Adams – get a sleeve for the other arm.
Bargnani – start shooting left handed.
Bosh – get the hell out.
Calderon – pass out Red Bull’s at half-time.
Colangelo – hire Messina.
Gheradini – get monogrammed cuff-links.
Graham – tie my shoelaces with a double knot.
Humphries – tea bag Voshkul.
Jawai – start going to Lucy’s for breakfast.
Kapono – swap wives with Jaric for a week.
Moon – veneers.
O’Neal – keep my hands to myself.
Parker – remain strong and invest in a pair of tweezers.
Solomon – start swallowing.
Triano – come back as an assistant for the ’09-’10 season.
Ukic – wear my sideburns like Jose.
Voshkul – continue swallowing.