The “told you it wasn’t the coach” edition.
Adams – HE GOT FOULED!!!! THEN HE HIT BOTH FREE THROWS!! What an amazing steal by Colangelo!! We now know why the Nets were so pissed at losing him. He is automatic from the line!! I heart you Bryan!!
Bargnani – you know what he is starting to remind me of? LAST YEAR!!! Poor bastard, he actually starts producing and then these twerps called “scouts” decide to actually, you know, scout him and tell their guys to put a body on him. Wish we had some of those.
Bosh – don’t know why people are ragging on this guy at his age. It’s gotta be tough to still be mobile at … what’s that? HOW OLD?? Jesus man, suck it up and be a man. Either that girlfriend with a forehead that goes on for days is wearing you out in your condomansion, or you have finally clued into the fact that your GM couldn’t get deep in the playoffs with scuba gear, a submarine AND a 4000lb anchor tied to his feet.
Calderon – you know it’s bad when Sir Hopalot has 14pts and is the second highest scorer in the game and has scored more than Bosh and Gimpy…..yet less than Joey Graham. YIKES.
Graham – the guy is like that first game of three card monte you play on the streets of NYC. You win and you think MAN, I GOT THIS. You smile, you high five your mates. Then maybe you win a couple more, string it together, looking cool to all those that watch. But you know there is someone in the crowd that is thinking “yeah, live it up, buddy….we know you are gonna bite it soon”. Well, Joey has won a few hands in a row, including a pretty solid game tonight, but ……
Humphries – he’s still hurt…..but at least he don’t look like this anymore.
Jawai – nice to see him have that heart to heart with Kris late in the game and seeing the two of them laugh, knowing they have had nothing to do with proving that Sam wasn’t the real problem. I actually had my friend who lip reads tell me what Jawai said and it was something along the lines of “mate, I couldn’t believe it when me agent called me from me barbie and told me I got this sweet deal from some sheila named Bryan. I asked if they had checked me heart out and me agent said they were more concerned with getting a better thread count for Bryan’s shirts. Struth!”
Kapono – how disturbing is it when one of the most active players without the ball is……Jason Kapono? I applaud his effort, but what a sad statement.
Moon – you know when you are sitting on the deck in the summer, having a cold beverage, kicked back, letting the rays hit ya and then you feel a fly on you? You look at it. It looks at you. It just sits there. You swat at it, but it moves just in time. Then it comes back. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. That annoyance, my friend, is natures way of imitating Jamario Moon’s jump shot.
O’Neal – and playing the part of the fly….
Parker – classic moment in Raptors television history when they showed AP and Bosh sitting beside each other, looking like a basketball version of M*A*S*H. AP made the Cavs pay with 2 wide open corner 3s to start the Raptors comeback, but then he disappeared. Actually, thinking of the monte example earlier, AP’s game kind of reminds me of finding the pea in this game.
Solomon – seriously, dude, what’s up with you staring down officials? You think they even know who you are? You are the type of player they need to do a triple take just to get your number right when they call a foul on you. Face it, if we hadn’t blown our wad on Gimpy and the Heartbreaker, you would have been hanging out with Shirley and her best friend Shania in Lubbock Texas playing for a minor league team that had its catering done by Jack In The Box.
Ukic – in a couple weeks, kids will be going to bed dreaming of the gifts they will open in the morning. Tonight, TJ Ford is going to bed praying he gets a piece of the Rokonator. If Ford faces this guy and is keeping his emotions in check, Roko could come out of the game looking like Rosanne Barr’s pantyhose: full of holes and beyond repair. I actually have grown to like the guy, but mostly because I feel sorry for him. He needs a good 2-3 years in the league to become anything. He did fairly well tonight against backups, so it has to be considered a small confidence boost. Baby steps.
Driving The Bus: Joey Graham
Under The Bus: Andrea Bargnani
Game Theme: Is This You? (note: audio NSFW)
You should also be sure to check out two things that the Republic are proud to bring you on the exclusivity tip: our fun until the end Live Blog and for those of you on the cutting edge of this interweb thing, be sure to subscribe to our Twitter feed which will be bringing you in-game score updates and some hidden treats down the road.
