ShamSports

The “if only we had a 20/10 guy” edition:

Alabi: got on the floor for the most anticipated 18seconds in Raptors (or his) history. Compelling stuff.

Andersen: courtesy of Devlin, a phrase that those fat guys at MaxDeal Technologies never want to hear again: “Andersen blows by Bosh”.

Banks: Mimosa. That is all.

Barbosa: the only thing blurry about him lately is his return date.

Bargnani: horrible start just shows Raptor fans that even though many have crowned him the king of this team, he is leap years behind the ability that the greatest Raptor of all time took with him to South Beach.

Calderon: at least the right head of our two headed monster showed up to play tonight. Shot the ball well, continued to hit from outside and tried to rally his teammates late.

Davis: that was one ugly ass jacket. Were those leather inserts on his shoulders?

DeRozan: aggressiveness was still there, as was his desire to get to the stripe. However, what was more predominant tonight was Wades ability to make DeRozan look like he was a 14 year old girl trying to defend Jordan in his prime. DeMar is going to have a lot of tape to watch on the plane.

Dorsey: stop the presses, Beetlejuice actually contributed!! In the absence of Evans, we needed someone to stand up and clean the glass and Dorsey did just that. His 2 steals in the first few minutes he saw the floor were pretty foreshadowing.

Evans: proof that snogging with an Aussie will only hurt you in the end.

Jack: if there is one hole in the Heat armour, it’s at the point. Oddly enough, rumours were out there that Jack might just fill that hole. Strange, then, that Jarrett appeared to have little interest in exploiting this matchup and instead looked like he’d rather be anywhere else.

Johnson: got the start in place of Evans and he played Bosh well the entire time he was on the floor. 3 fouls by the 6minute mark of the second quarter is kind of sucky, but it is Amir after all. Good shooting night but still no sign of last years energy or spark.

Kleiza: would love to see him perform Wild Boys at Karaoke night.

Weems: give the guy a couple of starts and all of a sudden he thinks he’s a legit NBA player worthy of being featured on a website. His 10 points in the first quarter came on another night where he decided to rely on his burst and surprise his defender. Another 3 for him tonight as well…something that is about as common as a Leafs victory these days.

Wright: sorry to see him take a step back again, but like the rest of this team, had to be expected given the shortened bench and the back to back.

Driving The Bus: Sonny Weems

Under The Bus: Jarrett Jack

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