Your Basketball Fix Is Here

Keon Clark.

Anyone remember this? Go ahead, click on it, it’s a link to a story about how there’s going to be a professional basketball league in Canada starting in November. Now you’re probably thinking to yourself how come you’ve never heard of it. No worries, I’m sort of in the same boat, I had read the story when it first came out but not having heard anything since, I assumed the idea was killed, and that the body was floating somewhere along the Humber river. It wasn’t. They even have a website. And if that wasn’t good enough for you, how about a schedule?

Since there’s no Raptors basketball to support and I can’t be arsed to care what Jonas is doing, I’m going to see if I can be convinced into giving a sh*t about this. There are seven teams in this operation and I’m leaning towards supporting the Halifax Rainmen, who remind me of Dustin Hoffman, and have the best intro video of them all:

I’m already starting to hate the Quebec Kebs, I can’t put my finger on quite why, but over time I’ll find a good reason. Other outfits include the Saint John Mill Rats, London Lightning, The Island (yup, that’s what they’re called), and a bunch of other teams who haven’t figured out their nicknames: Moncton and Oshawa. They’re probably having a naming contest, my money’s on the Moncton Moose and the Oshawa Oh-shits. There’s already a viscous rumour that players don’t want to play in Moncton because of the taxes and what with it being Moncton and all.

I have a question to ask the NBLC: If Kobe Bryant asked them if he could play for the Quebec Kebs while David Stern taught Derek Fisher a lesson in negotiation and cancelled the season, would they say, a) “No Kobe, since you are under contract, we cannot allow you to play. You’ll have to void your contract with the Lakers to sign with us”. Or would they say, b) “Kobe, please tell us what you want *wink wink* and how much of that you want *wink wink*, and where you want it *wink wink*”. Well, the Chinese Basketball Association (ironically called the CBA), will restrict contracted NBA players from playing in their league in the event the season is cancelled. That is balls. Closing the door on such an opportunity says two things about the Chinese: They have bigger ambitions than just being a stop-gap for the NBA, and they’re patient enough not to make any rash decisions. Well played, China, well played. Maybe in a couple decades through some crazy economic shift, the best basketball league will be in China. I wouldn’t bet on it, but I wouldn’t be surprised.

On another note, this jersey article got me thinking: which Raptors jersey would I most like to wear? Easy: Keon Clark.

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