steph

ESPN rated all franchises, here’s the list.

Below is the rank for the Raptors, and this is out of 122 teams.

Bang for the Buck: 105

Depends on the bang. I haven’t gotten a bang since going to the playoff game against the Magic. Then again, I’m not into 4Korners.

Fan Relations: 93

They have a fan event sometime during training camp or something, so I guess that’s not terrible. The ranking confirms that.

Ownership: 104

This sounds harsh. It’s not the ownership’s lack of spending money or enthusiasm that’s holding this franchise back, it’s how that money’s being spent. Maybe this rating reflects their executive hires, in that case its bang on.

Affordability: 105

Tied to Bang for the Buck, this makes sense. The Raptors are not cheap, if you’re blowing $200 on a Raptor game for 2.5 hours, I’d suggest doing it on Craigslist for an hour. Guaranteed happy ending.

Stadium Experience: 83

Fair enough, going to a Raptors game is more enjoyable than stabbing yourself in the eye.

Players: 109

Fair.

Coaching: 40

Thank you, Dwane Casey. Imagine how much higher this would’ve been if Jay Triano hadn’t injected this franchise with the lazy sperm for three years.

Title Track: 111

Uggh…true enough, really. I don’t see a title in my lifetime.

Overall: 103

Bleak. This equates to being in bottom 16%, and that sounds right.

Silver lining: The Leafs are the worst team in North American sports.