The “so this is what it feels like to be bukkaked” edition:

Ajinca: Admit it: he’s better than you expected, but not as good as you had hoped. Kind of like Patrick O’Bryant with upside potential.

Alabi: and on the other side of the ledger, a guy who has the shelf life of lobster in a pot of boiling water.

Barbosa: buying up all the red shoes in Toronto to see if just one of them would give him a wish if he clicked them together.

Bargnani: 5 of 24 and 3 rebounds. As disappointing as buddies who try and cop your sh!t and, frankly, suck at it. Who said pirates only exist outside your own hood? I think we can all agree that Andrea has hit a midseason brick wall and the allstar break will do nobody as much good as him.

Bayless: in performance alone, he didn’t do a very good job of living up to Love’s hype. If anything he just showed that he may be third string material on above average teams. I’d say he disappeared at times tonight, but it’s tough to use that tag when the entire team was ghost-like.

Calderon: 9 rebounds was impressive but also indicative of the absolute brickfest that these teams put together. While he was one of the better Raptors on the court, he also had times where he looked like he was having a stroke mid-play. While his turnover number wasn’t high, the types of turnovers made it appear he was playing like he was high.

Davis: great energy leading to a double double. Shot the ball well, still needs help at the charity stripe and he needs to up his personality a bit. Sure it’s great to be all business on the floor, but pepper in some smiles and encouragement every now and then.

DeRozan: he was everywhere like a callgirl at a doctors convention, but offensively he was as aggressive as a pirate with a deserted crew. Quite bizarre since you’d hope he would step up as the second option with Andrea playing so poorly. Too much to ask, I guess.

Dorsey: saw little time and, even with that, played harder than Andrea.

Evans: frothing at the mouth.

A. Johnson: nice game that featured him in his glory: battling guys bigger and more talented than him. This gave him an excuse to foul at every opportunity and to point at his teammates to blame them for his misfortunes. Lovely stuff.

T. Johnson:  love his energy, he looks like a neighbourhood baller, has a good ability to involve his teammates and shoots with the frequency of Snooki’s mouth.

Kleiza: hoooooooooooooooot.

Weems: how this guy gets signed by anybody for more than a year this offseason is beyond me. If ever there was a posterboy for playing for yourself and not the team, Sonny is it.

Wright: Jack Armstrong has a blow up doll of Julian and he spoons it every night. I’m convinced of this.  Wright is indeed a good defender, but to come out and wonder aloud why he isn’t being played is a bit much. That said, if it gets rid of Weems, allow me to support this mission. Does make me wonder why when we couldn’t keep up with Minny, we wouldn’t throw one of our best defenders on the floor to help.

Driving The Bus: Ed Davis

Under The Bus: Vegetable Lasagna

Game Theme:

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39 Responses to “Toronto Raptors Roll Call vs Timberwolves Jan 29”

  1. FAQ

    Inadvertantly caught the last half of the game and noticed that Raptors were mostly taking jump shots …. and avoided driving to the basket. Understandable because why risk one’s health driving dangerously to the hoop and getting punished besides, on a losing team.

    Unfortunate they suffered so many injuries, which must have upset their team playmaking development. Oh well … the draft and next season.

      • FAQ

        ….was watching Jurassic Park III, and Mission Impossible movies … and tuned into the game to keep track of the score … and watched some of the game. Kevin Love was rested in the last quarter. The game stunk …!!!

  2. WhatWhat

    It was like the team was still questioning in their minds Triano’s timeout last night when they had the 5 on 4 while they were playing today.

      • FAQ

        How low can they go …??!!!!

        I must admit they are doing better than I expected … remember my 2-30 prediction to the end of December … they beat that by a wide margin … 10-22, I think … Oh well … no harm.

  3. Darien

    I said Bargnani’s line would be 5-28 half jokingly. Half.

    We can make second overall. We can. YES. WE. CAN.

    • FAQ

      Hey, shaddup you mouth and gimme my $10 mil …. or else you will git a visit from my paisans who will play cricket with yer knees …!!!!

  4. Valit

    In an utopic world, after this performance..the GM, all coaches would hand out their resignation, The players would apologize in public and the fans would get some money back from MLSE.
    At the beginning of the game I yelled at TV and decided to give everybody on the team 10 lashes in public but after the first half I started to wonder about my own sanity and I began to laugh out loud beside my friend Stella Artois.What a wonderful Saturday night!!… I’d love nothing more after this game to be a reporter and ask 2 simple questions:

    1. are you not ashamed?

    Honestly, the best thing that Jay can do is send everybody on the beach for 1 week, come 1 hour before the game and leave as soon as you lose.

    PS. Excellent roll call…If anybody signs in the future Weems to a basketball contract, he should have a statue for stupidity.


      “If the truth hurts, you’ve been lying to yourself”

      The people drinking Kool Aid every year or every time BC pulls the trigger on trade/signing (aka fix or make a mistake) shouldn’t be surprised by any of this, at all.

  5. David Morris

    i think the raptors are hoping for the first pick overall and really playing like they want it, too bad there is no blake griffin in this years draft

  6. David Morris

    trade almost the whole team before the deadline, , keep derozen and #7, aand just take some d league players to fill the rest of the roster, hopefully get some first and second round picks for the nba players, then start over next year, with some decent picks, derozen and #7, and i can not imagine the team being any worst then it is right now

      • pran

        the ONLY player i would keep on this team is Special Ed, and maybe amir johnson…but if the right price came up for aj…..

          • KJ-B

            My list of keepers were: Calderon, DeRozan, Davis, Johnson… After tonight I’ll have to say Bayless instead of Calderon… He got eaten alive by Jonny Flynn–he’s only gonna be slower and older after his inevitable next injury, if there’s a market for him send him packing…

            I’ve said b4 we need to that Blue Jays trade when they got rid of McGriff/Fernandez for Carter/Alomar… In this case Jose/#7 need to go to change the culture as they’ve been around for 5/6 yrs respectively… Raps Reloaded 2012!!!

            • Theswirsky

              “He got eaten alive by Jonny Flynn”

              don’t agree with this at all. Numerous times Jose kept Flynn in front of him preventing penetration (people tend to notice when the ‘bad’ happens, just never the good). Flynn only hit 3 shots (2 back to back quick threes… and I’ll give those to Flynn any day of the week) and alot of his assists were in transition.

  7. FAQ

    I predict the Raptors will make the playoffs in …. 2111 … but please don’t hold me to that prediction. 😉

  8. Joe

    Jeez, why so much cynicism among some of you people. The constant criticism out of the rookies and second year players. If there’s anyone that deserves criticism it’s Bargnani, he’s a veteran of sorts on this team, but has about as much passion as a cardboard box. Let’s look at the bright side—the 2011 NBA Draft, and the ship will be righted, some great PFs and even a PG in the top 5, either can address our needs.

    • Nilanka15

      Excluding Colangelo and Triano, Bargnani deserves the most blame for this season. He’s no franchise player, doesn’t make anyone around him better, takes 50% of the game off, and has an “all-star performance” once ever 4 games. I absolutely cannot wait until his BYC status expires. I’ve circled it on my calendar!

      Additionally, he runs with a really high knee-kick, but doesn’t actually go anywhere. He looks so uncoordinated in everything he does, it’s hilarious. The only thing keeping him from earning the “bust” label is the fact that his draft class is probably the worst in NBA history.

      • Theswirsky

        “He looks so uncoordinated in everything he does”

        I never understood this. For a guy thats supposed to be ‘mobile’ and ‘smooth’… he sure as hell doesn’t look it. It really looks ackward and uncomfortable.

  9. KJ-B


  10. KJ-B

    TRIANO: Worst post game press interview in the history of the Raps–can this guy get fired already…maybe this game will help get rid of BryCo as well….SO MANY EXCUSES, this guy!!!

    1st 5 minutes of the game, #7/Calderon 2 man game–they act as if they’re Magic and Kareem, Penny and Shaq, Hakeem and Vernon Maxwell/Kenny Smith…THEY SUCK!!! Give ‘Deebo’ a touch here and there in the 1st Q, get his confidence up and he’ll be there for you when times get rough and no one else can get to the line!!! I mean #7 had like 10+ shots b4 DD got his 2nd!

    BIG UPS ED DAVIS!!! A true professional in every way–bout the only guy NOT panicking in the post uP..!

    Just what exactly does Sonny Weems, bring to the starting lineup besides clogging up the floor with another guy who only wants to score, and I mean in more ways than the obvious?!

    FREE the JULIAN!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. yertu damkule

    sigh. just…wow. tonight was the first time it seemed as though triano ‘lost’ the team.

  12. barenakedman

    The Raptors bench looked utterly dejected, even when the game was within reach and I include Triano and his staff among the hopeless looking. They are playing a game, something that they probably all love doing so why not act like it. Things are going to get better when these guys are able to have some fun and play without being constantly criticized at every mistake.
    I would let the players run a couple of practices while the coaches and management got together to discuss how to get the best out of the rest of this season.

  13. Nilanka15

    I wonder what would happen if Triano discarded every single defensive principle he tried to instill this season, and simply asked each player to guard their own man (like in a streetball game). Could they get any worse defensively? Probably not. Would it clear up any confusion among our brain-dead defensive players? Definitely. Don’t concern yourself with doubling, hedging, rotating, forcing baseline, etc. Just guard your man, dammit!

    As Raptor fans, we’ve become de-sensitized to how truly horrible we are defensively. It’s the equivalent of eating prison food for 4 years….eventually, it stops tasting horrible, and becomes normal. Bargnani is the mold-growing, grey-coloured gruel we’re being fed everyday, yet being told it’s prime rib. Some of the inmates (i.e. fanboys) have been convinced it’s prime rib, but I want some REAL prime rib, for fucks sake!


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