The “so this is what it feels like to be bukkaked” edition:

Ajinca: Admit it: he’s better than you expected, but not as good as you had hoped. Kind of like Patrick O’Bryant with upside potential.

Alabi: and on the other side of the ledger, a guy who has the shelf life of lobster in a pot of boiling water.

Barbosa: buying up all the red shoes in Toronto to see if just one of them would give him a wish if he clicked them together.

Bargnani: 5 of 24 and 3 rebounds. As disappointing as buddies who try and cop your sh!t and, frankly, suck at it. Who said pirates only exist outside your own hood? I think we can all agree that Andrea has hit a midseason brick wall and the allstar break will do nobody as much good as him.

Bayless: in performance alone, he didn’t do a very good job of living up to Love’s hype. If anything he just showed that he may be third string material on above average teams. I’d say he disappeared at times tonight, but it’s tough to use that tag when the entire team was ghost-like.

Calderon: 9 rebounds was impressive but also indicative of the absolute brickfest that these teams put together. While he was one of the better Raptors on the court, he also had times where he looked like he was having a stroke mid-play. While his turnover number wasn’t high, the types of turnovers made it appear he was playing like he was high.

Davis: great energy leading to a double double. Shot the ball well, still needs help at the charity stripe and he needs to up his personality a bit. Sure it’s great to be all business on the floor, but pepper in some smiles and encouragement every now and then.

DeRozan: he was everywhere like a callgirl at a doctors convention, but offensively he was as aggressive as a pirate with a deserted crew. Quite bizarre since you’d hope he would step up as the second option with Andrea playing so poorly. Too much to ask, I guess.

Dorsey: saw little time and, even with that, played harder than Andrea.

Evans: frothing at the mouth.

A. Johnson: nice game that featured him in his glory: battling guys bigger and more talented than him. This gave him an excuse to foul at every opportunity and to point at his teammates to blame them for his misfortunes. Lovely stuff.

T. Johnson:  love his energy, he looks like a neighbourhood baller, has a good ability to involve his teammates and shoots with the frequency of Snooki’s mouth.

Kleiza: hoooooooooooooooot.

Weems: how this guy gets signed by anybody for more than a year this offseason is beyond me. If ever there was a posterboy for playing for yourself and not the team, Sonny is it.

Wright: Jack Armstrong has a blow up doll of Julian and he spoons it every night. I’m convinced of this.  Wright is indeed a good defender, but to come out and wonder aloud why he isn’t being played is a bit much. That said, if it gets rid of Weems, allow me to support this mission. Does make me wonder why when we couldn’t keep up with Minny, we wouldn’t throw one of our best defenders on the floor to help.

Driving The Bus: Ed Davis

Under The Bus: Vegetable Lasagna

Game Theme:

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