In our last game before the All-Star Break, 4th Assistant Coach Jay Triano is riding the bouncing pony tonight on the Replacement Coach Merry-Go-Round. Can’t wait to see which ill-advised lineups and defensive schemes he’ll break out to show Sam he should be “listened to”. TJ and Jose and Juan, all at the same time? Or maybe Rasho at C, Bosh at PF, Bargnani at the 3, AP at the 2, and Deflino at the point?* If you didn’t know, Triano’s the guy credited with helping Bosh find (and subsequently fall madly in love with) his consistent jumper. Thanks, Jay. Thanks for de-programming an aggressive post player. Raptors nation thanks you…with a mushroom stamp.**
*Actually…
** Not into stamp collecting? Then allow me to welcome you into the uber-exclusive “PEN15” Club! Here’s how it works…
Speaking of Bosh, his status for tonight’s game is questionable after bumping knees with Jacques Vaughn the other night. I think he’ll be out there, but if he takes the game off but suits up Sunday for the ASG, I’m going to be pissed. “Me before We”, “Brotherhood”, and all that.*
*The Dinosty, brought to you by ADIDAS. But not really.
Here’s CB doing his best John Amechi impersonation. Doesn’t he know he’s already been voted an All-Star? Could it be that basketball players are actually capable of extra-curricular activites that don’t involve naked hookers giving blowjobs to Lugers in diamond-filled bathtubs?
You think TJ’s gonna play? I don’t know if it’s better for his MENTAL health to play 15 unimportant minutes or sit and wait until he’s ready to make an impact. (I’m of course talking about his wrist sprain and not his previous injury). It’s my guess that TJ will NOT be in uniform, and take the All-Star Break to work himself up to smoldering the NBA in the second half of the season.
I’ll be sitting on my couch tonight, clapping my hands to the following cheers:
LET’S GO BOX-OUT!
WATCH THE THREE-BALL!
If you’re at the game, feel free to join in. ESPECIALLY if you speak Italian, Spanish, or Jamario.
Now, I know we’ve probably not learned our lesson, because let’s face it, we never do. So it’s wishful thinking to assume that Vince, Jefferson, the battery-operated skeleton of Darrell Armstrong, and Boki Nachbar (especially Nachbar!) will be defended behind the three-point line. All we can do is hope and pray that they play like the New Jersey Nets, meaning discombobulated and awful, and that Jason Kidd doesn’t grab 15 offensive boards and set an NBA record.
It seems Kidd has been neck-deep in trade rumors longer than the Iraq conflict, for which you can either credit Rod Thorn for not acting in haste and trading Kidd, say, for Kwame Brown and Pau Gasol’s fat younger brother, (just off the top of my head, it’s not like ANYONE would do that) OR lambast him for wasting the last effective years of one of the greatest PG’s of all time. But even though Jason Kidd couldn’t hit a jump shot if he was tossing marbles, he’s still a triple-double threat every time he steps on the court. What gets me is that the points are usually the TOUGHEST stat for him to accumulate – he grabs 9 boards* and drops double digit assists with ease.
* Can you believe Jason Kidd has led his team in rebounds SINCE 2004! I thought it was too good to be true, so I checked: the last player to lead the Nets in boards other than Kidd was Kenyon Martin (back when he was still beating Joumana…ah, the days gone by…). This is harder to grasp than the black smoke monster on LOST (or why people watch “Two and a Half Men”). This season, the Nets have 5 players over 6’10”, yet 34 year old nearly geriatric Jason Kidd continues to set the pace with over 8 boards per game. How? Why? He’s a PG, the shortest player for NJ every time he steps on the court, not to mention the player furthest from the rim on most plays. In fact, the Nets big men over the last four years – Kristic, Collins, Mourning, Mikki Moore, Josh Boone – ALL who played significant minutes for this team, should be ashamed.
You know who else boggles my mind? NBA superstar, internet buffoon, and sideline cycling enthusiast Gilbert Arenas:
On the East side, I don’t know if there were any big snubs. I mean, some people wanted Jose Calderon. Jose Calderon? Who? Come on man, this is All-Star, people. When I’ve seen some of the names that are being thrown around on the ticker as snubs, it’s killing me. I understand Calderon has the best assist-turnover ratio in the league, but you know what’s funny? All back-up point guards have the best assist-turnover ratios. Screw it, Kevin Ollie should be an All-Star then! For like five or six years, Ollie was No. 1 in assist-turnover ratio!
What an excellent argument. The guy who really writes your blog should be proud. Gibby, you’re my boy, but comparing Kevin Ollie to Jose Calderon is like comparing Eddie Jordan to Terrence Howard. Howard’s a far superior coach, and an actor? Please, no comparison. Sounds like somebody’s got a big glass of Jealous Juice and they’re slurping it up! Could it be that just because YOU rack up more turnovers than a jewish bakery, and because YOU aren’t a “real” point guard, you can’t appreciate how difficult it is to protect the basketball?
Girl Talk: Marcus Williams
He is a
CLOWN ass nigga for sure, confused as fuck. Get it together boo. He is the type of nigga thats gonna be LONELY for the rest of his fucking life.
Even with all the “R-Jeff luvs the cock” and “J-Kidd’s a rat” postings, I had to get on Marcus. That’s quite the rep he’s developing…
