In an unexpected turn of events, Google Alerts has returned a sole result for the keywords “Joey Graham NBA”. Upon investigation by vigilante internet activists, the source of this alert was revealed to be the Raptors Republic Forums. Specifically, an internet-poster who assumes the persona of tenforthewin was identified as the originator of this ghastly prank.

Internet-goers stated their disgust, with Afro_Daddy alleging, “might be the dumbest thing iv ever read here. no disrespect”. Although Afro_Daddy‘s insult was thinly veiled by the “no disrespect” qualifier, others were not so kind. WJF rebuked, “someone get drunk last night?”, asserting that tenforthewin may have been in a highly inebriated condition when conceiving the evil plot.

The drama continued into the night as passersby spurred the OP by suggesting rancid outcomes: “Bring Araujo back too”, chimed Vykis sarcastically, presumably while reading RR on the shitter, as is the case with most loyal readers. In the chaotic aftermath, shouts of “Bring Jose Calderon back!” were heard. This made little sense considering that the Spaniard already finds himself nested on the Raptors roster. The assailant who fired the remark was later picked out of a lineup and identified to be pesterm1 of Milton, ON, who posted this while driving on the 401, possibly lamenting just how fucking far Milton really is from the rest of civilization.

Others, such as IROR, were lost for words and were reduced to incoherent internet jargon such as “Lol”. On the condition of anonymity, one moderator close to the situation revealed that this behaviour was being caused by “dick all to talk about”. This conjecture, when combined with the known fact that a Raptors fan need to fap every 15 minutes and the constraint that there’s only so much fapping a human body can take, results in “time that needs to be filled”, and hence utterances of Joey Graham on what is usually a respected forum.

The dire situation was later controlled, with eye-witnesses suggesting that it was due to .40 Cal Flakes’ desperate plea: “Sigh. I know we are in the dog days of the off season but still…”. To be sure and for public safety the thread was locked, containing the outbreak to only 1300 views. When forum moderators were approached as to why the thread had not been altogether exterminated, the reason cited was that “an example needed to be made” to ensure that such misanthropic behaviour would not repeat.

We’ll have more if this situation develops any further, like if for some mysterious reason the thread is unlocked. Stay tuned.

Share this:
  • Ozraps

    Boredom has finally lead to pure insanity

  • cesco

    Wasn’t he Sam pet aversion ? I felt sorry for him when I read how Sam was reprimanding him like he was a child .

  • Kev

    really arse? really? things must be real slow around RR right now. funny…..but still…….

  • Nilanka15

    The season can’t start soon enough….

  • ZZ


  • Destro

    :TO:  dats my underachieving SF

  • Matt52

    There is only one word for this post:  AWESOME.

    Nice work, Arse.  Bringing about a chuckle in this truly boring time is an accomplishment.

  • Yerp

    Where the fuck is the Stephen Graham thread

  • WJF

    Nothing wrong with a post like this, especially when I get mentioned! 

  • afro daddy

    hey i got a mention lol. I’m actually dying of laughter right now. i think I’m changing my handle to no disrespect since i cut my hair

  • The Fox

    Very “The Onion” of you…

  • Sam

    LOL this is hilarious, the Joey Graham thread really was that bad

  • Statement

    This is good shit. Nice work.

    Arse, my suggestion is you consult Jays and Leafs bloggers to get a handle on what they do in their offseasons. 

    It’s gotta be better than thumb-sucking in the fetal position waiting for Amir Johnson to take the opening night tip.

  • Marc

    On Joey G:  Turns out you need to do more than LOOK like a NBA player in order to BE a NBA player.

    Who knew?

    That’s some satire gold there Arse, well done!

  • Guest


  • drizz

    lol awesome

  • Ion66

    So you close a thread on J G, and then create a post in which we can, in effect continue to talk about J G?

    • Arsenalist

      Mind. Blown.

  • FortyCalFlakes


    Arse you kill me. Too too funny.