garrett-hinchey

The “all cylinders pumpin’ then running out of oil” edition:

Alabi: The majority of ballers want to play in the U.S. and Alabi will be doing just that soon…but he’ll also be riding a yellow school bus and staying at a motel in middle America.

Andersen: Devlin whipped out the fitting nickname “DA” for our new POB-esque hero. Andersen hustled, shot perfect from the field and flailed enough to pick up 3 fouls in 15minutes. Sean Marks mixed with Matt Bonner. I’m telling ya.

Banks: Know what I liked? Appreciated seeing him sitting near the coaches and not at the end of the bench. He may not have above-average talent, but he knows basketball.

Barbosa: that offbalance three-pointer that hit absolutely nothing seemed to take the wind out of the Raptors sails. 1 of 6, 3 TOs in 12 minutes just is not going to get it done. Simple as that.

Bargnani: he was a beast for most of the game. He was as advertised on the offensive end, playing all over the floor, looking comfortable. Late in the game and throughout the game on the defensive end, he seemed out of touch. No presence on the glass, little effort. Half empty, half full.

Calderon: better game for Jose tonight. He had the outside touch, found his teammates and let the game come to him. Been in a deeper funk than George Clinton, so here’s to hoping he’s snapped out of it.

Davis: will the year be a write-off?

DeRozan: maybe he is all Snoop-Dogg and only peforms well on the West Coast. Great effort to get to the line (14 attempts) and a strong 7/12 from the field. Early fouls slowed him down and prevented him from a stellar night, but still performed the best he has since being deemed part of the future.

Dorsey: the second coming of Primoz Brezec. Local fans think he’s the second coming. Realists know he’s as likely to be a major piece to the puzzle as a screwdriver in a gun fight.

Evans: rebounding better than Drew Barrymore, he pulled down 10 rebounds in the first quarter alone, finishing with 19, 10 of which were offensive. Continued to keep his shots down, attempting only 6 and for a while looked like he was having more fun than Matt Devlin at a hairspray convention.

Jack: second night in a row where he couldn’t hold up his end of the PG tandem bargain. 23 minutes, made 1 shot and a lukewarm 5 assists. We have to get him going early, otherwise he just seems to fall back a step, both mentally and physically. Road trip isn’t going to get easier for him.

Johnson: really earning his contract, eh? Rob Ford will be more worthy of public support than Amir ever will be. Breaking it down: 11 minutes, 2 points, 3 rebounds, 3 fouls, –11. Worst signing in years.

Kleiza: quite the second half. Peanuts didn’t shy away from the long bomb, putting up 8 (hitting 3) and hustled enough to try and keep his team from giving away the farm. Also, let it be said, his steel-like gaze when he is “wronged” would make a kick ass poster for this team. Screw the Young Onez stuff. Show some mean ass mofos that look like they will kick your butt. Kleiza and Evans, hands on hips, staring into the camera? Personal bowel movement right there.

Weems: 3 of 10 and the on-court personality of a scared puppy. Sir, this is the NBA and you have a mediocre ad campaign behind your 9th-man-anywhere-else-butt. Make something happen.

Wright: know what’s better than a DNP-CD? A DNP and we don’t care.

Driving The Bus: DeMar DeRozan

Under The Bus: Sonny Weems

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