frappuccino.
Norman Powell: A brand new grand piano made entirely of orange pebbled leather, same as a basketball.
C.J. Miles: Miles and his wife, Lauren, likely have all the baby stuff they need so why not treat this overtime dad (of bench and real baby) to a t-shirt cannon’s worth of clay and under eye masks. Just crank that thing on and aim it at the big smile on this small forward’s face and watch the stress and sleepless nights just melt away!
Fred VanVleet: Whatever he wants, honestly.
https://www.instagram.com/p/h1ozuMHyQy/?hl=en&taken-by=pskills43
https://www.instagram.com/p/BcQeRRBF-zq/?hl=en&taken-by=jakob
Pascal Siakam: Skills clearly has a long history with the holidays, specifically #Santa. He’s had an exclusive invite into the biggest big man of em all’s house and got to ride around in the guy’s car with his best friend. Pascal’s on an inside track to get everything he wants already so let’s give him and Jakob the gift of friendship—let’s get them bunkbeds!
Jonas Valančiūnas: Wheelie shoes so he might get a liiittle faster on the court.
Bebe: Light up shoes, just because I think he’d get a kick out of them.
Jakob Poeltl: Jakob believes in Krampus so he gets a night filled with blood-curdling terror instead of a bright morning filled with warmth, cheer and maybe a new Helly Hansen base layer. Sorry mine kumpel.
Bruno Caboclo: A personal, handwritten note from arguably the most successful Bruno of them all, Mars, assuring 2-years-away-from-2-years-away Bruno that he can still reach his full potential, that there’s still time.
