The “ooohh….paint. I thought you said we should try to defend the saint more” edition

Banks – if he goes to bed tonight thinking about that kid in public school that teased him saying he wouldn’t amount to anything, Marcus should be rest assured that the bully wasn’t talking about him as a person…just his game.

Bargnani – well slap my ass and call me Mary. If you had told me at the beginning of the season that Bargs would go up against Shaq and stand his ground physically, I’d say you were as crazy as a guy who would propose to his girl the same week as they move into a new house (*cough* dinosty *cough*). Obviously the Big Beavertail couldn’t stop the Shaqtus completely, but he wasn’t tossed around like a ragdoll either. 

Bosh – saddled by foul trouble and exposing poor coaching by Triano again (this time by having the 5-foul laden Bosh single cover Shaq late in the fourth), he was left to watch an otherwise solid game dissolve into dust.

Calderon – if this was him at 100%, can we knock him back down to 90%, because the fullstrength Jose just got his pride handed to him. 10pts, 5 assts, 4 turnovers against a non-Steve Nash led Suns team. He should have been looking at this game like I look at a sign that points me to grilled cheese being served by Jennifer Aniston: a drooling excited man. Instead it looks like he read a sign that says “This Way For Salami Sandwiches With Regis Philbin”.

Graham – late scratch. This same term will be used when upper management looks at this roster and asks “Who don’t we want back?”

Humphries – getting a leg up at a bingo hall in Scarborough.

Jawai – from the South Pacific to……here.

Kapono – he looked so relaxed you gotta believe that JayKay got in a few rounds of golf in Phoenix. He came out putting more balls in the air than Richard Simmons.  He even defended well on two straight possessions, something you see as often as a guy hitting a granny shot from midcourt for $77,777.00

Marion – I never thought I’d hear myself say that after a guy gave us 27pts that I expected more. I guess I was kind of buying into the hype of him coming here, excited to play a certain style, going back to Phoenix for just the second time, facing a depleted and down on their luck former team……Still, given the alternative and still having Frick and Frack on our team, I’ll gladly take it. By no means am I saying he had a poor game. Far from it, and can I say again that I love how he talks on the floor, but I would have loved to see him dominate and stick it down the Suns throats and give us a much needed win on a night when all those we are chasing, lost. By far the best Raptor on the floor tonight……but not good enough to pull us through.

O’Bryant – you know when you are trying to tighten a stripped screw and it frustrates the crap out of you? You push and turn, hoping it will finally catch? Stripped Screw: The Story of Patrick O’Bryant.

Parker – gave us a granola bar game. You know, good enough to tide you over. Worked hard on the defensive end trying to keep up with some Suns guys that seemed like they just downed a triple espresso. His court vision on our side of the ball wasn’t up to his normal solid stuff. Still, that said, would have loved to see him slide over to the point instead of….

Ukic – this worthless pig farmer. That shot at the end of the quarter is the epitome of what will be his NBA career unless he gets some burn against guys of his own caliber. Like, say, RapsFan and Arsenalist at 3am.  Let me be clear: I do think he can have a career on this level…just not now. If you go 1-for-6, you PROBABLY SHOULD LOOK TO PASS.

Voskuhl – 4 fouls in 4 minutes and talking smack to Shaq. 2 things that other GMs will be attracted to when they are looking to sign guys to 10-days in 2012. Still, give the Big Oklahoman credit for not stepping back. He was riding Shaq in the fourth like his life depended on it.

Driving The Bus:   Shawn Marion

Under The Bus:    Jose Calderon

Game Theme:

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