Adams – get a sleeve for the other arm.

Bargnani – start shooting left handed.

Bosh – get the hell out.

Calderon – pass out Red Bull’s at half-time.

Colangelo – hire Messina.

Gheradini – get monogrammed cuff-links.

Graham – tie my shoelaces with a double knot.

Humphries – tea bag Voshkul.

Jawai – start going to Lucy’s for breakfast.

Kapono – swap wives with Jaric for a week.

Moon – veneers.

O’Neal – keep my hands to myself.

Parker – remain strong and invest in a pair of tweezers.

Solomon – start swallowing.

Triano – come back as an assistant for the ’09-’10 season.

Ukic – wear my sideburns like Jose.

Voshkul – continue swallowing.

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