Toronto Raptors Roll Call vs Thunder Dec 3

4 mins read

The “Jack Armstrong wants to make love to the third quarter” edition:

Alabi: flares…somebody find me the flares…

Barbosa: He Amir’d all over himself picking up 2 fouls in 2 minutes to start the game. Then he did something Amir hardly ever does: buckle down and play hard & smart. Leandro absolutely was the class of the court today, getting pissed off at himself and taking it out on a Thunder team that looked like they were standing by a jet engine.

Bargnani: smiling, pumping his fists, hugging his teammates. It was like he found out tiramisu was being served in the players lounge after the game. 26 and 12 against a western conference team with a formidable front line is impressive. Oh and 42 minutes of playing time means the little woman will have to do most of the work tonight.

Bayless: I want to rename my girlfriend Bayless for just one night so I can kiss it and call it my own. You have to think that Alvin Williams sees a lot of himself in this kid and will be doing his best to be his mentor.

Calderon: no doubt the piston in the engine tonight. He actually played some D, he made everybody look like they were wearing oven mitts and shiver me timbers he was hitting shots. 8 points and 15 assists…but no free throw attempts.

Davis: an okay night. He certainly settled down and didn’t jump around like he was Tarzan for most of the night. Going to take a few months for him to get acclimated and by then he will be hugging the rookie wall. Hopefully by then he’ll also be sporting a mouthguard that fits.

DeRozan: nice night. Not too flashy, not too lost. I think the pace suited him, just too bad he wasn’t more of a participant in it.

Dorsey: standing around the corner with a piece of wood waiting for Ed to trip over it.

Evans: early Christmas shopping.

Johnson: perfect from the floor, perfect from the stripe, 9 rebounds, a corny grin that makes every kid smile. Amir was in his happy place tonight…which must mean the new Keisha album came in.

Kleiza: honestly, have you ever seen a better imitation of old school Bargnani? Get us all excited by stringing together some great games only to disappear like your girlfriend when the bill comes. He’s a bigger tease than her.

Stojakovic: um, so, like, gum chewing classes. Look them up and enrol.

Weems: I’m sure many of you were breaking out the KY after a couple of his dunks, but he offset those with a whole bunch of nothing. Some brutal defence in the first half and some nonchalant play in the second were pretty upsetting. Have to think he’ll be taking a few lumps in video review tomorrow.


Driving The Bus: Jose Calderon

Under The Bus: Linas Kleiza

Game Theme  (** NSFW **):

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